Is there reconciliation after separation when husband abruptly leaves the state for a high school girlfriend?

Question

My husband (early 40s), in a matter of a couple months, started communicating with a high school sweetheart several states away (cell phone and IM), left the family (wife of 18 years and 2 daughters, middle and elementary school), is starting a new job and a new life with said girlfriend. He's had one visit to see her during this time, but spent countless hours on the phone and computer. His first month communicating to her was 2700 text messages excluding the time talking. He carries on like nothing is going on and what is worse is that he was devoted to his daughters, did numerous activities with them, and now says "they'll be alright, upset for a little while, but they'll be ok." From day 1 of discovery, I told him I didn't want a divorce, but he put things into high gear. Now he is several states away (since last week) and I still love the man. I have told him that I am devastated. Any feedback from anyone in my shoes (or his)?

Answer 1

I am starting in sort of the same direction. But slowly reolizing it takes two. And one of the hardest parts is being afraid. My husband it spending tons of time on the computer and deleting all the information. I am afraid. but if he let me like that i would give him the divorce not because you want to but because if you two work it out you are always going to wonder if/ when he will leave again or if he is still seeing her or anyone else. it is going to be really hard girl but you also have those children to think about. he sounds like an *** to just up and do that to your children. If you have the divorce someday they will understand that it wasnt your fault. ( i come from a divorced family). and i am glad now that my mom got the divorce.  

Answer 2

Why are you still hoping for reconciliation? He not only moved on but started a new life. Ok let's just say in a few months things don't work out with him and what's her face, are you gonna want him after that? I would never want to see his face again cuz everytime I would look at him I would think this MFer left me high and dry for someone else and now he's back cuz it did not work out. Sounds like ur self esteem is low (I hope that's not the case).