Is there a way I can stop myself from feeling suicidal every day?

Question

Hi. I am a seventeen-year old girl who has been deeply depressed for years. I've hidden it quite well; nobody else is aware of my pain(I cover it by smiling and being friendly often-NO ONE is aware of it), but I desperately want to speak to someone about it, but I don't have anyone. My family already have their own problems to deal with(financially, and marriage-wise), none of my friends would understand, and if I told a teacher they would just merely consult my parents, which I do not want.

I always feel so sad because all of my friends are so smart, and whenever I see them I see mature adults with great potential and a promising future ahead of them. I am not as smart as they are; i'm of average intelligence(but have a strong weakness in mathematics) so I always feel that I am automatically doomed for a life where I am still poor and unsuccessful..

I am ignored by most of my fellow classmates, and sometimes even by my group of friends. I just don't fit in with anyone.

None of the boys like me because I am tall and shy. I never did see anything wrong with appearance before; i've had people say that they find me beautiful, and sometimes i'd even think so, but my self-esteem deeply plummeted after was repeatedly made fun of by boys over the years. So because i've been made fun of, it makes me feel that there MUST be something wrong with me, and feeling that I am not smart, potential-filled, or attractive really makes me depressed, and sometimes the sad emotions that consume me are too much.

I've been too afraid in the past to actually hurt myself, but now that I am a senior I fear that I won't be able to stop myself anymore...

I just cannot a good life for me in the future, I just always see myself as a unsuccessfully poor girl without a good job or a spouse.

Is there any way for me to become happier? Or I am I doomed to always be depressed?

I am sorry if this was very long... Also, I don't think i'd want to call a hotline, cause I fear that my parents would see it in the phone bill...

Answer 1

ok. well you took the first step and that was telling somebody. the second step is to stop looking at everythings bad side and start looking at the world as a beautiful place. i felt jus like you in the 6th grade and i am in 8th now in that time i have become very happy. if you call the hotline it wont show up on the bill. you  can also email me anytime if you wanna talk. i am only 13 but i am very wise. being depressed is something that is deep inside of you. and knowing that somebody understands you can help you feel al little better. its not good to hide these kinds of things. it will make them worse. and try finding new friends surround yourself with people that are going to make you feel happy. and start over. start your look at the world. start everything over as if wat ever is bothering you was never there. i use to always cry over a boy because we were close and we spreaded apart. now if you believe in god always talk to him whenever you want somebody to listen i have been praying every night that me and this guy would be closer again and he is listening he watches over everybody. even if it seems like he isnt listening he is and he is always testing you. if you wanna talk more email me or look me up on myspace my email is [e-mail].

Answer 2

Sweetheart, listen: 1st, you do not read like an unintelligent person! Your own emotions are keeping you from being happy. Your parents are probably having marriage problems because of money. It is the sole issue with any marriage these days. Don't feel that you having depressive behavior is going to make things harder on your parents. It is important that you confide in them. They will know what's best for you- even if it doesn't seem that way all the time.

You have to speak with them directly about this, because you are underage, and you couldn't be able to seek medical treatment for antidepressants without your parents consent. The best thing you can do is sit them down, both at the same time. Let them know that you are experiencing what you described to us. Let them know that you need help, and don't be sorry for feeling this way, especially feel terrible about imposing this situation on your parents, or anyone for that matter- because they birthed you. They committed to raising you, being there for you, thru thick and thin. They love you. You need to tell them, and go see a therapist immediately to determine your level of sickness, and so that you can be put on treatment asap.

best of luck to you. and remember this too shall pass.

Answer 3

look up a suicide hot line in your phone book.  it will be all confidential.

OR have an adult help you contact a theropist.

Answer 4

Part of being a teenager is about being more sensitive to what people say about you, the way you look and act. (it is the nature your brain, when you get older you will find people's comments have less effect).

Every woman is beautiful. You job is to find out in what way you are beautiful and then wear the right sort of clothes, hair style and so on that makes you look your best.

As for depression. You can find someone to talk to. Maybe a teacher, priest or some other adult.

You can deal these feelings in other ways. Take up a hobby or sport. That is, find something you want to do and enjoy doing.

The journey from depression is a long one, a lot comes from the small steps you take. setting goals in your life to work towards and so on.

Answer 5

try lsd  or do what i do............... transcendental meditation

Answer 6

Welcome to my life 4 years ago. I was a socially awkward girl standing well above the guys in my class. I didn't want to talk to my family about anything because they too were having their problems. One day I finally realized that it was getting ridiculous and I needed help so I decided to talk to my mom. I was so surprised at her reaction that to this day I am glad I spoke with her. She was a great listener and was so happy I decided to talk to her. We went to a counselor and I got the help I needed and I was able to talk to someone about what I felt. My family never once judged me for how I felt and they were so supportive for the few months it took for me to feel better. This is just a small part of your life and I promise you that you will feel better talking to somebody. Good Luck and I hope you know it can only get better!