Is this Ludicrous?

Question

Is it totally Inappropiate to ask people to attend a baby shower if you are adopting? What if you are planning on taking in two children at the same time? It would not just be for the two girls to get some new stuff, and the help it would give to my husband and I. But also because having never been a mother before, I want the shower kind of for myself a little too. Is this rude or wrong? Am I being selfish?

Answer 1

Baby showers are appropriate when adopting.

Answer 2

i dont think its wrong. you are adding child to your life, kids need things. just because you are not giving birth doesnt make them any less yours.

have a shower and enjoy.

best wishes to you and your growing family

Answer 3

Go have a baby shower it's a fantastic idea you may be intrested to know alot of parents who are adopting children and babies hold baby showers.

Enjoy and have fun with your new children.

Answer 4

It would be rude for you to throw your own shower, but someone should offer. I think it's just fine as long as someone else is throwing it. Congrats!

Answer 5

no, showers are for first time mom's.  and that's you.  and two at once is not any different than someone having twins.  my friend threw us a wonderful baby shower when we adopted our little girl.  and the best part was she got to attend and see all the love our family and friend's have for her.  i think there's nothing wrong with it, especially if you want to experience it partly for yourself.  why shouldn't you?  you're becoming a mother and that's a wonderful thing to celebrate!  congrats!

Answer 6

No adoption baby showers are perfectly ok.Go for it!

Answer 7

Adopting is a totaly legit way to become a mother. You deserve a baby shower just like a pregnant mother does! I would just be absolutely sure the adoption is going to go through (because I know they can fall through sometimes). It isn't selfish or rude at all! Have fun at your shower!!!

Answer 8

i wanted a shower when i adopted my son. my friend had it all planned and then it turned out the baby was born on the day of the shower and i went to the hospital to be with him instead. The kind of weird thing was that, I know who she invited and a lot of them didn't give me presents when the baby came home and I don't quite know what they did with the presents or what they were planning to have given me at the shower. I just couldn't help realizing that. Anyway, I wanted a shower and I know that people felt uncomfortable with the whole thing because -- what if the adoption falls through, or whatever but -- I thought that could have been up to me and i had admitted that i wanted a shower so, why not? Good luck with the adoption!!

Answer 9

One of the most joyful days of my life was the day our friends hosted a baby shower for us, about two months after we announced we'd been approved as adoptive parents.  It was the same as any other baby shower, full of rattles and onesies and teddy bears, except that another two years passed before there was a baby in the family to use them.  Yes, if someone wants to host a shower for you, accept with pleasure.

Answer 10

Instead of a baby shower you have an adoption party.  You plan sort of the same way but, a little different.  You have to remember these little ones are new to you and your family and friends.  What a wonderful way to welcome them and, give you and your husband the support and extra things you might need.  It is a wonderful thing.  And a new beginning for your whole family.

Answer 11

Sure you can have a baby shower when you are adopting but I thought someone was supposed to throw it for you.  Here is a site on Adoption baby showers. Good Luck and Congratulations!

Answer 12

Not at all, just get a neighbor or someone at work to give you one. I think an adoption defiantly rates a shower and congratulations.

Answer 13

lt's definately not!  You have the same right as any other parent to celebrate the arrival of your new children into your family.  As you said, you're a first time mom, and this is so exciting for you, of course you want your friends and family to celebrate right along with you.  You are not being rude, wrong or selfish, you are being a mom!  l get so angry when children in families are treated differently (l have 1 adopted child, 2 more fostered, plus 3 bio kids), luckily my family are great, but not everyone's is.  And remember, if anybody thinks it's innapropriate, they don't have to attend, they do have a choice.  l'm sure you'll find most people will love to though.  Congratulations on your new babies, l wish you a lifetime of happiness!

Answer 14

If you are that much in need of attention then I am not so sure you should be adopting children.  That is not an easy task in case you haven't figured it out.  Usually a shower is given by your friends or relatives not by yourself.  That makes you sound greedy.  I wish you every happiness because you have got a long road ahead of you.

Answer 15

No, it is not.  I am a future adoptive mom and I know that many families in the adoption world have "baby showers".  They should not be spared the joy of celebrating their children arriving into their families, just because they are not arriving by traditional means.

Go for it!

Answer 16

you should have one, a shower is to help with things needed for the new arrival and you will be getting 2 new arrivals and the are little and still need things so i feel it is ok and i am sure you aren't the selfish type to be taking in these girls and will be giving the all you love that is far from selfish well i am still wishing you luck and keep us updated have you on the watch list because i am praying you your hubby and these girls have a wonderful life as a family

Answer 17

No i think welcoming a child into your home whether it be the "traditional" way or via adoption is great and deserves a celebration.  That is what a shower is after all-- a celebration of becoming a parent.  You should do it for sure!!

Answer 18

no go for it, many people would love to come and meet your new children, and welcome them. congrats

Answer 19

We adopted our son four years ago, when he was 2. Instead of a shower, some friends helped me plan and pay for a big party in the park where everyone could meet our new son. We invited close friends and family members and their children. It was great! We had pizza, soda, and cake for everyone -- it looked kind of like a birthday party. Our son loved Finding Nemo so we had Nemo balloons and decorations and the kids just played on the swings and slides and with the ice that the sodas were resting in.  :)  Most people brought gifts and it was a fantastic day. I don't see anything wrong with throwing a party yourselves -- this is something to celebrate! It would be great if you had some help though...a party like this can be quite an undertaking.

Answer 20

Adoption showers are very common place. Nearly all of the adoptive families I know (and there are many) have had baby showers. My mom's church lasdies even gave her a "Grandmothers" shower for my adoptive daughter.

Just because these girls didn't come from your genetic material does not mean their arrival to your family is any less cause cor celebration.

Have the shower and enjoy it!

Answer 21

Have a shower! You're celebrating having a new child in your home! Showers aren't because someone is pregnant they are because your having a baby (and because they are expensive little creatures). You just happen to be getting your baby from 'The Baby Store' and not the stork. ('The Baby Store' is where I told my son I got him)

Enjoy your party, your gifts and your new addition!!!

Answer 22

No it is not wrong, but it is wrong to throw your own shower.  I think it would be better accepted if someone threw a shower for you and your new daughters.  

When we adopted we threw a party in honor of our new son.  We sent out announcements and then invited friends and family to a celebration in honor of the addition to our family.  But we said in the cards to let their support and attendance be their only gift (but many still brought gifts)!

Answer 23

you CANNOT throw your own baby shower- its tacky

talk some friend or relative into throwing one for you