Is there any way I can get my mom to stop doing this?

Question

Whenever she's mad at me, she always goes and complains to my step-dad. Then he goes and yells at me. =/ Then when I ask her who I can go to for help, she says I can go to her. But whenever someone's mad at me and hurts me, it's always her. The last time someone besides her hurt my feelings was in 7th grade, when some boys in my class were teasing me about being from a different country (even though I speak English without an accent...).

I've tried explaining that to her, but she never gets it. And it's not like she's under a lot of stress or something, which is making it so she doesn't have enough time for me. She's always inviting people to our house and making sure they're all loud enough to make me want to go downstairs and yell at them to shut up. I'm pretty sure that arranging that isn't stressful...

Anyways, can someone please help me deal with this?

Answer 1

lol

my mom exactly

can't. you can't.... :((

its suckastic, but it's better to talk about S**t with friends...

Answer 2

I am 43 and a mom to a daughter aged 17. I understand how u feel. I wish ur mom feels and thinks same way i do. The manner parents deals with theirs kids is one of the biggest factors that helps develop a child's character. Unfortunately it seems we differ.

TRY KEEPING A JOURNAL. POUR OUT UR SENTIMENTS BY WRITING UR FEELINGS ON UR JOURNAL, Have courage to write a letter to ur mom telling her how u feel about her treatment on u. And pray a lot that ur letter would touch her heart. Sending her a letter rather than confronting her avoids arguments, accusations and excuses. If she unfortunately doesnt appreciate ur way of expressing ur feelings through letters and confronts you, just say.. "MOM, im sorry, but its how i feel and i knew nothing else that can touch ur heart" Dont forget to say,,, "I love u , mom"

Answer 3

Sounds like your mom is AWOL and possibly even competing with you on some level.

Do the basics just to stay off their radar... pick up after yourself, do your chores, make good grades, stay out of trouble and touch base for the usual "permissions" as needed.

Your mental/emotional support group apparently does not include your parents. Consider getting your parental guidance from among your friends' parents. If things get too loud at your own house, either get some foam earplugs from the hardware store or go study at a friend's house.

Next time you are targeted to be teased/bullied at school, talk to a teacher or guidance counselor... the schools have an imperative to deal with bullies these days since they can be sued.

Answer 4

Honey, where's your dad? can he help? if not maybe you need to seek out a counselor. As for your Mom, keep trying. maybe there are underlying issues there. Keep loving her and know that way deep down she loves you too.  

Answer 5

Wow I can't believe no one has answered you!  I will take a stab at it, you are at a cross roads, your a teenager obviously when you begin puberty and hit those teen years nothing your parents say or do will ever seem to be enough and vise verse!  So the best advice I have for you is make the best of the times you have, enjoy your last few years of childhood to the fullest as you can and be careful, and not reckless.  You parents are human and too human it to error, okay.... don’t take life too seriously and that alone will take the stress off of you from worrying about what mom might do next!  Did you ever think of turning the music or TV up when people come over, don't you have ear phones somewhere darling if not ask for a pair and whenever you hear anything you don't like plug them in and Wa-La tune them right the h**l out!  Also I didn't get to see the first guys remarks before I left my answer, but I failed to mention the bullying issue, yea kids can be cruel and again if you take it all at a grain of salt, not to seriously again most the problem solved.  When you let them get you they win, so practice in tolerance, if it is to the point of harassment you must report it in order for someone to intervene and stop it! We all know school shooting as usually attributed to such actions, so school authorities should take that very very seriously!  Remember I'm reachable if you need more Best of luck to you ok....

Guy

Answer 6

Okay, I know EXACTLY how you feel.  My mother would do the same thing to me when I was a teenager and looking back I guess I have a little advise on what NOT to do in this situation.  My mother and I have always butted heads, and when we did she ran and told my step father (and she usually blew it out of proportion in my terms) who then couldn't wait to give me a tongue lashing.  

I, unfortuantely just began to ignore my mother, which in my teenage mind solved the problem when in reality it created more, distancing me from my mother and my step father who both loved me.

You should tell your mother how you feel, explain to her what it does to you when your step father yells at you for an argument that the two of you have together.  Explain to her (as I wish I had my mother) that the two of you have a special relationship and these miscommunications could cause a wedge in that relationship that can not be mended.  The two of you need to work on communication and your mother needs to understand that, while being open and honest with her husband and keeping their relationship strong is important, so is the relationship with her daughter and this situation is causing you pain and making you rethink being honest and open with her.