Is there ever a perfect time to have a baby?

Question

I have been so broody for a couple of years now it's unbelievable. My boyfriend feels the same way but wants to wait as he feels its not the perfect time. Financially i'd have to agree, but he wants to wait til his parents will be ok with it and he's got a better car as well as a better job and absolutely no money issues, big or small.

Personally i think that if you wait for the perfect time, it'll never happen. Life in general throws up many obstacles.

What do you think? If you have kids, how old were you and did you think it was the perfect time?

Just so you know, am not going to do anything stupid like come off the pill. This is a purely hypothetical question.

Thanks.

Answer 1

Financial stability and independence + loving and stable partner + Good mental & physical state = you are ready to have a baby no matter the month.

Answer 2

I would say in your mid 20.  Make sure you have Medical aid or something to help pay for the birth because that can be expensive.  Mine wasn't planned but I love my little guy and would not have it any other way.  We have our money worries and aren't as stable as we would have wanted but we are managing.  If you wait for the perfect time it will never come.  There will always be an excuse and eventually it will be too late.  I preferred to be young enough to still be able to play with my kid and run after him in the park etc.

Answer 3

Well there's both perfect and non-perfect times...Obviously people who plan children and have them, have their children at ' The Perfect Time ' where as like myself i fell pregnant at 17 and had my daughter at 18 which wasn't at all the perfect time as me and my partner who had ben together for 4 years had no savings and where still very young...I'm a believer of everything happens for a reason so i took it all on and now i look at it as the ' Perfect Time ' i wouldn't take anything back and if i could go back then id do it all the same way again!!

Its not up to your boyfriends parents to tell you when you can and cant have children so if you and your partner are both ready go for it!! Its the most AMAZING experience you will ever have!

:D  

Answer 4

Married would be better with a home and security for your child. The rest doesn't really matter and will fall into place. Finances can always be a problem with something else around the corner but he will get a little tax relief with a child along with other benefits to assist.

Answer 5

There is never a perfect time to have a baby. Its important to have the obvious things like a house, a partner that also wants a baby - that kind of stuff. But money ... There is never enough, there is always something that comes up, you pay off one thing then another one comes in!

I found out i was pregnant just after my 20th birthday, my partner and i had a house and were both working full time but we were worried about money,but you just manage somehow, you get everything you need as you go, there are always people to help out and you just manage!

Im now 25 and expecting my third child, my partner and i got married last year and we now have a mortgage, we have everything we need and a holiday every year but money is always a struggle but we are very happy!

Go for it, there is never a PERFECT time!!!

Answer 6

well im the perfect person to answer this question ... me and my girl decided to have kids ... no accidents ... and we were by no means money ready ... but when u want your babies and u kno for sure u want them you will make it trust me i have 2 kids had my first when i was 20... do what you gotta do ... do u think people back back back in the day was worried about financial problems ahahahah i dont think so .. and your right on the money with that "itll never happen" line.... if you want em have em ....but just kno that its is a responsibilty and in order to succeed u have to be grown in your mind ok... cuz kids need all of you ... as far as your boy lol maybe he just dont want em and is usin his mom and his car as an excuse.. good luck  

Answer 7

I do not think there is a perfect time to have a baby. If i had waited till i had no money issues i would still be waiting, and the way the economy is going i would be waiting a long time. I was 25 when i had my baby (now 26), i worried through pregnancy wondering how you cope with less money, how parents and friends would react, but we do it and cope with it. We just cut back on luxuries, going out, clothes, cut back on food bills etc. As long as your car fits a baby seat and is reliable then its good. Family and friends will always be happy for you and always buy things for baby. Although my partners mum was not happy at being a nanna at 50, she soon changed her mind once he was born. Coming off the pill isn't a stupid thing, if you are ready, you will never regret it. As long as you love and provide what baby needs then your good to go.

Answer 8

i totally agree there will never be a perfect time financially asyou never know what could happen you could be ok with money for say 6 months so you get pregnant then something happens and all of a sudden money is lost from somewhere i beleive that you should always do what is right for you and your partner if its only money stopping you like i said you never know what is going to happen.

also why should he be scared of what his parents think its his life with you!!!!

Answer 9

I think if people waited for the picture perfect time we would all be childless.. there really is no perfect time. The perfect time is when your ready to be a parent. Which involves a lot. If there are some things that can change in the next year or two change them, it gives you something to work towards., you want to know you can feed your child and provide clothes, healthcare, and food.. the love will come no matter where you are in life but the less stress you have the better it can be. I think you and your boyfriend make very valid points and need to meet in the middle so that its best for the child.

I was 21 when i got pregnant and I had twins, we were by far financially ready to have kids and as much as i wanted them i realized waiting was the best thing to do. But life took it into its own hands and i got pregnant. We were super excited, just as excited as if we had planned it.  We made a lot of changes and have come a very far way. My twins are now 3 years old and my husband has since graduated college and still attending. I attended for 2 years but am since pregnant with our 3rd child and have a lot on my plate so im waiting to return. When there is a will there is a way but i know a lot of people who struggle to survive because they thought it would be easy.. if you dont sacrifice more than you will ever imagine, you will get nowhere. It takes a lot to make it in this day and age.. why not try to make sure you can assure you will be okay and then have children, if your young.. a few years and a stable job and house will help a ton..  

