Is this a good poem??

Question

I hit the water like it was block of cement,

it hurt so bad, i was winded, i was spent,

i couldn't get away i don't know how to swim,

but even if i did, it wouldn't change a thing,

because this rock they tied to my feet,

is a 100kg block of concrete,

my lungs starts to hurt i'm quickly going down,

i would untie the rock if i wasn't bound

Going down, down even further,

capital punishment like this is murder,

I have no way up I'm only going under,

how long will i survive i wonder.

My eyes start sting, my ears begin to ring,

my lungs are gonna explode or something,

i gotta let go, and as you all know,

i can't survive forever underwater, so,

i tried to shout, i let my last breath out,

nothing but bubbles came out of my mouth,

like i was a monster, I'm going unconscious,

next thin you know the water passed my tonsils,

i took the water in, it was all then,

the water filled my lungs and death had to begin,

Going down, down even further,

capital punishment like this is murder,

I have no way up I'm only going under,

how long will i survive i wonder.

is that good? cheers

Answer 1

i like it. it reminds me of some EDGAR ALLEN POE.

Answer 2

I do like the part that is repeated, other than that it's just so-so in my opinion.

Answer 3

omg yes yes yes this is a good poem... great poem... it tells the story perfectly and you can follow it.... just a few things and it would be brill.. love it.. keep it up (: