Is there any way my husband could get out of a deployment?

Question

I know it sounds ridiculous, but I have been super super depressed lately to the point to where I feel like I am going to die. I feel like there is no point in living anymore, and am just super stressed out about a lot of things. I have a lot of girls that are out to get me for know reason, and was tired of always being stuck in the middle of all of their drama bullcrap, so I finally just stopped talking to them. I wasnt rude about it...just told them I needed to focus on other things like school and my husband. They are of course freaking out, cussing me out, and telling me to be honest and that I just don't have the guts and that Im weird.Now, I don't feel safe being here especially without my husband here.

But, Im just super stressed and depressed over this. My husband volunteered to be deployed because we needed the money. Now, I don't even care..its not important, and I wish he never did it. Im the joke of everyone he works with, and they think Im the one who pushed him off and forced him to go. Which is not the case.

My husband is miserable with his job, and hates going there because of all the immature people who can't keep their mouths shut. It's just not worth anything anymore, and we don't know what to do. I wish he could just get out of the military all together, but he still has around 18 months left of his contract....

Answer 1

I discussed depression with a neurologist a few years ago, and I learned that depression is an illness . Unfortunately, some people seem to use it as a crutch.

Answer 2

First of all, it doesn't sound ridiculous but you need to get treated! Depression is not something to be taken lightly. Go and talk to your PCM and tell them you're depressed. They will of course treat you for it and depending on the severity of your depression, your husband may get called back to take care of you. (plus it's important to have your depression on your medical record if that were to happen) Also, an option would be for him to get out of the Navy altogether on a hardship discharge. It may not be the best of solutions since it won't be easy and it can be hard to transition out of the service anyway but to do it under such conditions would make it even more stressful. Have you talked to your ombudsmen? or even the CO's wife? They're supposed to be a support to you. Do you have a church group that you could turn to for support? Can you go stay with family or a friend until he comes home? All I can say is get yourself some help. It's stressful for you but it's also pretty stressful to your husband who probably feels pretty helpless because there's nothing he can do to help you at this point. God bless you and hang in there! This too shall pass.

Answer 3

it will look VERY bad if he tries to get out of it.   In fact he'll be laughed at even more.  No, your being depressed is not a good enough reason to excuse him from deploying.  you have avenues of assistance.. Military one source is the best one if you are not willing to use the on base  resources.  

I have far worse issues..medical ones..as in I cannot drive, live more than an hour away from all  my medical doctors 30 minutes away from base and there is ZERO public transportation near me.   not once did it even OCCUR to me to ask him to get out of his upcoming deployment in 2 months.  I don't have SINGLE friend or relative here that can help me.  Heck I told him to volunteer for it.  I had ONE stipulation..he has to be back BEFORE our Cruise in September of 2009.  

Answer 4

First off, you need to contact base mental health or go on the Tricare site and find a therapist off base.  You are clearly depressed and possibly suicidal...and this won't simply go away.  Once they have evaluated you and you begin therapy, if they feel it is your best interest to have your spouse stay with you, they can provide documentation to support your husband's request to be allowed to remain behind.  Keep in mind however that this does not mean he will never deploy.  Generally, it means they will let him out of the deployment he is assigned to, but he will have to go out on the next one...and with 18 months left, this could mean having to extend to do the tour (and yes, they can do that regardless of weather he wants it or not).  You need to talk with his command and then your therapist to decide if deferring the deployment with the possibility of having his time in extended is what you want to do.  It may also be time to consider moving back home or in with friends while he deploys.  But you need to get help..both for your own safety and to have the support there you may need to get his orders changed.  Don't wait.

Answer 5

It is important that you seek help for the depression.  The issue of whether or not your husband can get out of deployment is not as important as your getting help.  

Ideally you should coordinate with your PCM.  However, I would also recommend that you contact Military One Source:

http://www.militaryonesource.com or call 1-800-342-9647.  

They can provide you with up to 6 counseling sessions for anonymously (to your command) and for free.  Contact them now!  They are available 24/7.

Additionally, many military bases provide other counseling resources for free, so see what is available and seek help.

I would also recommend that you and your husband consult the Chaplain for his unit.  Chaplains can provide valuable resources and also liaison with health care providers and the Command (if you give him permission to talk to someone else about it; otherwise whatever is told to the chaplain is confidential and privileged) to help you get to the resources needed, and in some (extremely rare) circumstances influence deployment schedules.  

There is no doubt that deployment is a stressful time.  But the deployment is only a part of the issue.  You need help for yourself.  Otherwise, even if your husband isn't deployed, your depression and anxiety could result in more marital difficulties.

Answer 6

Not a prob, crazy.  All he's gotta do is say he's g*y.  Cause he is.

Answer 7

wow girl where are you guys stationed? sounds like h**l LOL....and i thought fort hood was bad i guess i'm lucky. and no he can't get out of his orders. stick your deployment out and keep ur head up like the rest of us army wives!

Answer 8

I didn't read your story but I can tell you the simple answer is no. Well he can get out of deployment and sit his *** in jail. That guy is full of it you can't get out of deployment.

Listen I don't really understand why you are so upset becuse I'm not exactly a counselor but I can tell you your husband will be fine. You should be jumping up and down telling everyone you know that your husband is fighting for this country not depressed about it. Deployment may seperate you but it won't destroy you. There is more deaths in the US due to gang violence than there is in war. Yes that is a true fact. The military is family and he has hundreds of men watching his back at all times he'll be fine mam.

Answer 9

He can get out of it. "Exceptional family members"     just call up his command and tell them you're suicidal.  More than likely they will let him off.