Is there a way to teach my kids to walk with me, not away from me?

Question

My children are plenty old to walk on their own. They are 7 & 5. I have put them in the grocery basket forever. I am slowly wheening them off of that. I have the most problems when I am in the checkout line.. They want to run towards the 50 cent toy machines.. and if I'm being still for very long they seem to get anxious and want to run around in circles.. I have threatened them, spanked them when we got home.. I sometimes wish I could get one of those child leashes.. I don't know how to properly discipline my children while in public.. I feel like no matter what I do in this situation it is wrong. I don't spank my children in public, and making them stand in the corner of the store throwing a fit. I can't just leave the store, otherwise how would I get groceries?? Is this just something I'm going to have to deal with till they are older, or does anyone have any helpful hints that work for them. I know there are plenty of parents out there whose children act like angels. HELP!!!

Answer 1

Hit them in front of everyone, it is no one elses business but yours, you have the right to hit your child, if you do not, they become undisciplined

Answer 2

I always did the 1 hand on the cart thing. Explain to them about safety and why they need to stay right with you if you haven't done that already. If they walk away from you then they have to go in the cart - it's a priveledge to be able to walk with Mommy in the store, if they can't follow the rules then they ride in the cart.

Answer 3

If you want to break their habit, you will have to do some things that are going to inconvenience you. When you take them out, and they start throwing a fit, you simply tell them if you do not stop, we will leave this store and when we get home, you will sit on your bed for the rest of the day. If they continue to do it, then you do exactly what you told them you would do. Even if that means, leaving your full cart of groceries there. When you get home, you make them sit in their room with nothing to play with for the rest of the day just as you said you would. You have to follow through with what you tell them. Its hard, and it takes patience, but you must be consistant. It will not take many times before they start to listen, once they realize that you mean business and are going to punish them exactly how you said you would. You should not have to bribe your children with candy and food to get them to behave.

lol@the thumbs down. I did this with my children ONCE. Never again have I had a problem with them misbehaving while shopping.

De Deuce deserves best answer.

Answer 4

Start keeping those quarter machines as a reward at the end of the shopping trip, my mother did it to me and it worked. Tell them the better they behave the more quarters they get, and if they don't behave, stick to it and don't give them any quarters.

Answer 5

All kids love those stupid machines.  I hate the stores for putting them in so if there is a delay in the line because of them, then it's the store's fault.

But you can try this..Put a box popsicles (or lollipops or whatever)  in the basket.  Tell them that you will only buy them if they are well behaved and walk with you.  If they run to the candy machines, then tell the clerk that you don't want to buy them after all.

Answer 6

My kids are the same age and fortunately, I don't have a problem with them, but when my older one was about 3 and my little one was an infant, she walked away from me and got out of my sight. I didn't panic because she wasn't far and she stayed in one place. BUT that moment scared her to death! A great learning lesson. :) Have you tried telling them if they behave during the entire shopping time, they can pick one small item at the end to buy (a small candy or other?? my kids like to pick their protein bars....) It may sound like bribery but we have to try all kinds of things! If they still don't behave, just don't take them shopping with you for a while, and if they ask, tell them they aren't allowed to come unless they behave. Good luck!

Answer 7

Well, the FIRST clue here is that they are KIDS.

Secondly, it is NOT fair to ask them to act like angels in public and like morons any other time.

Get my drift? The REAL problem here is YOU not them. They (kids are great at this) KNOW they can do what they want to do because of the GENERAL discipline they get at all other times. There only problem is they DON'T know the sound of moms voice. (once they head for the candy machine blood leaves the brain and goes straight to the legs)

7 & 5 are an age where consquenses are starting to have meaning. You need to educate them that they must stay next to you when in public (have you EVER told them the story about the boogeyman? Trust me, HE is real)

Another thing you COULD do is create a sham with the grocer manager (I am SURE he has an interest in their being good little tykes while in his store) . Alert him to when you are going to be coming in to the store and when the kids act up have him to nab them by the nape of the neck and haul them to his office (for a shakedown) Of course, you'll have to come and bail them out (good cop, bad cop).

This incident COULD have a lasting effect on them as to the proper activities of children in a store.

Believe me, there is NO STRONGER force for the disciplining of children then the fact that OTHER people will be watching them while they are out of their mothers eyesight. It is like recruiting a whole village to look after them for you.

Hey! That's a good idea for a book about raising children. I'll call it "It Takes a Village"

Answer 8

leash?

But really this pertains to my life knoledge, just make your trip fast paced tell them before hand that if the fall behind they get left behind, when they get left behind and they will, just watch in the background as they completly flip out, everytime therafter theyll cling to you

Answer 9

Number one -- if your children act out in public you must discipline them in public.  I recommend "Dare to Discipline" by Dr. James Dobson.  He gives very good guidelines for when and how to discipline your children.  He also offers alternatives to spanking.

You may have to start by finding a way to take only one child at a time to the store until you are better able to control your little ones.  You can leave the store for a few minutes in order to give the children a time out in the car and then go back in to go through the check out.

Another thought is to explain to the children that if they stay with you the entire time you are in the store, INCLUDING the time going through the check out, you will allow each to play one game afterward as long as they walk WITH you to the games afterward.  Then stand firm.  Only let them play the game if they succeed in staying with you.  They are old enough to handle this, I assure you.  And their safety could be a stake here.

Good luck.

Answer 10

My husband does the shopping.

When I take my kid's to the store and they act like that.  I refuse to buy them anything the next time we go, and I take toys away when we get home, and they have to sit in their room on their chair for one minute per year of how old they are.

Like, my son would sit for 7 minutes

My daughter would sit for 4

Then we would talk.

Good luck :) It's very normal!!

Answer 11

Children love praise and stickers :). I know because I have two v cute cousins around the same age. What you could do is create a chart at home for each of them and tell them that for every time they behave in public, or is just really good in general, they get a  sticker added to the chart. Tell them that once they reach... just say 10-20 stickers on their chart, they get a treat. Like... a trip to somewhere they love or a packet of their favorite lollies or something. And tell them for every time they misbehave (like really misbehave) you will take a sticker off. this way, they get the fun in choosing their stickers when they're good and it also teaches them how to behave.

hope this helped!