Is there such a thing as being too nice?

Question

I hear this quite a bit, "so-and-so is too nice". Why exactly is it a bad thing to be genuinely nice to others?

Answer 1

hmm not to sure i tried to be nice to girls because i hear allot of them say they just want a nice guy LIE they want a bad boy ive tried being nice, my friend said that i should get a motorbike he said girls like it but I'm far to scared to get on one what if i crashed? but i had a plan i did the next best thing i got myself a bike helmet and its working just as well went into a bar the other day put my helmet on the bar the girl next to me started talking to me all because she thought i had a bike, one thing lead to another and she said she wanted me to take her for a ride, at this moment i panicked but then i got an idea i took her outside to an empty car park space and said my bike had been stolen, i should have watched the news to see if any houses had be burnt down that day so i could say my house had been burnt down and then made she would take pitty on me and i would get some pitty s*x.

Answer 2

Well ever heard the adage of too much of a good thing?

Some folks over do it in a variety of ways.

There can be two extremes, folks who find too much fault in others, folks who find too much fault in themselves, and folks with both, but so too as a double double edged sword, being try hard, as totally overbearing, totally over the top, too much, too intense and too gushing, its the excess of passion that deforms the soul?

As a close friend Nat, I see none of these qualities in you, you are a really beautiful person, I temper in myself a sense of high achievement and frustration to balance, humour, ironically its our sense of humour that reveals our soul the way eyes do, to show hurt, to cut to the chase, its more keen to rule in the hearts and minds of folks than have control over their finances?

When we see what beauty you bring to yahoo answers Nat, there is a kind of been there before in youth I see in you where I failed in life, its very much old bull young bull syndrome? Sometimes the qualities we seek are as much a part of as apart of parental guidance, we rebell, we seek and we find, we ask and we answer but do you know what I find most attractive about you Nat?

An incredibly insatiable thirst to learn to be a part not apart from but with society as a sense of thriving as vital, a sense of decency and hope great hope in loving kindness caring and dedication to those you love? Promise me you never loose these qualities but cherish those you love and create harmony by enjoying peace and learning to let go that when bread is cast upon water it truly returns days later, patience is a virtue of great hope but if it was not meant to be fatalism in not being pro active nor creating your own future is not an excuse for laziness I especially have had in my life as weakness.

Your Aussie mate, Phil

Answer 3

Maybe being "too nice" isn't being genuinely nice. I'm not sure what everyone means by "too nice," but IMO, when a person works really hard to be nice and to help you or do things for you, it's because the person wants something in return - maybe more than you want to give.

There's the idea that you have to be a friend to have friends. Some people have trouble making friends and they will just overwhelm you with niceness and help to get your friendship. Friendship is built on more than niceness - mutual attraction and interests have a lot to do with it.

Another thing too-nice people do is submerge their will, interests, desires to yours. They want you to decide what to do that day, etc. Harmless, but at some point, not too appealing, because they never let you know them, because they're always trying to mold themselves to you.

Being very nice to someone also creates obligations, and some people deliberately do favors and so on so they can call in favors when they want to. They can get demanding and nasty when you don't want to do as they ask. "After all I've done for you..." kind of thing.

There is of course nothing wrong with being nice, with being helpful. But you want to be sure the person wants it. You want to be responsive to cues that say you're coming on too strong.

Answer 4

Yes, I think there is such a thing as being "too nice".

It isn't a bad thing to be genuinely nice to others, not at all. But the odd expression "too nice" refers, I think, to someone who is nice in a sickly sweet kind of way which seems calculated for effect, and insincere. It isn't niceness at all then really, it's manipulation, and it makes people feel very uncomfortable.

I think another irritating facet of a "too nice" person is that they seem to have no real tangible qualities of their own, because everything about them mirrors you ... your favourite movie is their favourite movie,  your opinion on some current affair is theirs, their interests and ideas are all too familiar to you because you know they are in fact your own being parrotted back at you by this person desperate to impress you. Although imitation is regarded as the sincerest form of flattery, when it's overdone, it can be very draining, frustrating, and irritating. It seems to me that this kind of imitation creates a barrier to really knowing the other person, because the boundaries between the real essence of them, and the persona they want you to believe in, become blurred. In this way, their desire to please you really is "too nice" because it compromises their integrity - most unappealing, and so unnecessary ... most of us warm better to a nice flawed human being anyway!

Answer 5

It's not bad to be nice, but it's not good to be a doormat either. Some people will see your niceness as a weakness and take advantage of you. Sometimes, for your own good, you gotta be an a$$hole.

Answer 6

because it makes you a doormat and people use you.

Answer 7

its great to be nice but if the person your being nice to is stepping all over you then its time to turn it up a notch also you might get the title of goody two shoes thats not too good but dont try to change yourself there is always peple that like a nice girl (who doesnt!) and peple that dont like it u have to defend yourself hope this helps

Answer 8

A person can be nice and not a door mat.  It's all in the personality.  You get more flys with honey then you do with vinegar.

Answer 9

There is when you get to the point where people are taking advantage of you, because you are "too nice" to say no.

Sometimes you just have to get a bit of mongrel into you.

Answer 10

You don't won't  to be used by other people