Is there any help from other adoptees on here I feel so depressed?

Question

I lost my mother 3 weeks ago and my father died when I was 9. I dont know anything of my birth parents and I'm feeling at the lowest point in my life. I feel so down today and there is nobody I can speak to about this. Is there anyone or anywhere I can go for help?

Answer 1

I'm so sorry.  I know how devastated I was to lose my adoptive father, I still think of him with a tear in my eye - we had far too little time together.

Look up and adoption support group in your area, there are lots around and on the internet, there is support for you whether you choose to search or just want to talk about your feelings without the the judgemental attitudes you may find here!

http://www.adultadoptees.org/forum.

http://www.adoptioncrossroads.org/

Also adoption crossroads has a nightly chat forum

Take care

Answer 2

I know a little bit of how you might be feeling.  I am an only child and was also adopted.  I constantly think about what will happen when my parents die.  I'm not too close with any of my family.  If my parents die, I'll be alone.  It made me sad when I learned several years ago that my birthfamily was huge.  I had 9 aunts and uncles just on my biological mother's side and an older brother.  It makes me sad to think I missed having all that family.  If something happens to my parents, I don't know who I'll go to.  I would suggest you try to find an adoption's counselor or someone that sprecializes in adoption loss.  A lot of other other counselors don't get it.  Most people dont't.

Answer 3

spiritual enrichment could help you

Answer 4

I am very very sorry to hear of your loss. It must be very hard for you right now.

I think you need to confide in someone. A family member maybey, or a councillor. If you are ready to talk then they will be ready to listen. Everyone has there own way of grieving, and sometimes people just dont want to talk. I think Its better to talk, to get it all out. You have to do that sweetie. I am not sure where else you could go for help. If you are from the UK then I guess you could go to the salvation army. They offer alsorts of things. I hope you find a smile soon.

Take care xx

Answer 5

Oh sweetie I'm so sorry. I do know that feeling. I am adopted and both my parents have past. I never felt so alone in my life when my mom past, she was my best friend. I'm not gonna tell you it will get better, but in time it will get easier. I still cry when I think of her, she was a special lady. You just kinda have to be happy for the time you did have with them. For me when I started going to church again helped. It didn't take all the pain away but it did make it easier to cope with. Nothing at this point will take the pain away as it is so fresh., but even easing it helps. If you want to talk email me. You will be in my prayers. Bless you. I wish I could give you a big hug right now.

Answer 6

I'm sorry I don't really know how you feel but I'm adopted too and my current family is so small, only a mom dad who I live with and a step-brother and uncle whom I have never met but apparently are rather mean and hate kids. My parents are old and I'm so afraid of what will happen when they go because I'll be all alone. You should talk to your friends and everyone you trust to help you get through these time.

Answer 7

I'm so sorry for your loss.  So you are an only child?  No sibs to talk to?  What about your friends?  You need to talk to someone even if it is your family doctor.  They can refer you to a grief counselor.  What you are going through is natural.  Whether you know your birthparents or not wouldn't keep you from your grief.  Don't try to hide from it or keep it at bay.  It will keep you messed up until it finally takes hold and you go through it anyway.  Time will make the pain lessen.  It is just the way humans are built.  You need to keep in touch with the world around you.  Isolation is bad for everyone.  Hang in there.

Answer 8

Hi my name is Sarah and I too was adopted. I havent lost my adopted parents, but I can understand why you are feeling the way you do.  Is there anyway that you could try and contact your birth parents? I know when I was adopted it was closed and I couldnt find out any information unless my bith parents submitted a paper saying it was ok to give out there information, and I have to do the same. Thats the only way we would ever be able to contact eachother.  If you ever want to talk im here [e-mail]

Answer 9

i'm SO sorry. don't be afraid to turn to relatives, friends, or anyone. (i don't know how old you are, but don't be afraid to turn to a teacher if you can) if your still in school, talk to the counselor. My friend lost her mom to breast cancer 2 weeks into high school. They have been a huge help for her and I'm sure they can be for you too.

Answer 10

I am so, so sorry.  The 3rd anniversary of my adoptive mom's death is just 2 weeks away.  It's so hard.  And I really understand what it's like to feel like not too many people understand, because you also have the questions only an adopted person could really understand.  

Like others have suggested, please join us at http://www.adultadoptees.org/forum

This forum has given me a place to talk about things that I didn't feel I could discuss elsewhere.  The people are very understanding and don't judge.  You can learn about tools other adopted people have used and go from there.

I'm so sorry about your losses.

Answer 11

My a'dad died late last year and I'm still pretty shattered.  

There are safe places on the internet to talk about these things.  Others have given you some great links.  I just wanted to add that you're welcome to email me via my profile if I can be of any help.

Answer 12

Please join http://www.adultadoptees.org/forum.  I have lost my step father and it very nearly destroyed me.  So I do feel your pain on every level.  Join this group.  They have helped me heal my soul and calm my inner demons.