Is there any way out?the path is getting narrow and my mind is killing me?

Question

i crave the days i was able to enjoy food ,i used to eat what i want enjoys the sugar in my mouth and the graces of god ,now if i eat i feel guilty and if i don't i feel hungry so i eat food that i don't like to avoid guilt and hunger and work out and my goal seems to change every day

and i m religious i don't have relations with men .i look skinny and i know guys don't like it ,but this is the only way i can respect myself other ways i will always look at myself with disrespect or think people laugh at my thighs or tummy or bum

even when i eat much *rarely i do *i dont enjoy it i stiff my mouth ,i stopped enjoying food the way i do and i know part of this is up to my people because at stage of my life i became fat and no one stopped saying some advice ,,

now even the advices i listen ,are useless because i dont trust their love and i dont trust they know my best

what do you think i should do?

Answer 1

It sounds very much like you have an eating disorder and these nearly always stem from low self-esteem and the way in which you perceive yourself to be.  Believe me when I say, people are not laughing at your thighs, tummy or bum, you just think they are, and you're right most guys don't like stick thin girls with no shape.

People always blame tv and models for eating disorders but the majority of the time they are caused by friends and family making insensitive remarks which because they insist on repeating them become embedded in our brains.  If only people would stop and think before opening their mouths about how much damage mentally they are doing to the person, problem is most are not intelligent enough to realise this.

It's good that you realise that you have a problem with food and your appearance because it's not until this happens that you will seek help.  Please go to your GP or find out if there are Eating Disorder Groups in your area before it's too late.  Some therapy or a Self-esteem group would be good for you too.  

When I was in hospital with severe depression I was on the same ward as the girls (all young girls between 17 and 25) with Eating Disorders, and there was one girl who was so thin through not eating and over exercising that she was too weak to walk and was in a wheelchair.  Please don't let that be you.

Remember, we are all EQUAL but different, and not one of us is perfect because that doesn't exist we are all IMPERFECT human beings.  Even if you did have a big bum, thighs or tummy it doesn't make you any less EQUAL to the rest of us.  You're still just as worthy of love and respect however you are.  It's unfortunate that it's often not until we get older that we realise these things (I'm 44).  To be honest, it's whats inside that counts, that's what makes a person beautiful hence the age old saying beauty comes from within.............but it is so true.

Recently my nan has commented on my podgy tummy, but all I will do about that is a little bit of yoga.

The only way out is to get help from a professional or eating disorder group.  I know it is hard, but please take that first step.

Answer 2

It sounds like you have an eating disorder, which is a mental illness where your fears/anxieties/issues cause you to not eat properly, which in turn affects your physical health.

It may help to talk to someone about how you're feeling. Your GP should be able to refer you to someone, or you could seek counselling privately or through a voluntary organisation.

Best Wishes

Answer 3

You need to talk to someone asap, whether your parents, a guidance counselor, pastor, whoever you feel will really listen. You need therapy and have a serious problem. Please listen to this advice and do something now.  

Answer 4

Sounds like a disorder.You know God loves you for who you are right?I'll keep you in my prayers.If you can see someone professional for advice I think it would help you become who you want to be