Is there any way that something like this could happen...?

Question

would a 19-yr-old who isnt related to twin babies be able to become their guardian alongside their biological mother?

In my last question or something some people thought my twins were born. sorry that was a mistake, they arent born yet. I'm just over 11 weeks, so not really very near at all.

ok. Basically their biological father is now officially out of the picture, and i'm at the very (and i mean the very beginning)beginning of a relationship that i believe to be a serious one that could last for a very very long time. when my twins are born they wont really have a father and they are going to grow up thinking my *future* boyfriend (the 19y/o) is their father...so what i'm asking is it possible in any way that he could become their guardian? So i'll be there with them as their real mom and he'll be their as their guardian....or something.

i guess it isnt necessary but i was just wondering...

and now the million dollar question question that you'll be asking...how old am i? 15

Answer 1

Do you have parents who are involved?  You are way too young to be figuring all this out alone.  How can you be thinking of a new relationship when you are carrying 2 babies, are 15, need to finish high school and have years til you are an adult? Are you sure you are the best person to raise these babies? Don't you think (I do!) that they deserve 2 ADULT, responsible parents who can provide them with a safe haven, the kind of home a child (yes, you are still a child) cannot?  Honey, do what is best for these babies, not what you think is the most fun for you.  I hope you will get counseling and really think long and hard.  Parenthood is forever. The babies are not puppies.  They deserve everything life can offer and that you, at 15 cannot possibly provide.  Have you looked into adoption?  Or having your own mother have custody so you can be part of their lives but still complete your own childhood?  I think you need to stay away from boys/men for awhile and figure out your own life.  And if you do keep the babies, you need to concentrate 100% on them, and not be dreaming the "what ifs" of a "possible" new relationship.

Answer 2

i think your totally right about all of it but you think you got it bad i'm only 17 and i got 5 kids so you have totally nothing to worry about and did i also tell you that i live in my own house and they don't have there dad with then and i'm doing just fine

Answer 3

Well depends on where your from . Im from Ga and if the dad isnt around isnt going to be around .when ur babys are born he can sign the birth certificate as the dad and just sign a paper saying he takes responsibility. but doing that means he real father axually wont have any rights unless a dna test is done but the one who signes the b.c. still would be the dad.even though dna is diff. and also if ur trying to get child support you couldnt do it that way. but if you wont nothing to do with him or you child  you could just get you bf to sign the b/c saying he was the dad .thats how it would work in ga. ask you local hospital about the b.c and how it works.

Answer 4

wow. yes i believe it is possible - though im not sure. The important thing here is to make sure you and your boyfriend get a good education and good careers. First of all, it is still illegal for your 19yr old BF to be having a sexual relationship with you so You should tell him to go to school and wait till you are 18 before you guys persue that relationship. second - if you are going to remin sexually active after your babies are born GET ON BIRTH CONTROL!!!!! it is easy to do, they have it free at places like planned parenthood. please, please, please get on birth control - having twins is going to be very difficult for you to be successful in life please do not make it harder on yourself.

Answer 5

Before you can do anything the biological father would have to relinquish his rights to the child. First and foremost you need to consider if this is in the best interest of the child. Perhaps you should seek some counseling before you decide anything.

Answer 6

Not sure about California...in Michigan the only thing you could do is have Dad legally sign off and have the boyfriend adopt after you are married.

Your ex is financially responsible...by the way, hon, I hate to be mean, but your 19 year old boyfriend is most likely not going to stick around for the puking and all that...plus babies........sorry...relationships at your age don't last in the best cases.

You need to stop worrying about your love life and focus on the babies.

Good luck sweetie.......

Answer 7

the biological father has to agree to the guardianship or give up all rights to the children my husbands daughters aunt is her guardian he had to go to the town hall court and sign papers over to her for guardianship but he still had legal custody of her  good luck on your new man staying with you it takes a real man to take on the responsibility of someone elses children

Answer 8

wow i congrats you for taking on the babies all on your own, im a mother of two and know how tough it can be. 15 is very young,  and you will have to do a lot of growing up with your babies. i think that you shouldnt worry about a guardian for your babies just yet, they wont know the difference for a very long time. instead wait to see how things work with your boyfriend and down the road if hes really serious he can adopt them. good luck to you and your babies-and dont stop asking questions

Answer 9

He could legally adopt them -ie become their father under the law.  This would not stop you being the "mom", it isn't the same as putting the babies up for adoption.

Also in most states/countries if he marries you then he is deemed to have certain responsibilities in terms of support etc if you split up even though they aren't "his" kids.

You could also probably have him just named a guardian so he could make medical and whatnot decisions when you are not around.  I am not sure how you set this up.

However without knowing where you live and what the individual laws are it is hard to say, particularly as you may be considered a minor under the law (in some places giving birth automatically makes you an adult under the law).  Your best bet is to speak to a lawyer about your options.

Answer 10

hmm... well you'll have a hard time with kids since you're 15, so I'm not sure what laws are in the way of that. The biological father must give up all rights as the father. Only then can the 19 y/o adopt your babies. But, since you're underage everything may have to wait until you're 18+. Sorry not much help. You're too young for babies. I'm sorry that happened to you. Best of Luck!

