Is this a double standard? pls explain?

Question

I am refering to the Bisexual label

I am g*y, and I have pretty much always known deep down that I was g*y.

However during my "confusion" period, I had a girlfriend for three years, and I had straight s*x often.

Many people think that when straight guys who experiment, or are with a guy, that they are then bisexual, because they have been with both. And as a result will always be viewed as bisexual, because they have slept with a man, even thou they perfer women now.

So why isn't the same thing true with g*y men? I know I am not bisexual, but Ive been with women. Does that not seem like a double standard?

Answer 1

You probably were not straight but are homosexual. You were just confused before.  

Answer 2

It doesn't matter who you slept with, but what you are feeling in your heart. Sure you may have slept with both but that doesn't mean you are bisexual. It's a false statement for either gender.

Let's say I skydive once. That doesn't mean I'm a "dare devil". I may not have liked it and won't do it again. Dare devils do these things regularly because they get a thrill out of it. Same concept applies to sexuality (especially the THRILL part) LOL

Answer 3

I agree with you.  You have found your sexual identity, and it is as a homosexual.  Who are these people telling you you're bi?  They're wrong, so pay them no heed.

Edit for Keele T: The link to your question is not good anymore; apparently, it has been deleted.

Answer 4

I think that it's just because it's less likely for a straight man to "experiment" with men, than for a g*y guy to do so with women.

I also don't think that he'd necessarily be labeled bi-sexual automatically, but the straight guy would always be under a cloud of suspicion, if anyone knew, whereas no one would really question whether you are g*y or bi having been with both.

Ultimately, I believe that identity is the bottom line.  If a man sleeps with men, but doesn't claim to be g*y, I think it's possible he's delusional, but who am I to tell him how to identify?  I guess what you've described is a bit of a double standard, but, considering US cultural gender roles, it "makes sense" (insofar as it can be plausibly reasoned).

Answer 5

I wouldn't consider it a double standard as it is just a stereotypical society view of how g*y men can be perceived.  

Answer 6

I didn't think that it was true with any orientation. Like, chicks can experiment in college all they want and still come out straight in the end - and if they tell people what they did they pretty much  just get labeled "Kinky".

As far as I know, men who experiment in college or whatever just get labeled as "more open to suggestion" which could be taken as kinky too, I guess.

Though most straight guys I know would be scared to death to even try, even if they were curious.  

Answer 7

I don't know

http://answers.yahoo.com/question/index?...

Answer 8

Not really. I don't think so at least.

Answer 9

No its not. If you know you g*y then you g*y point blank I used to think i was bi but realized ain't no girl interest me what so ever so I finally labeled myself g*y. But as for the guys experimenting part that's normal its even in medical manuals, psychology books,  boys go through a natural phase of homosexual testing just to see if they are g*y or straight. So that won't label them as g*y unless they are completely willing to go with a a man or woman.

So point blank no. Just cause you've gone out with women it doesn't mean you bi its only bi if you have feelings towards both men or women.

Answer 10

I too had a period of time when I tried to live a straight life before I came out. I have never considered myself as bi because in the end I am totally g*y.  To be honest with you, I think the number of people who are actually bi is very low. I think most "bi" men are actually just as g*y as I am but they think it's less wrong if they can say they have been with women sexually.  I think it's best to be true to yourself and just admit that it's really okay to be attracted to men exclusively.  Eventually the attitudes of people will make it easier to admit it, I hope!  So, no I don't think it's a double standard. I think people lie and try to make themselves seem different.

Answer 11

Sexual orientation is not just about s*x.

It is also about an emotional attraction to one gender or the other.

It is quite possible for a g*y guy to experiment with a woman and still be g*y- many of us have. And a straight guy can try it with a guy and still be straight. Many have.

That is because there is no emotional component- it is just a purely mechanical sexual act.

If you have zero desire to be with women now, you are g*y, even though you may have experimented in the past.