Is there a way to tell the police about what is going on in an abusive relationship?

Question

I am trying to get out of an abusive relationship but my husband has told me repeatedly that he will lie and make sure that I will never see my kids again. Is there a way for the police to come out to my house after my husband has hurt me (he works nights) and take notes on the stuff he does to me without them wanting to arrest him? I don't want my husband knowing that I spoke to the police because of the repurcussions. I guess I just want evidence so he can't lie and say's he does nothing to me. I don't need lectures on leaving now. This has been hard enough for me to admit I need to leave and the only way I can do it is to make sure my kids will not be taken from me like he says they will be. I am trying to keep my head clear and my thoughts on what my goal is.

Answer 1

PLEASE LEAVE IMMEDIATELY!! Step 1: look in the front pages of your telephone book, and get the number for the "domestic violence hotline". Trained counselors will talk with you and advise you of a shelter where you and your kids can go. Your husband will not be able to find you. Go to the police and tell them everything. Yes, he will be arrested and you will get a restraining order against him. No Judge would award custody of your children to an abusive spouse. You can not be charged with kidnapping, unless he had full legal custody. Please act now, without delay!! Trust me, your life depends on it! You do not want your children to be abused, nor do you want them to grow up thinking that beatings are acceptable. Remember you set the example for them! I have a niece who would not leave her abusive husband. In April, he beat her into unconsciusness and left her for dead. Two days later, she was taken to the hospital and had emergency brain surgery. She will never be normal again---severely brain damaged. Now if this happened to you, what would become of your children? Please leave now. This man does not love you or his kids, and is mentally ill. I am the mother of two daughters. One is a police officer and she deals with this type of crime everyday. She urges you to leave. God bless. Dona G.  P.S. I care. Please let me know how you are!  [e-mail]

Answer 2

It's either you report it and he gets arrested, or you say nothing and things stay the way they are. If you have him arrested, you can get a restraining order place on him. I know you don't want to hear this, but you have to get away from this man.

You may want to go to the hospital for documentation...........that MIGHT help. The hospital has no legal reason to report it. The hospital records will help YOU when it comes time for you to act. At some point, the police will have to get involved. This bully needs to be stopped. Do you REALLY want your children to grow up in a home like this?????

You are the parent. You are married. He can't file charges for kidnapping.

Answer 3

Agreed with the first poster 100%.

We are here to help you. We are protectors and serve the people we were hired look out for. Unless you tell us, we cant help you.

Most states have a law that allows the officers to press charges even if you wont. The reason for this law is women like yourself call us up and beg for help. When we show up and handcuff him for escort, they become scared and start trying to disuede his arrest.

Go to the hospital, take photo's and call the local PD next time! The are plenty of abuse centers located all over the US. You are not alone and you have options! Investigate with this box your typing on right now.

Good luck and God speed!

Answer 4

Mental abuse is a CRIME, so go file a police report at police station (you have to go see one of them police officer at desk, because ti's not emergency and better go see them by you and child) , speak with them everything what you wrote here quiz, than you have to bring that police report to family court for file a temporary order of protection against husband who kept mental abuse you.

But you will need bring proof to police officer, they will believe evidence by their own eyes. You could use tape recorder on cellphone or hidden camera on your home such as web-cam from your computer to record everything, or let your friend hear what your husband said to you (to hurt your feeling) while you call your friend without husband know you are on cell phone.

Or big evidence is your child and your family or friend.

Family court counselor and ACS will speak with your child about what your husband had done to you and child.

(if your child is enough to understand situation)

Marriage counselor, Mental health counselor can help you but police officers are best.

They won't let your husband know when you report against him, They would be happy to hand a copy of tempolary order of protection to his family or at his job like a prank. ( lol..)

