Is there anything I can do to help my depressed girlfriend?

Question

Would you be mad at your boyfriend if he didn't make love with you if you've been together for 5 years? My girlfriend and I have been together for 5 years and she thinks I'm not interested in her. She also thinks that I don't find her beautiful. I am interested in her and thinks she is the most beautiful and sweetest girl in the whole world. I'm very much fallen in love with her. I will want to marry her someday. I hold her hand, kiss her, caress her back while making out, tell her sweet things, cuddle with her, and hold her. She's the only girl I want. There's no way that I would ever cheat on her. I love her too much for her to get hurt. I don't want to make love ever because it seems perverted. She's getting depressed that I don't want to make love with her but I'm pretty much fallen in love with her and have strong feelings for her. How do I make her feel better?

Answer 1

I don't understand what you mean about 'making love' being perverted?! It is the most beautiful thing that two people can share. It sounds to me like you love her as a friend, not a girlfriend. Or if you are determined to keep your virginity until you get married, then thats okay! But make sure that you express that to her. Talk to her about why you don't want to have s*x. If your reasoning is simply, because it's perverted, then I can see why she is getting depressed about it. Maybe there are some hidden issues somewhere that can help you uncover why you find s*x so perverted. But please talk to your girlfriend about your feelings.  

Answer 2

You make it sound as though you never are going to make love to her.  If that is the case I completely understand her.  If you want to wait until you are married then you are going to have to learn to talk to her and let her know your feelings.  That you care about her and that you have every intention of being with her when the time is right for both of you and let her know that you don't even think of anyone but her.  However if you think s*x is perverted then you are still going to have a problem.

Answer 3

eh...

Answer 4

READ THE ORIGINAL POST CAREFULLY!!!

He clearly says, "I don't want to make love ever because it seems perverted."  All you people who responded with, "Ohhh, that's so sweet, you want to wait until marriage...just keep telling her you love her and that she's beautiful" -- yeh, that's not gonna work.  Why do you never want to have s*x with her (or any other girl, I assume)?  If it's because you're scared or feel insecure, go see a psychologist.  If you think it'll be painful or you have some other problem with your "anatomy", go see a doctor.  If you are not interested in s*x with females and find the idea revolting, ask yourself if you really love this girl as a potential wife or just a really really good friend?  Do you find the idea of s*x or intimacy with another guy revolting or somewhat okay?

Answer 5

Are you g*y?  There is nothing perverted about making love to a woman.  She will find someone else if you are not fullfilling her needs.  I wish you both the best of luck.

Answer 6

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Answer 7

If she is actually going through a clinical depression she needs medical help, someone to talk to about you, your relationship, and things going on in her life.  Also, if the act of being intimate grosses you out you do realize if she wants a family it will have to happen eventually.  Give it a try, let loose, make her happy, do whatever it takes to get you in the mood.  

Answer 8

Awwee you such  a sweet guy. Your the 1st person I heard that is so sweet to a girl.

Ok, every day when you grete her say hi beautiful, and when you leave say bye beautiful. You can still hold her hand kiss her and cuddle with her  (i  wish my bf can do that).

Since you think its kinda perverted to go more intimate, just tell her that you afraid to do it because you think its perverted or your shy about it. try to make her understand. make sure you hold her while saying this so the connection remains.

hope this helps.

Answer 9

5 years is a long time to be with someone and not have s*x, why do you think its perverted.  YOu might never cheat on her but she is probably really sexually deprived and may end up cheating on you!

Or you could buy her a vibrator!!!!  

Answer 10

You should probably see a counselor about why you feel making love is perverted.

If it's maybe just because you don't like it, then you need to explain to your gf that s*x isn't for you, and it's going to be up to her whether she stays with you or not. s*x is important to some people in relationships and you don't want your gf to be unhappy because she feels unfulfilled.

Don't ever feel like you're forced to have s*x though, because you should never feel like you have to.  

Answer 11

s*x isn't perverted! it's not like you're taking advantage of her.Maybe her way of feeling loved and the only way IS having s*x with her. I know ever since I have been pregnant,if my boyfriend and I don't have s*x for a few days to a week I start to wonder,maybe she thinks if you aren't having s*x with her that she isn't the one you really want to be with,that you're saving yourself for the right one?.Tell her what you're really thinking and maybe you two can agree on something,let her know how beautiful you really think she is,and how you DO want to marry her someday.

Answer 12

If this is a serious question (and I'm always suspicious when people's Q&A s are private) then is it because of a religious reason?  If you don't want to have s*x before you're married - then fine.  Explain this and hopefully she loves you enough adn respects you enough to get this.

If you have a problem with s*x itself, that's more of a problem that may need therapy.  If you are planning on marrying this girl, are you planning on having a family?  Without being insulting, I presume you know how this works right?

Good luck to you,

Answer 13

tell her all that stuff u said about how u love her, a girl loves to be loved!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Answer 14

the question I have is why is s*x perverted??  Go see a counselor together so you guys can work through this.

Answer 15

s*x seals the deal. it progresses the relationship, makes it better. its how you show you love each other through touch.

Answer 16

How do you make it better? HAVE s*x WITH THE GIRL!

how is it perverted if it is between two people that love each other?

Answer 17

Aww, that's so sweet!  Well, first of all, remind her that she is the most beautiful, sweet woman in the entire world, and you only have eyes for her.  If she still believes you don't like her, maybe tell her that you love her?  If you have already, it can't hurt to say it again.  And if you didn't, tell her soon, lover boy, or else you'll be saying good bye to your lady.

Answer 18

Well, guys like you very few. Let me shake your hand. Talk to her about what you feel. Tell her that you love her so much that giving that step would change things between you two and that is what you are trying to avoid. Sometimes is hard to believe b/c of the society we live in, but it is a very nice gesture of you. Making love of course is not perverted, that is something natural that two people who love each other do. pervert is when you do it as a hobby or just with anybody, just to have pleasure, for example people who like and do porno. But your situation is different. You Iove her and she loves you so there is nothing bad. You need to change your mentality about it.  

Answer 19

I'd be depressed to if my husband wouldn't make love to me, or thought it perverted. Please seek counselling.