Is there anybody on this FORUM who can help me with a LIFE or DEATH situation please ?

Question

I have a friend. She is in a state of turmoil. I need perceptive people

here now. She let this guy move in with her after only 30 days. Things

got worse. She became depressed, and she even started smoking again. This man is evil. He checks her emails, and cell phone numbers, too. They go to the same college, and live in the same apartment home. Her life has not been the same ever since, and we

cannot speak to each other anymore. Due to his controlling behavior,

and threats. The cops were called, but she said nothing. But oh, I

am fine. But we all know that she is not. Are some of you insightful

or intuitive ? What is she feeling right now about her situation ? And

what is going through her mind about our friendship ?

Answer 1

I would let this be known in to as many people as possible. Do her parents know? Siblings?

A girl who went to our church got mixed up with a guy from Africa the same way. He seemed like a wonderful person from the outside observer, but he was very abusive and controlling. It may be a cultural thing, I don't know. I don't want to judge a whole group of people by the actions of one, but there are places where women are considered property.

Can you get to her without his knowing? Like, maybe when he is at work? Maybe you could get several of her friends together and get her away from him long enough to talk sense into her.

I'd start with the relatives and don't give up.

Answer 2

She sounds like she is in danger. Mabey he is blackmailing her. Try to get her alone and talk to her, can her family talk with her? She needs help, just be there for her and keep an eye on her.

Answer 3

Difficult to really know how much of this is exaggerated by your fears and imagination and how much is really true but erring on the side of caution, you need to find an opportunity to talk with this girl without the other guy around. Voice your concerns and offer her an escape route - somewhere to stay for a while - if she needs to get out of the situation in a hurry.

Answer 4

well from what you tell me she sounds like she is in a world of trouble. If you really care about her do whatever it takes to help her out. Have you tried to get in touch with her fam. maybe they can help. If that doesn't work and well you cant do anything more I would say has a last resort get some of her friends and go to her house and talk to her and if you cant talk to her there cuz of that guy being there than take her. Have like an intervention with her I'm sure she understands her situation but she might be in someway threatened by him or something

good luck .

Answer 5

dear death or life

your friend is going through the state a lot of girls go through when that are in a abusive relationship with a guy, she thinks that she loves him and that he will change and that what he does is just showing to her that he 'loves' her, but he doesn't something needs to be done this man is going to get meaner and loose his temper and he may kill her or put her in the hospital and then the police will come in again.

      your friend says that she is ok and fine but really in side her head she's screaming at you to save her from this man to do something about it, i really feel bad for her, you need to help her any way you can if he leaves a mark on her go to the police follow him one day and see if he sells drugs take pictures for proof and go to the police. you are close to her you know what he is doing isn't right but now you got to find out what that thing is.

    true-love-waits

Answer 6

There is probably more going on here than even you know about. Not that I'm defending your ex or her bf. this is a problem. a real problem (as im sure u realize. she probably thinks she really loves this man.

Answer 7

You are not Lancelot - you can not save her.  Distance yourself from this mess and move on.