Than RUN~!!!! move out of house ASAP before he hurt you again (because most of mental abusive man would end up beating wife and child for contol over again, yes your husband could be danger once he get temporary order of protection. (Family court will warn you this could be happen the next future)

It's a crime if your husband threaten you not see child again, because you still a mother of them, have the right to keep child too, the family court will prefer to give you parental custody than father if you doesn't have drug history, mental problem history.

Good luck.

Answer 5

You should call your local battered women's shelter.  Not only do they have places for you to go to get out of the situations, but they also have resources available to help you PLAN to leave.  They understand that sometimes, you can't just up and leave to situation so they have people there to help you make a plan.  That is such an important thing b/c the more plans you have, the more successful you can be in leaving. They also have counselling available to you. Your local prosecutors office in your county should also have a victims advocate that may be able to point you in the right direction on who you can contact.  

I'm sure it is hard.  Good luck.  

Answer 6

Would you be able to talk to a lawyer?  They can provide the advice and documentation, but maintain your confidentiality.

Good luck to you, and may GOD watch over you and your children.

Answer 7

HES LIEING! Take pictures of yourself get vidoes of the kids saying they know what happens and have them explain if they do know and see what goes on and hide the camera under stuff and get the noise of him abusing you and turn it over to the police. Go to the police instead of having them come to you because the neighbor could tell your husband that he or she saw the police at your house if they were wondering what happend so go to the police yourself with evidence and tell them how he threatens things about your kids if you tell LEAVE!! And if you say stuff about getting a divorce or leaving he may try to kill you so just say you promise and love him and act like everything is ok

Answer 8

Find someone to talk to. I think there is an abuse hotline you can reach with the words END ABUSE. You need to do this very carefully. The most dangerous time for a woman in an abusive situation is when she tries to leave. You need help beyond what the police can offer you, but they may be able to give you the contact numbers for a safe house.  

Answer 9

Honey I'm going to give you two points of view here.......

1st as a cop, and as someone else already said, we're here for YOU!  If he hurts you call the police file a report.  Don't worry about the threats he's made, that's ALL THEY ARE, threats.............I have never seen a father legally take children away from the mother simply because he claims he "could".

Now from a very personal stand point...........one year ago my now ex husband was arrested for felony domestic battery with substantial bodily harm.........it was his first offense because I was so scared, and above all embarrassed about what I was allowing to happen to me at home, I couldn't admit it....I'm a cop for gods sake and all I could think was things like this weren't suppose to happen to me....even several days after he broke my arm I could barely admit it in the report.

Check your area for victim advocates.  They can lead you and support you in MANY ways.  They can offer you safe havens, counselors, and above all they can show you that things like this can happen to anyone and the most important thing to remember is there IS a light at the end of the tunnel.  No one deserves to be abused and yes it can happen to the best of us.  No matter what you choose to do, filing a report against him etc...I HIGHLY suggest seeing an advocate to help you through whatever process you decide to go through.  Stay strong and positive.........there is too much I want to say here but if you have any questions please email me.

I doubt this is in your area but an example of what an advocate/counselor can help you with

http://www.safenest.org/

Answer 10

You are not thinking straight, Sweetie. If you take the kids and leave, he can't get them, can he? If you've nowhere else to go, a women's shelter is a good place. They help women in your situation all the time. The only way he can get your kids is to win full custody in court. He's got buckley's chance of that. Family court judges can smell a liar from a mile away. They see enough of them. He is completely BSing about charging you with kidnapping. You can't kidnap children who you have custody for. Go see a lawyer, Darling.

Answer 11

First off you can not kidnap your own kids. second you need a advocate to help you  get you and your kids into a shelter, it would help me allot if I knew where you were located.you simply leave with your kids, do not look back material stuff can be obtained later. You need to get to safety now  , Your not a failure , we don't see these things coming . There are people out there who will help you and any abuse is serious abuse . police aren't really trained to work with this stuff until it becomes a crime. GET OUT, GET SAFE, the shelter will help you with the rest. I think you can e-mail me , I will find you help in your location ,