Is there something wrong in a life i thought was pretty awesome?

Question

i used to think i had a pretty awesome life, i have friends family im not poor and i travel alot. but just recently someone in my family died and a really close friend moved away. and two days ago i found out that that friend never thought i was that good of a friend, and now that someone told me that ive started to wonder do any of my friends think im a good friend? im not a lier or a cheater, but im still not that amazing of a person. what if they hate me.. and now ive been avoiding them because im so paranoid. i know most people have it worse then me, but i just cant help being stressed by this stuff. because of all this c**p in my head ive been eating less and less. my moms gotten worried latley, but she doesnt really do anything to help me. latley ive just lost the want or need to eat, im just not hungry. i can go a few days without eating. its just not a main priority to me anymore. can anyone help me outt? do i even have a problem? whats going on with me?

Answer 1

It's normal to feel dizzy if the room you are in suddenly tilts all weird and crazy on you (people go to carnivals and actually pay others to experience that, weird.)

You've had the equivalent of being strapped into a tilt a whirl without your knowing about it, and the ride suddenly taking off, 0-60 in 3.2 seconds. Perfectly normal to feel that way.

People base their identity, and thus a sense of stability, on things they can trust. When life occurs and upsets that, its natural for people to feel lost and wonder what and who they can 'trust'. The fact that you don't think of yourself as an amazing person, and thus someone who someone else might want to hang around, could either be because you think poorly of yourself inside or because its just a temporary thing, like a really smart person getting a B or a C on a test. If all they have ever gotten are A's, that B or C could shake up their confidence pretty hard, making them wonder just how smart they really are. Does one test mean you're not smart, no, just like one friend not being your friend doesn't mean you aren't amazing or that everybody hates you now.

Think of it this way too: the more you have invested your idea of who you are in something, the more fragile you become when your identity gets shaken. Someone who gets A's in everything, but also plays sports or has alot of hobbies or loves going out, isn't going ot have as hard a time getting a B or a C as someone who has no social life, doesn't have any hobbies, and does nothing but study and read all day. That B or C attacks the only identity they have, and they will worry about it more than the first person, who sees themselves as being someone who is much more than just a person who gets A's.

Your life has been tilted a little bit, but it could be that its a test to see how stable you really are. The more stable you are, the more you are able to ride out the rough patches in life, and there will be ROUGH patches, without any real harm.

If you can, tell your mom you've been bummed lately and let her know thats why you aren't eating. If she's like a normal mom, she will still try and get you to eat (depression also lowers taste sensitivity, which is partly why you lose the need to eat) but letting her know whats going on, and talking with some of your friends about the 'crazy' thoughts you've been having, will relieve some of the pressure that you are having by trying to do this all by yourself and figure stuff out that you may not be able to (how many people can reason well in a crisis?) After that, go out with your friends and find soemthing fun to do. The more fun you have with the friends you do have, the less time you will have to worry about whether or not people hate you, and the more you will feel like people are there because they want to be with you, cause they like being around you. This should be enough to help get you past what you are going through.

Remember, more fun, less worry.

Answer 2

You need to feel loved.  If you don't then you'll either hate yourself, or others, or both.  Maybe there is some group of people out there who really love other people.  I don't know.

Answer 3

I've been in a similar situation.  First thing you have to do is force yourself to eat something.  It doesn't have to be a lot but you should eat breakfast, lunch, and supper.  My family used to tell me that I eat like a bird.  I didn't like food.  I could go for a while without eating.  But then I'd start to get dizzy and I was too weak to do much.  I didn't have an eating disorder but I was pretty close to it.  

As for the friend, my best friend of 15 years told me that I wasn't a true friend.  I had no idea why.  None of my other friends thought that.  Even the ones I wasn't really close with.  I asked her why she thought that.  For a year she told me that she was lonely and that's why.  Then she told me she was jealous of my friendship with my other friends.  I still don't know if that's the real reason.  Don't let that affect your other friendships.  Your friend doesn't sound like much of a friend to you.  Just remember that everyone is different.  Hang out with your friends because you guys get along.  If you are worried that your friends don't really like you as a friend then try doing more things with them.  Friends make time for friends.

Answer 4

That's emotions coming into play. These friends are questioning themselves and others just as you are. You aren't being singled out here darling, because every single person on this earth has emotional strife, despite how great their physical life is.