Is there still hope for us in the future. I want you to really read this, to get the backround information. ?

Question

sorry if its long, i want you to get the backround information to really understand.

I was in eighth grade and I was at a basketball game with my best friend, Hannah. We were sitting behind all the junior and seniors, trying to be cool when Hannah is like isn't that boy hot, although he wasnt hot, he wasnt ugly either. shes like look at his boxers, those are so s**y. For the next ten minutes we debated weather or not it was his boxers or a undershirt. For the next few months I acted like i had a crush on this boy, although he was about four years older then me. Midway through summer when I was at my grandparents house, my friend Hannah myspaced me saying that Rick (the guy at the basketball game with the "boxers.") had a girlfriend. I wrote her back pretending to be sad, although both of us knew it was a joke.

I didnt really think much of it until i became a freshman and he was a senior. when i saw him in the hallway i would always be like hey ricky, just to get a laugh about it. later I found a note on my locker asking from Ricky asking me to homecoming. I just thought it was a joke his friends were playing on me. I blew it off. He started messaging me on myspace, then we started talking, and i developed a crush on him. A few months into my freshman year we started dating. I loved him, and now about two years later I still think I do.

He was turing 18 and he said that there was to big of a age difference for him. (I just turned 14.) It was also hard for us to hang out becasue of my mom did not approve. I spent about one amazing month with him. And those are some of my funnest days. we never fought or anything, it really did seem like the perfect realtionship. He siad that he hoped we'd last for a long time.

after we broke he cut off all communication with me. blocked me on aim, purpousally took a differnt route in the school then what he would normally take, and didnt respond to my calls or messages. I was very hurt, I felt horrible, and for a while I was very angry at myself. We broke up in December, and in June I decided to start dating again, I got a new boyfriend, Wade. Wade was only a little younger then Ricky. Although me and Wade were together longer, I didnt feel like I loved him. We ended up breaking up after about two months. I still felt attached to Ricky throughout the realtionship, and I still loved him. It didnt take me long to get over Wade. After me and Wade broke up, Ricky messaged me saying that he was sorry, and that he now knows that cutting off communitcation was mean, and he felt bad. Of course I forgave him. After that converstation we didnt talk much. he would occastionally message me or I would message him, asking how each other were doing. Nothing to serious though.

it seemed like every time i forgot about him, he would remind me that hes there, by showing up at some place I would be. I recently just saw him at a party, it was awkward at first but then we started talking. It was the first time we talked in person sience the break up. I really still do miss him.

I think about him a lot. and i was just wondering what you gusy think? does all of this mean something? like that 2 years after we've broken up and i still feel the same way as i did when we were going out, even stronger feelings for him. do you think theres hope for us? or have i just wasted two years of my life? I just think its wierd that all of that happened, before i even knew anything about him. like at the basketball game and stuff.

please tell me what you think?

Answer 1

You should probably move on and just wait to see what happens after you graduate. If it was meant to happen it will. Sounds like he wants to remain friends with you, which is fine, but do NOT allow him to take advantage of you if he is dating other girls. You don't want to become his "in-between" girl.

The other thing that he actually should be commended on is the fact that now that he is 18 (and a legal adult), anything intimate that may happen between the two of you would be considered statutory rape. Your mother could have him arrested if she really wanted to.

Just go with the flow and don't limit yourself to "waiting" for him. Hang out with other kids in your age bracket (girls and guys) for now, but keep things on the friendship side with Ricky if he really seems sincere. You probably know him well enough to know if he is being sincere about wanting to remain friendly with you.

You sound like you have a very good head on your shoulders and it is good that you asked for other opinions! Give yourself a pat on the back!

Answer 2

Wow..that's tough.  Well, here's what I think.  I think that you are quite young to be dating an 18-year-old.  He is probably going through a lot more changes than you are as far as puberty goes.  He will soon, if he hasn't already, be having s*x and I highly discourage you from doing this. As far as the relationship goes, although it sounds like you care about him a lot, he may not.  He doesn't sound like he's very interested except that he was sorry for what he did.  I think you should move on and try to date guys more around your age, as in under 18.  If not, there's nothing wrong with being by yourself.

Sometimes, when there is a gap in the relationship, people change. And so even if you were together again with him, things may not be the same again.  How you guys clicked before may not be there anymore especially when he's at the age where he'll be experiencing new things like new school/college. Take this time for yourself to grow without him and move on. Let these feelings pass by and try to be friends with him if you really care for him...good luck

Answer 3

you know whats really weird? im with a guy called ricky and he is SIX years older than me. and its REALLY not a problem. people think it is but its not. at all. we get along great. hes fantastic. i think the age difference is nothing. but as for you being together long term... im not sure. everyone has their special boy. mine was this guy called gareth and he was 1 year older than me and my first kiss. n i still have feelngs for him  that i think will never go away. but its just those bonding feelings cos they were the first of something. in your case, first love. i think you will move away in diff directions and you will meet someone else whos just as great but those feelings will always be there cos of your experiance. i say move on girl. we all have our special man. yours is ricky. mine is gareth. it seems unlikely you two will re-unite hey.

sorry love.

but you can find someone just as great. good luck xx

Answer 4

let it go he will call when he needs some on the side f or life.

Answer 5

i couldnt say if there is hope of a future. but you know, someone sometimes just gets in there for good.  (in your heart, i mean)  i wish i understood it.   a bond that's like 'family' you know?  i dont know.  i dont know what im saying.  good luck

Answer 6

How much time has gone by since the break-up?  Are you still 14 and he is 18??  Honestly I think you should try to date guys more your own age, for now.  You are too young at this point to be dating an 18 year old.  He will begin to get interested in college (may possibly move away), partying and s*x.  You may love him but give it time, a long long time, like 4 years.  Right now Ricky could get into alot of trouble with the law by dating you.

Answer 7

I definitely think there's hope for you two!

especially because you feel so strongly for him and not wade!!

I really think you should pursure him; I really think you've found someone special.

Answer 8

So, I'm guessing that he is now 20 and you're 16?  With this in mind I still think he's a little old for you because you are both at different stages of your lives.  In another 5 years time this age gap won't be a problem.  I think you need to give other guys a chance and not compare them to the boxer shorts guy - you might then actually get a chance to love them.