Answer 11

i know you dont want to hear it.. but i dont think there's any way and unrelated father.. especially when you're only 15 and he's 19 (illegal) is going to b any kind of gaurdian right now.. unless he tells the doctors he's the baby's father and signs the birth certificate.. then thats all it takes. i know you dont care what internet ppl think.. BUT STILL.. my opinion is you dont worry about guys right now.. being a teenage mother is hard enough as it is without you worrying about some relationship that accoding to you.. hasnt even really started yet. You have babies on the way and i think you  have a little growing up to do b4 they get here.

Answer 12

I don't know the answer for sure but I do believe that he can become a father figure.  If it leads to marriage someday then he can adopt them if the biological father doesn't pay child support or he signs over his rights.  

You little sweetie.  I feel for you.  Protect those babies.  There is no more precious gift in the whole universe than a child.  My daughter just turned 13 yesterday.

Good luck and my prayers are with you.

Answer 13

yes i believe if he's an adult then he might well be able to. good luck. i'm not sure whether he could actually adopt them as his official own without their real father's approval but i'm no expert.

also i'm not really sure since you are a minor...

Answer 14

oh Dear!  I would recommend not to jump into a new relationship YET!, you are very young and being pregnant your focus needs to be on your baby (s?)  and in no one else, by your answer I could just tell you seem very confused, with the ex and the future bf , listen...give you sometime for yourself, detox from the past relationship and prioritize your goals in life. Use your pregnancy as a way to know yourself better, to love yourself and to set your goals in life. Forget about new future boyfriends, you don't need the drama of all that now. If you'd just know what are you getting into, but I guess we all learn as we go along ....I wish you luck!!

Answer 15

I'm not sure of the logistics of this situation but personally I wouldn't do it.  You are only 15 and he is not the father of your children.  Yes it may end up that he is the one they know as Dad, but there is also a chance he will not.  I had a handful of true loves from 15-21 when I married, that each one I was sure was the one.  NOT.  Not even my first marriage, I now think 21 is too young to marry.  Looking back, I did so much changing and growing up from 15-25, and I swore at the time I knew it all and was mature enough to deal with this world.  Don't make any decisions at this age except what you are going to do with your twins.  You are too young to drag anyone else into this situation, you will change too many times over the next years, and I don't know any 19 year old boys ready for your situation either, they just aren't.  But good luck to you and your babies, take it day by day and eventually the right thing will happen, but in the meantime they will be depending on you for their care.

Answer 16

You could (but I wouldn't recommend it) have him sign the birth certificate and claim parental rights but as that he's required to take care of them financially and act in every way as a father.  

In the future if he wanted to revoke that a blood test would do it, BUT they are expensive.  I believe around $500.  

I don't think he can adopt them because you are a minor.  Unless you are emancipated from your parents, your parents have a sort of custody over the babies as they do over you until you are an adult.Being their guardian would have the same weight as claiming partial custody of them alongside you.  

It is simpler legally in the long-run to just have him sign the certificate.  Just be aware your stuck with either decision for a long time.

Answer 17

There is a very simple solution. If you are married to this man when you give birth, then LEGALLY the children are his. You wouldn't need to do anything other than be legally married.

Answer 18

Potentially, you could give him a power of attorney which is a legal document giving him authority to do certain things for the children. Also, you could go to court to have him declared a legal guardian.

I personally think you should wait a couple of years to make sure that things are going to work out with your boyfriend before you decide to give him that much power over what happens to your children.

Answer 19

Your babies are far more important that your latest boyfriend.  Only someone living in the land of fairytales would believe you are making a good decision giving anyone else rights over your kids.  Clearly your judgement is impaired if you believe this to be a good course of action.  Firstly, stop thinking about your own sorry love life and put those kids first.  You have to be a mother now, not a girlfriend.  You made an adult  decision that put yourself in this position, so grow up and stop fantasising about the may-be's.  It's time to deal with the reality of the impending birth of real human beings.

Answer 20

yes he can be their father. if the other guy would not like to be in their lives and he just has to give you his premission. then the other guy can either just sign the birth certificate or you can take the bio dad to court and ask him to sign his rights away and then he can adopt him. it just depends on what the bio dad agrees to. good luck.

Answer 21

Im comming right back. Crying baby.

Answer 22

well here's the problem with that....yes, it could work out that way if that's who you choose to sign your babies over to which means he will be fully responsible for the children, however, the problem comes in that you are in a relationship with an adult when you are still a minor so if you have to go to court to sign over guardianship they may very well decide to press charges against him for statutory rape (even if you've never had s*x). The best way to avoid that is have him there when you give birth (if he sticks around he's an outstanding person that's for sure!) and have him sign the birth certificate then he has legal rights to them automatically unless the father decides to cause trouble. Then you really don't have to sign over guardianship and in most states you will be considered an adult at the age of 15 if you have kids. Also, having him sign the birth certificate is pretty much an easy way to adopt the kids and that will hold him legally responsible so if something should ever happen in your relationship with him he still would be able to be the kids "dad". Remember, a father can be a sperm donor, but a dad is someone truly involved with the kids.