Is there a way to tactfully ask people to bring food to your wedding?

Question

i want to have like a either a potluck wedding or assign certain things to bring for everyone... is there a way to do this without looking really tacky?

Answer 1

I don't think so.

Answer 2

No

Answer 3

on the invitation:

address the wedding as a 'potluck wedding'

make a list of what you want the families to bring, 'John & Jane Smith and family: dessert' etc. And at the top of the list: 'We would love your gift to us to be:...Include this with the invitation.

Answer 4

BYO...F?? (Bring Your Own Food)

Not sure otherwise!

Answer 5

are you searious?

Answer 6

in

"lieu of gifts we would love it if you bring a covered dish for our reception"

Answer 7

I hear about this being done, but I hear about it from disgruntled guests who are stunned to be asked. I would avoid this at all costs.

Instead of making it a potluck, consider timing your wedding so that all you really need to serve at a reception would be cake and punch. Guests would really prefer that over having to schlep food to a wedding.

Hope that's helpful!  :-)

Answer 8

I will say I never heard of that until I started coming here. I think that's fine if you restrict asking to immediate family or very, very close relatives, but I don't think you can really ask anyone to bring a dish to your wedding.

Answer 9

Simple answer: NO! Just another bride who wants a bigger party, more guests than she can afford!! If you invite people, they are GUESTS. You don't ask guests to bring their own food!! This is not just "tacky" - it is thoughtless, selfish and rude. If all you have is $100. then you need to serve iced tea and cookies and a small cake to 20 people. If you have less than $100, you have no business getting married!!! The only way you can possibly even consider having a reception is for you to announce to your family that you are getting married at 3 pm on a certain date by an officiant in a park, or your apartment,or someone's house. Period. Then, shut up and wait and listen. If your mom or aunt or best friend announces that you MUST have a party and that she will organize it, be gracious and grateful for whatever happens. Someone might throw you a BBQ, or they might host a potluck but you absoluteky can NOT even consider asking people to bring food to something you are planning for yourself. Yeccckkkk.......and for people who thumbs down or say they hear of this all the time , well, you also hear about people who pass gas in public, spit on sidewalks, write bad cheques. Just because it happens all the time doesn't mean it is a good thing!!!

Answer 10

No....this is one occasion you can't ask the guests to bring food.

You can do one of two things.......

You can have maybe your Mother and some Aunts fix the food.....or

You can have what people used to have at weddings....cake and punch.

Answer 11

This is pretty common at Quaker weddings.  The reception is almost always pot luck. (however Quaker weddings are almost NEVER formal events--if this is a formal event then forget it.)

If it is not something your families are used to or expecting then it's going to be seen as tacky by SOMEONE.

So I'm not sure how you would go about telling them except to treat it as a gift preference.  when they contact you to see where you are registered you tell them that instead of a gift you would like a covered dish for the reception and then tell them what you would like them to bring or have a few items for them to choose from.

Answer 12

This is accepted in some parts of the country- but since you're asking this question, I have to assume that where you live isn't one of them. I live in the northeast, and I never heard of this until I started coming here. Unless this is something that happens frequently in your area, prepare to offend a lot of people, no matter how nicely you word it.

Answer 13

not really.  but if you find a way that is not tacky then way to go.  why would you ask people to bring something to your wedding other than their best wishes and happiness for you and your intended?  that is one more thing that they have to worry about and shouldn't have to.

Answer 14

On my reception card I posted

Reception to follow at ___ Park. Potluck Dishes would be greatly appreciated. BYOB, Tea, coffee, lemonade and punch provided along with hot foods. (I am serving Pulled pork, turkey, greenbeans, baked beans and mashed potatoes)

My fiance and I are both single parents and we don't have family nearby to help us host our wedding. So, we opted for a slightly pot luck reception...

As for those who say it is bad form... Not so, I have been to several potluck receptions and they worked beautifully. It really depends on your friends and family and how comfortable you are about asking people to help you out. BTW, I only invited close family and friends. (BTW!!! If you don't have 100 dollars you have no business getting married???? ARE YOU KIDDING ME???? I am a non-traditional college student (29yrs old) and my fiance just graduated college at 33yrs old and just started a new job... We both provide for our children soley and want to continue to afford providing for them... we don't want to be indebted to caterers, DJ's, florists, photographers...etc...UGH some ppl make me so mad!)

My opinion is why start your life off together in debt?

Answer 15

You cannot do this on an invitation.  If you want a Pot Luck Wedding then you take what you get.  If you want to ?assign? things for people to bring first you need to talk with these people, close family and friends I would hope, and let them know what you intend and see who can do/bring what.

You might consider just having a coffee and cake reception or an open house at your/his parents or your place.  This would be considerable less tacky than a Pot Luck Wedding, especially one with assigned tasks and requirements

Answer 16

Unless your wedding is REALLY casual and you only have about 15 guests, all close friends and family, it's tacky. You should throw a reception that you can afford - if that means just cake and punch at 2 PM instead of a full dinner at 7 PM, that's how it has to be.

Think about it this way - your guests are getting dressed up, buying you a gift, traveling what might be a considerable distance, just to see you get married (not for the food). Asking them to prepare, bring along, lug around, serve, and then take home a dish for YOUR reception is asking too much. Your guests aren't a meal ticket or a source of income. A reception is a party you throw for them as much as for you, to thank them for their support and love throughout your life.

Answer 17

I personally think it's tacky to ask that of your guest...However, if you were to ask - let's say certain individuals to do it; it wouldn't be so bad. For example there is always a grandmother, auntie or even an uncle that are known for their special dishes. Gather up a few skillfull people that can cook & ask if they could conjur up a potluck...

Answer 18

That is so tacky no matter how you word it.

Answer 19

There really is no good way to ask, so I would speak with my closest friends and family about bringing some of their favorite dishes. My fiance's brother and his fiancee' are having a potluck wedding, but that's only because their church family offered.

Answer 20

It depends on the culture, and on your circle of friends. If you're trying for a formal wedding it won't work. If you're calling up a bunch of friends and inviting them to celebrate you getting hitched, I say go for it!

Inbetween it's all up to you.

Answer 21

Nope. It's tacky. Period. No way of getting around it. I think it is a great idea! But it is socially accepted that if you want to have a wedding, you have to provide the food. You'll either have to dig up the money or just appear tacky. Some people will embrace it. Some people will whine about it. Some people will snicker behind your back. Some people will not show up at all. That's just the way it is. Good luck!

Answer 22

I think this is ok if your reception is going to be casual!  Just make sure to let people know it's laid back!  It's something different-good for you!  It's your wedding so do what you want!