Is there any repercussions for a father that refuses his child on his scheduled visitation weekends?

Question

What can happen to a father that thinks he can refuse to have his child on his court ordered scheduled visitation weekends? My ex seems to thinks that there’s nothing in our child custody agreement that would lawfully say he has to take him. I beg to differ as it clearly states what weekends he has our son. The custody agreement also states "Each parent shall first seek assistance from the other parent to provide for childcare when needed, and each shall have the first right of refusal prior to seeking another third party to provide said childcare." Since the weekend he refusing our son falls on his weekend he is suppose to ask me first for childcare. Instead he writes me emails saying he "forgoes" his visitation for that weekend, that he has given me enough notice. Like, he is able to refuse him anytime he has plans. I know if I reject him see his son on his schedule days I can be held in contempt of the court order. It should be the same for him, right?

Answer 1

refusing visitation is different then accepting visitation. If he dosnt want his son, then its his loss....if he continues refusing his weekends, then you take him back to court and revise the order....You are best to contact your lawyer.

Answer 2

A father or mother for that matter do not HAVE to take the child on the court mandated visitations.  That court order is actually put there so that the custodial parent is not allowed to keep the non-custodial parent from seeing the child.  Your child's father does not HAVE to give you "enough notice" YOU are the custodial parent and YOU should be prepared to take care of your son all of the time.  If that is a problem for you and your busy schedule then maybe you need to go to court and hand custody over to the chid's father.

Answer 3

I'm not really sure. I've never had this issue with my daughter's father. The only thing I can reccommend is to document everything and NEVER EVER tell your child that their Dad didn't want to see them. Never let your child see you upset with their father. It will only come back to bite you in the butt in the end. I've seen it a million times. Always say he's busy blah blah blah. The most important thing is protecting your child. If your ex is going to be an @$$, you don't want your child around him anyway. I would let it continue for a while and continue documenting the e-mails and then decide whether or not to go back to court for sole custody.

Good Luck.

Answer 4

Stormy S. is flippin' out of her mind. The point of parenting schedules is so the child gets time with both parents and yes so the primary residential parent gets time to recharge. Making sure both parents get time with the child, though, is the main point of visitation.

If there are two parents then the child should see both of them if there are not extenuating circumstances.

I am not sure what the deal is with whether you live in the same town or area or not but I might send and email like this.

Ben:

It seems like there are a lot of times you "forego" visitation with Mitchell. I have documented four times in the last six months in fact. Our court agreement says you are supposed to ASK me first for any times during your parenting time that you need child care and that I get right of first refusal -- not that you can simply forego your time with him.

If you have been busy, I understand. If you have plans on Friday/Saturday nights for example, could you come pick him up on Sunday from say noon until after dinner?  At least then he would get some time with you. Is there another schedule we could negotiate that would mean he would get more time with you? As he gets older, the fact is, he will need more attention and guidance from his father. Mitchell needs both of us and you cannot be replaced no matter where our lives lead us in the years to come.

So...let me know if you can either take Mitchell for perhaps a shorter visit on your weekends or if a different schedule would work better.

Thanks.

Lisa

Answer 5

The main problem here is that you child is going to suffer long term identity issues.

Your best bet is to keep all the documentation of his refusals and keep a journal for atleast one year detailing which days he had the child and which days he was supposed to have the child.  Make note any additional expenses, childcare, cancellation fees, whatever that you may have encountered during those times.

Child custody agreements are hard to change, but if you document this kind of stuff and get an attorney's opinion, you could eventually get full legal and physical custody.

Answer 6

I don't see why you would want your child with someone who doesn't want to be with him. Just ignore the father and raise your child. Take him back to court if you want but that will do little good.

Answer 7

First of all, you need to know the laws in your area.

No, it's not right, and yes he can get in trouble. Document every conversation, every little thing that happens.......You will never regret always having the details. I have a journal that started when my son was 2 and he is 16 now.

If the father does this for a long period of time, at some point you should be able to take it to a judge and have proof and they will take his rights away if he doesn't use them. Now that can take a while

And who's to say you don't forget things. There might come a weekend when he has plans with his son and you 'forgot' and were out of reach???? Hey, it happens.

My answer stems from a long and very ugly battle with a donor.....uh, I mean father, who started letting his little boy sit out on a curb (until past dark.....crying)because he forgot.

Now with that said, doing what is best for the child is not always the easiest though. If there is a chance for him to have a relationship with the father, it should be encouraged. No child should grow up not knowing a parent, even if you don't think they're worth knowing. But it's not your choice if he won't come around.

Good luck to you and your son.

Answer 8

if he refuses to take his son keep the emails and print them for evidence, then go back to court for sole custody, he cant say that he wants his son if all he does is refuse to take him...then u wont have to worry about whether he's going to take him or not