Is there a way to handle this situation without hurting someone's feelings?

Question

Friends of ours recently bought the house next to us. We love them dearly but we don't want to hang out everyday. Everytime we are in our yard they come over or their son yells about coming over until they finally send him over. They never even ask, just send him over. No exaggeration, this is DAILY. Sometimes we just want to relax with our own kids & not have company. And I get tired of babysitting their son. I really don't know what to do. I don't want to lose them as friends but they are driving us absolutely nuts. Is it even possible to say anything without sounding like a jerk?

Answer 1

I believe in honesty.. tell them what you say here.. if they get hurt then only because they get hurt easily.. tell them you love them dearly and their lovely wonderful son also .. but in smaller doses.. such as not every day.. that you need to spend some quality time with your own family alone...  also....ifr they don'[t get it.. put a sign on the door.. and write on it.. Family day - only immediate family allowed to attend'' if anyone who is a friend doesn't understand that in a marriage one needs some alone time with ones partner and expect you to babysit their son.  then she or theyh are not genuine friends then they are taking advantage of you.. and I would not want that either.. it's their duty to look after their son..  you can do so on occasion.. tell the boy.. .you are going out.... you have no time to play with him.. he got a mom.. ''' it sounds more as if they really are not that interested in the friendship and more interested in a free babysitter so you need to tell them in a friendly but assertive way.. that you are glad that you are all friends. . but that daily babysitting is out.. you have other things to do..and if he is lonely for company then send your kids over to her.  when he says he is coming over just tell him.., Wait.. xx  and x*x will come over to you and do that every day.. see how she likes to play babysitter to your kids and her own....''

Answer 2

Tough one for sure.

I cant think of a good way to handle it other than making sure they are forced to return the favor on occasion by babysitting for you.

Good luck

Answer 3

Depending on how good a friend they are, it could be done.

Don't friends confide in each other?  Sit down with your friend and talk to her.  Explain how you want to have family time.  Tell her you don't mind her son coming over once in a while.  But not every day.  Tell her you're really sorry but that's the way you feel.  Say it nicely.  If she's really a friend she'll understand and there won't be a problem.  If it does create a problem and you lose a friend, look at the bright side.  At least the kid won't be coming over anymore.  (Just kidding.)

True friends will work things out.

So don't bottle up these feelings.  Go over and talk to her now.  Good luck.

Answer 4

This is a tough one. Here's an idea. Invite your friend ( the lady of the house) out for lunch. Over soup and warm bread (possibly margaritas) and tell her how you feel. In addition to being a friend, she's also human. Which mean she gets tired and grouchy, and hungry... trust me she will understand.

Remember, it's not what you say, it how you say it.

Answer 5

You can certainly have a chat with them and explain that though you are thrilled they are so close, you need your privacy and would prefer they ask before just dropping by.  Nothing should have changed just because they moved. That includes play time for the kids.   If they are really good friends, they will understand and respect your home rules.

Answer 6

Be polite, but firm and tell them you are very happy that they are your next door neighbors, but that you also have a private life that includes only your immediate family.  Let them know that you will invite them over often, but you would prefer that they not come over without an invitation.

They may be hurt momentarily, but I think they will eventually understand.