Is this a good first paragraph for a novel?

Question

Wherever he came from, it certainly wasn’t Earth. Far enough he looked human, if you walked passed him in the street you wouldn’t look twice. His appearance was like any other young lad. He was a tall, confident man with normal features and chocolate brown hair in the common spiky style. His sports jacket, demin jeans and dark T-shirt allowed him to blend in with the crowds. But inside, he had mythical secrets which were out of this world. He was an extremely intelligent but lost individual.

Answer 1

YES!

It does have 'something' because it makes you wonder, and ask yourself the question:

   "What Comes Next?'

See my blogspost about Successful Writing at:

http://hpshappywriting.blogspot.com/2008...

If you want to know more about writing your Novel or about how to make it a 'Best Seller' you can also have a look at my latests posts about Novel writing and about 7 Tips to write a Bestseller at:

http://hpshappywriting.blogspot.com/

Hope you like it,

All the Best,

To your Happy - Writing - Inspiration,

HP

P.S. Don't be a 'Stranger' (or alien for that matter :)) and feel free to leave comments on blogposts.

Answer 2

I like it, but not for the opening of a book.

Answer 3

As one writer to another, I like it. It's interesting, keeps me wanting to read more. Keep it up!!

Answer 4

It sounds really interesting. only thing i would say is change the young lad" bit as you say "man" straight after. which would it be???

Answer 5

It sounds more like the middle of a paragraph and backwards. Describe the character first, surroundings etc and then mention as you did about not from Earth etc.

I find it best to use Microsoft Word because it will under line phrases thats not good grammer, incorrect words, etc which gives you the option to changing to what you want. Believe me we all do that.

Keep trying!!

Answer 6

I like it as a paragraph, although there are a few things I would change... for example, denim jeans is repeating itself and lad isn't as relatable as man is for a general audience.  I don't think it's a good first paragraph, however.  The first line, while interesting, could be a lot more grabbing and is a bit cliched.  Most people in fiction stories tend to be not from earth/ something else, and if you open with that, many readers will feel the sensation of "here we go again."  The most famous opening lines of all time are strange, to be sure.  Here is a link to the top 100 opening lines of books: http://www.infoplease.com/ipea/A0934311....  This is what you are aiming for.  They are varied, but they pull the reader in.  For example, Moby d**k begins with "call me Ishmael."  No reader can go on without wanting to know who Ishmael is.  I know the question has haunted me ever since I heard that line (I haven't got around to reading the rest of the book yet).  All in all, your paragraph is good, but you need a stronger opening in order for this to work.  Also, if you could make him, whoever he is, NOT the perfect guy, it would be a lot more interesting for everyone.  Instead of thinking Edward Cullen, please think Eustace Scrubb.  Eustace is a flawed character in a lot of ways, but he becomes better towards the end.  He is multi-dimensional.  To put it simply, he is real, and that is another thing you should aim for with all your strength.

Good luck.  If you need any more help, feel free to message me: klelos123 on AIM, or you can email me through yahoo, though that will take much longer.

Answer 7

It's good, but what does 'far enough' mean? If it's slang, take it out.

Answer 8

sounds more like a character synopsis