Is this a good poem? ?

Question

Adrenaline rushing,

my heart racing

Overwhelmed by fear,

I cannot breathe

I cry out for help,

but no one hears

I take my last breath,

I say one last prayer

For now my fate has been foretold,

my soul forever doomed

Answer 1

yes that poem is amazing! it really sounds like it came from your heart and that is all that matters in poetry

people please answer this question no one has answered this yet!!!

http://answers.yahoo.com/question/index;...

Answer 2

the poem is okay but needs some work.

Answer 3

I don't like how you break up every other line when you really shouldn't. Instead try making only two stanzas or just make it one. But you have something interesting here, so keep it up!

Answer 4

it's kinda emotional. don't say it's doomed forever... becuz usually in tough situtations it gets better as you keep on walking

Answer 5

I am really feeling this poem. I can get so many meanings out of it. Sounds like you are about to kill someone or commit  suicide. If this is for a contest you should enter it. I love it. Well done. True Poet.

Answer 6

its good but its very depressing and a little scary. try writing about something more happy. your very good at poetry but you should  change your topic.

Answer 7

I think it's too short, and I don't like the last line

Answer 8

wow...

i don't think anyone who read this fully understood it...

it's so simple but yet complex.

this is extremely deep in emotion but not too detailed to the point where it's unrealistic. i love it. i think no matter what everyone can relate to something in their life.

again, wow.

i love it.

Answer 9

no it's bad, and predictable, you're young it will get better with age

Answer 10

I don't like the

For now my fate has been foretold,

my soul forever doomed

at the end.. but otherwise I think it's good.

Answer 11

all except the last two lines, which i think is lame, other than that GOOD WORK

Answer 12

To be honest, I lIke poems that rhyme. I know they don't have to, but this poem would be much better if you add some rhyming words into it. It has good structure, good imagination. Just a little bit more work.

Answer 13

not bad  

however  one line says you cant breath

next line  says you take one last breath

poems of course don't have to rhyme

but the order of the verses  should  stay in tact

keep working  you ll get it

besides   it can be wrong  cause you wrote it  right

creating is a process

life is a journey not a destination

Answer 14

It is

=)

Answer 15

it sounds like one thats been used forever

Answer 16

Sounds like a freaky poem or one that is part of a nightmare.  Poetry is fun sometimes.  This poem though does not ryme, but it is a great poem over all. :-)

Answer 17

this poem is better than good you can tell you really felt what you were writing about most people say write from your heart but you wrote from your soul which is deeper,more personal and makes a great writer.  

Answer 18

Yea! It Cool! Write bout some thing happy, like kids playing at the park or sumthn.

Answer 19

It's not a bad poem...

I just didnt really feel the emotion... seems dry.

But I tend to enjoy more descriptive poems.. so I can put myself in the writers shoes.

Answer 20

combine two phrases into one so it becomes:

adrenaline rushing, my heart racing

overwhelmed by fear, i cannot breathe... and so on. it'll flow better. its a great poem though, really makes me feel what ur saying. its written with a lot of passion and thought

Answer 21

The first stanza: Excitement

The second stanza: Fear

The third stanza: Desperation

The fourth stanza: Impending death

The fifth stanza:Lack of hope and condemnation

To be honest... I felt like I've read this poem before from some teen who feels like they're misunderstood. If your going to write a poem with such a cliched theme, you should strive to make it different or unique in some type of way.        

Not that all poems are happy but this one has bad themes with no reasonable explanation. You should try to explain the sadness or bring it out in a different way. Just stating it doesn't do much

I'm sorry if this is harsh, but I know that if I wrote a poem I would prefer someone to tell me the truth and help rather than lie or just be negative.

Answer 22

i don't really like it. Sorry. i like poems that interst me, and that was kinda boring. maybe make it a little longer and more suspensful.

Answer 23

it depends on what your idea of a good poem is. in my opinion ( and i'm not greatly interested in poetry) its quite good, especially if you wrote it yourself.

Answer 24

The i cry out for help was great

Answer 25

i like it, but the fear and doom makes it feel lost. And lonely. So say something less sad and something that would make Hobo's feel un-guilty because they took a wrong turn in their lives. :-)

Answer 26

i honestly think that it is it sounds like its coming from the heart so that's all that matters keep it up and push forward in writing poetry  

Answer 27

It's a little over dramatic, and that comes from how vague your lines are.  "I cry out for help/but no one hears" -- OK.  That's nice and vague and melodramatic.  Try using specific details. They'll punch your poem up and prevent it from sounding like every other generic poem ever written.  For example: What does the speaker's voice sound like? Is the speaker actually speaking, or is it some other cry for help? How does the speaker know that nobody hears?  Etc.

Another tip: you have to be very careful when you use words like "soul" and "forever" and "fate."  Again, this is because of how vague they are.  They've become cliché.

Answer 28

i don't know sounds kind of

boring?

heart pumping maybe

i don't get if the person is running or preparing to run

why is your soul doomed waht the i don't get it

is the person even running?

Answer 29

I love this! Its the dark kind of mysterious poetry that I like. It leaves it to the reader's imagination to wonder why the author is running, why his adrenaline is rushing. It's full of passion, adn thats what makes it amazing. Poetry doesn't have to rhyme, and this is a perfect example of that. I like it. Keep writing!

Answer 30

It's good but kind of sad and depressive.

I would worry about someone like this.

Answer 31

i don't know what to say about it. I'm confuse!