Is this Flirting or Friendship?

Question

I just recently found out my GF had this guy om my space on her friend list. She told me they're coworkers;he works different shifts, but works overtime on her shift once in a while. What i didnt know is that she replied to his myspace comments with sweety comments and images of a heart, teddy bear, etc.

I logged in to her page and then look at her replied comments on his page.

some of the comments were "I'm not coming in tonight to work, dont miss me so much" or "hope you feel better sweetie, I'll be thinking about you, take care cuz I care".

Of coursed, I confronted her and she said they were just nonsense comments that did not mean anything, althought she admitted they talk as just as friends.

I told her that friends are not called sweeties, but she insisted there's nothing going on and that she doesnt even like him "like that". I asked her what would she do if she were on my shoes; she said she would be mad too and understood why i was reacting like this. I didnt talk to her for 2 days.. I'd asked her for space. The problem is that we have 2 kids together, and somewhere deep inside me I still have some love left for her, I mean, We've been together for 8 yrs. Anyway, i went to her mom's house to pick up my kids and her on the third day we splitted. I guess my question is, what would it take to gain her trust again? How will I know whether she is cheating or not? what upsets me is that she was flirting to him, i dont mind if she has guy friends, but her comments were beyond friendship. now, it's been 5 days, and everytime i think about it, i wonder if i made a mistake of taking her back so soon and if i should had allowed more time to let her know that i was serious about this (she was the one that asked me to come over to pick her up). Oh, by the way, she admitted the reason she sent messages back to him was beacuse he posted comments to her saying she was beautiful and asked me why i never compliment her.... i thought to myself, if 8 years aint enough for her to show her i care, then what else i gotta do for her to be happy in this relationship, i dont go out or drink, my life is just pretty much to my family and work.

Answer 1

"Hope you feel better sweetie, I'll be thinking about you, take care cuz I care".

That's terrible if she wrote that. You have already told her that you found those comments unacceptable and she agreed with you. Just keep your eyes on her, that's all. And another thing, make sure you go up to this guy who keeps being sweet on her and tell him nicely to keep his distance.  

Answer 2

I am sick of people getting worried about people their partners talk to on myspace! Oh my gosh if your that worried about it get it clear with your partner. We cannot tell you because how are we supposed to figure out if she is flirting if your telling us how you see it? Of course your going to make it sound like she's flirting, even if you don't want to. You do it subconsciously.

Answer 3

I do not think that she loves/likes him that way. You should follow your gut feeling, but I don't think she's cheating. What's a little flirting? Girls do it all the time. That doesn't mean that she doesn't love you. Talk to her about it, and tell her that you love her so much, that it worries you that you might lose her. Don't respond with anger, because you don't want to be seperated when you have kids. That's really tough on the kids. The truth is: girls want to be reassured that their boyfriend/husband loves them. Show her that you love her once every day. Either by sending her flowers, or kissing her on the lips before she goes off to work, and say, "I love you".  Once you have talked to your girlfriend about the situation, and you two have figured it out/made up, maybe you could go to the guy that's been sending her those notes. Don't get angry, because he will probably tell your girlfriend, and she will be mad, since he's her friend. Say, "I love my girlfriend very much. I don't compliment her, because I belive that 8 years is 1 million compliments in itself. I love her, and I really don't want to lose her. Please stop sending her love notes/telling her she is beautiful." Be nice and polite, but speak your mind.

I'm really sorry that this happened to you, and I hope that this helps. Good luck!!