Is there something I can give my 9 yr old boy to help him not be nervous?

Question

My son has cried and cried since the first day of school. He says that he is nervous. He gets so nervous it makes him throw up and have a stomache ache. He is not in a new school. He knows eveyone in his class because he has been with them since Kindergarden. He knows his teacher. There are 5th graders that go to the same school with him so I was afraid that maybe someone was picking on him but he says no. He is best friend with most of the 5th graders anyway. He is taller than most kids in his class so they probably don't pick on him. I can't keep going to school with him everyday because he is nervous. I feel so bad for him! He has already started in on crying and being nervous today (sunday) and he does not even have to go to school until Monday. What can I do?

Answer 1

tell himmm to suck it up.. if u treat him like a 2 year old and feel bad for him, he's never gonna get over it. tell him that he has to face school and everyone else.

Answer 2

Give him confidence.

But no, he will grow out of it in time

Answer 3

It sounds like something is going on at school. More than likely there is something holding him back from telling you. I would talk to his teacher to see if he/she has seen anything that could have caused this. If he continues to be nervous like this maybe taking him to a councelor would be best. As for a medication I do not recomend any.

Answer 4

Wait a minute, 9 years old is fourth grade.  He needs to go to counseling.  It is not normal behavior for a 9 year old boy to cry like that.  I feel that he may be a victim of some kind of abuse or trauma.  Please consult with at least the school counselor and seek professional help for him.  Something has happened in that boys life to suck away his self-confidence.

Answer 5

Do something about this NOW or this poor kid will end up on anti-depressants by the time he's in middle school...and doctors will be more than happy to prescribe them.  Anxiety issues will plague him for the rest of his life if you don't deal with them now.  Kids are resilient and he can get over this easier now than if he got help at 16 or 25.

He could have a genetic predisposition to being high-strung...but that alone rarely causes this type of behavior in such a young kid.  Something must have triggered it.  Not pointing fingers at you by any means, as it could have been something completely out of your control that caused it.  It could have been a single incident (even between them and some other child or some other adult).  Get him in therapy with someone who specializes in children.  Do this ASAP. Find the source and help him deal with it.  He needs to develop coping skills.

Answer 6

I would recommend scheduling a conference with the teacher.  There may be something going on at school that he may be embarrassed to talk to you about.  Further, his teacher can give you a different perspective on the situation.  Remember - you two are a team to help him succeed...that's what his teacher is there for!  He/she may even have expert training dealing with behaviors like this.  As far as you....as a young student, experienced the same things.  I would make myself sick because I was so nervous about going to school.  I'm not sure if you're religious, but, my mother gave me a little guardian angel pin to put in my backpack to comfort me.  We prayed together each morning, and the pin really made me more secure...a couple of months into the school year, and I was fine.  If you're not religious, I recommend going through the same process but with a different symbol.  Maybe put a picture or special coin in his bag.  Before school, talk to him - tell him how strong he is and know he can handle the situation (even point out certain things he has overcome to emphasize his strength).  Then, reassure him that you love him and if he feels nervous while he's at school, he can just take a peek at the "goodie" in his bag and know that he will be fine because of his loving, supportive family.  All parents can do is be supportive of their children.  He has the strength inside of him, it may just take some time for him to discover it.  Good Luck!

Answer 7

find out what has changed

but it sure sounds like he is being bullied or abused is some fashion

Answer 8

Unless there is an actual medical or mental problem which your doctor can treat there is not much you can "give" him that would be safe. I agree this is something that would be better handled by a counselor.  other than reassuring him that you understand he is not having an easy time of it right now and attempting to discuss why this year is such and issue, only a professional might help. Some kids go through this after something has changed in their lives, even a divorce can cause kids to behave in this manner, because something is different than other kids and from the last year. The key will be to get to the actual reason causing the emotional out breaks, for this you need a professional.  

Answer 9

he has social anxiety ..its real it disables him from functioning ..get counsiling its not shyness its more

Answer 10

Talk to your pediatrician and get a referral for a councilor.  That is what i had to do with my 6 year old who is heading to kindergarten this year.  He too throws up at the thought but since he started counseling a few months ago and is on a medicine to help him with the anxiety he is now very excited to start school in a few days and has been doing better socially other places as well.  Not saying it will require medication but the councilor can give you ideas to help you help him before it gets worse.  I had to be home-schooled sometimes just because my anxiety was to the point where I would be throwing up at school and couldn't function.  

Answer 11

I was the same way when I was little. Does he cry because he doesn't want to leave you? Or does he cry because he doesn't like school? If he cries because he doesn't want to leave you then that is separation anxiety do fix that you have to reassure him that you will be back and that Mommy needs to go to work and wants to go out with her friends too. And if he cries because he doesn't want to go to school then you  should probably notify the principal or his teacher to keep an eye on him to watch if he is getting bullied. That is probably the most common reason for a child of his age to not want to go to class.

Good Luck and I hope I was of some help!

Answer 12

Just talk to him and maybe put a picture of you two or something like that in his notebook or something. Also, when I was in school there was a friend of mine that had a note on a napkin in his lunch everyday from his mom, and I thought that was really sweet. Maybe try that.

Answer 13

You should definitely talk to his teacher to see if there is anything going on or if she notices anything weird. Tell her the situation and see if she has any advice. I'm sure she has dealt with things like this before. If she's not sure make sure you talk to somebody there like a guidance councilor or principle. Somebody there will know what to do.

Answer 14

quit babying him

Answer 15

I have a 4 year old that just started preschool. He is so shy and he was so nervous and told me every day all summer how he did not want to go to school, he hated it (even though he had never been there), etc. He was terrified. What I did was give him a reason to want to go and behave and be ok. I told him if he went to school and did not cry and calm down that when he got out, the first thing we would do is go pick out a toy and go home and make cupcakes! It worked..he has been fine and loves school. Maybe you just need to entice him with something so he can get his mind off his fear and while in school he can be anxiously awaiting whatever you promise to do with him or whatever. good luck!

Answer 16

He's displaying sign of anxiety.   He needs to figure out what about school he's "nervous" about and try to change thoughts about it by being exposed and seeing that his fears are unrealistic.  

Answer 17

Something you can give him?  Like medication?  No

It sounds like he might benefit from seeing a therapist

Answer 18

Tell him you are sorry he is nervous but it is time for him to be a big boy now and stop the crying.Tell him he will get to see his friends at school and they will have fun again like they did last year and maybe more.Have him call a few of his friends and see if any are in his class.They can tell him"see you tomorrow".

Answer 19

I would talk to his teacher.  Maybe something is going on that he is embarrassed to tell you about.

Is this the first school year that this has happened?  Could he have separation anxiety?  I would discuss this with his doctor.

Until you can pin point a cause I would suggest reassuring your son that he will be fine while at school and you love him.

Good Luck.  I know it is very difficult to be so worried about your child and feel helpless.  I am sure you will get this figured out and your son will do fine.