Is there ever a polite way to ask your friend to leave?

Question

We've been friends for over 12 yrs now. But she still gets pretty ticked at me if I actually ask her to leave when we are hanging out. And its not like I'm asking this at 3 in the afternoon, try 11pm at night when I'm tired and ready for bed.

So if we are hanging out, do you think there are any polite ways to say I'm done hanging out for today?

Answer 1

Well, I am about to call it a night so I guess we can do this again pretty soon. Have a goodnight and call or text me when you're home safe.

Answer 2

"What are your plans for tomorrow? Sounds busy. Perhaps I should let you get going, get some rest for tommorrow. "

Answer 3

My flatmates used to just get up and say goodnight and go to bed. Then their friends might stay a bit longer and watch tv then they would split. i hate it when people outstay their welcome. I think three or four hours does it then people should leave cos you still have your washing or whatever to do and get ready for the next day and life just doesnt stop cos they are there.

Answer 4

You really don't have to be that 'nice' about it.  If she is a true friend you can say, 'Hey, we had a great time...but I am bushed....see you again soon....I gotta get some rest.'

Straight forward and honest.

If she gets ticked, tell her you are sorry but you expect better than that from her.  Friends don't let friends go without sleep.

Answer 5

maybe she dosent like what she is going home to.

if he/she does this constantly then i would try to get to the root of the problem

Answer 6

I share a very small place with my sister. I have the living room and she has the only bedroom, which is small as well. The kitchen, dining area and the living room are all open to each other. So, when I go to bed, she has to stop using the kitchen and dining area.

So, what I've started doing is giving her the 1/2 hour warning. Or, if she's really involved in a project at the dining table, the 1 hour warning. This means I'll say, "Okay, 1/2 hour warning, I'm going to bed at 11:30" This way, she has time to finish whatever she's doing or move it to her room, get a snack or whatever. At the 15 minute mark, I'll give ther the fifteen minute warning.

You can try this with your friend. Just start giving her the 1 hour or 1/2 hour warning. And follow-up on it. Let her know you are going to bed in half and hour and she'll have to leave by then.

Answer 7

It sounds like you're trying to be nice about it.  If they're getting ticked at you then that's not very comfortable for you to have to deal with.  Especially from a friend of 12 years.  Just tell them that it makes you feel bad when they get ticked and you don't expect that reaction from a long term friendship.

I'm sure they'll understand.

Answer 8

Just say, "it's getting late and I need to get to bed, have to get up tomorrow morning.  You're going to have to go home now but call me tomorrow, ok?"  There's no good way to stop her from getting ticked because she obviously doesn't know when enough is enough.

Answer 9

If this is a genuine friend. you can tell this person anything.. it only matters how you say it.. I have been friends with my best friends for 36 years and if I tell her something or if she tells me.. ''Sorry today is not a good day for calling can we make that another time''' I don't even ask questions.. because I know something must be wrong with her father or her sister.. so I will hang up the phone... .it only matters how it's said... not at all what you say. and if you tell the truth and say...'x*x I'm sorry but I really got something important to do now and besides, I am tired do you mind..  can  you go home now and we meet again in 2 days..? '' well I would not be offended by that... and I definitely would not hang about until late evening but you need to say this.. in a tactful way.. but the other person can't guess.. so just tell your friend... and if that friend gets '' ticked'' it's not a  very good friend. unless you say '' vaboom, or p. off... x*x