Is this a Granny Luc Bat answer?

Question

I used Granny's rhyme sequence words to create this answer!

A One-sided Affair, Answered!

women it can be said,

live large as if they really know,

money makes it all go

and to do this hubbies must thrive.

teasing does help them strive

tempt and tantalize very well

and they will battle h**l.

a smile, perfume and nightie show

the man will grovel low

while waiting you must show a cry

let him love, sound a sigh.

show to him the twin sight of those

to keep him in his throes.

for of all the tools these are friends

and always make amends

A lady dear needs money bliss

all it takes…tickly kiss.

trained well he works but for a chance

to exercise… his lance.

whatever jewels you wish be

let him think liberty

to get ahead take him abed!

Answer 1

Le bat or not i think this is a fine poem. My only Obs. should

"whatever jewels you wish be" should that be "your"?

Answer 2

Thanks, Spytfyr - it saves me telling him.

This is excellent, though, and probably equally as difficult to achieve as a Luc Bat from scratch.

I loved...but for a chance/to exercise.....his lance!!!! It was an accidental use of words, but I decided not to change it.

Isn't poetry fun..I love it!

Answer 3

This is a perfect response!  I love the way the poets take a classical form and insert a modern theme.  I am printing out both of these Luc Bats and keeping them on my bulletin board.

Answer 4

I thought Chaucer was dead!  but lo he's back for another tail!

Answer 5

It's a bitter bill to swallow...

Answer 6

The poem is great.   I really enjoy response poems and it is impressive how you used her end rhymes to create the response.  I hate to tell you that the rhyme scheme is not completely correct.  The 6th syllable of each 8 syllable line is supposed to rhyme with the last word in the line above it.  Then, the last word in line below the 8 syllable line rhymes with the last word in the 8 syllable line.   Still a very good poem though.

Here is the rhyme scheme if you are interested.

6* * * * * a

8* * * * * a * b

6* * * * * b

8* * * * * b * c

6* * * * * c

8* * * * * c * d

6* * * * * d

8* * * * * d * a