Answer 10

If you wait for the "perfect time," it will never happen. I was 21 when I had my first child. I found out the morning I was leaving for Navy basic training (SURPRISE!). Obviously, NOT the perfect time. But I've made it through, and some of those times have been financially trying, and others have been emotionally trying. Regardless, a mother and father devoted to their child will persevere, whether the times are good or bad, smooth or rough.

Answer 11

they say april is the month for beautiful and smart babys.

i was born in april and i got into on of the best high schools and am going to graduate soon

i have a ccomplished more than my friends and they wernet born in april.

i read many magazines stating that april is the perfect month for a baby

good luck on the baby!!!

Answer 12

I agree completely. If you try to plan around stuff like that it'll never happen.

I'm 21 and i had my son when i was 19. I didn't have much money, but it's a myth that children are expensive, they really aren't.

Talk it through again with him, and tell him that there will never be a 'right' time, and that you'd like to start now. As long as the two of you are happy who cares what anyone else thinks.

Answer 13

yes there is.

when you want it more than anything, when you would give up everything for it, knowing you will work hard to get it back to give it to that child.

having a baby not married with a man that doesn't want it now and uses every excuse in the book is not the right time.

I will tell you this, it's almost impossible to do it single, broke and no car.

I give those parents a whole lot of credit. It's hard enough as it is and you don't want to be resenting ANYONE and have a child to take care of, the child you have to feed, the ex who did this to you and now won't help...

Yes there is MORE perfect than other times, what you stated seems least perfect of all.

Answer 14

I am sort of in the same situation as you are. Except my husband wants to have a child as well. We own a home now, and have a new car. Although we still don't have TONS of money. He is in the military, so it is pretty stable. Are obstacle though is that he will be getting out in less than two years, but of course only if he has another job lined up. Im still working on school, but Im also not rushing it.

We both feel ready now, and even though everything might not be perfect we feel as if we wait any longer we are going to be waiting too long. Like, I don't think I can wait another 5 or 6 years for that matter. It's hard for me to just wait a few months!

So, I think that you should wait a little while longer. Like, I would say a few months, and see how you feel then. Remember that even when you get pregnant you still have 9 more months! So, you are looking at at least another year until you have a baby. I know a girl who is only 18 with two kids, and she is doing just fine.

So, think about how much better off you will be than her. I think a baby should fit right in...it's not like getting a dog or something. Its another human being.

But, do what your heart tells you to do...

Answer 15

ya.NOT WHEN UR OTHER TEENAGE DAUGHTER IS GOING THROUGH PUBERTY.cuz guess wat...i m the teenage daughter!!!

Answer 16

Your boyfriend is doing the right thing. He just want to make the best for this future baby. He wants to be financialy ready so he could be ready for anything bad/good that happens

Answer 17

I had my kids at 19, 21, 23. I don't know what the perfect time is.

My brother and his wife had their's at the same ages of 30 and 32 - they are financially secure and able to do just about anything with their kids.

I think being financially secure is a bonus, but then again you have a good point that waiting may mean it will never happen.

I really think I was too young. That marriage ended in divorce, we grew apart as we grew up.

25 or older would be my choice. Seems to me your attitudes in life would be pretty much set by that age and you'd know what you wanted out of life and be smart in your choices.

Answer 18

ya i wouldn't wait for the perfect time, my sister in law keeps falling for that line from my brother and their both in their 30's own a house have a car and both making mad money bro getting paid 35 a hr and sis is making around 20. Their life still isn't perfect even with the income.

I was young the first time i got pregnant (18) but lost that child i was 21 with my first live birth and 23 for my youngest.

Our life is far from perfect but were a good family allot of love and were healthy (were done having kids now my old man getting a vasectomy sep 12 -- if he chickens out ill do it for him when he falls asleep)

babies are expensive usually around $20 for diapors (15 when thier on sale) last usually around a week but can last longer or shorter, 80 for a week. formula if you dont or cant breast feed is another 80.

children are so worth it though, when your both physically, and mentally stable, let alone at least employed

Answer 19

Hi, i would say the perfect time would be when your in a good steady relationship, both want a baby, feel ready to cope with pregnancy, a good home to offer and financially stable. But...you are right life does throw up many obstacles and something always seems to pop up when things start to look better. I was 16 when i first fell pregnant and no it wasn't planned. I then had my 2nd when i was 18 and now am 20 and 33 weeks with my 3rd. None where planned. But me and my partner are very happy, kids are great, and we have made it work. Hasn't been easy but things do get easier. Things are also very different for different people. Hope i helped x

Answer 20

I don't think that there is a perfect time. My husband and I waited until we were 31 and 34. We'd been waiting for everything to be perfect and it just never came, we felt that we had to get on with it or it would never happen. A stable relationship is important (but you don't have to wait 12 years like we did) and financial stability would be nice although we're coping ok.