Is this a good poem to you?

Question

I wrote it a while ago and i got a lot of praise from my family and friends. Tell me what you think. Honestly.

In Time

The mist unsettled lies on the ground,

The people gathered make not a sound,

The pain and suffering is apparent,

On their faces, misery so transparent.

A gentle rain falls lightly down,

On faces of people all around,

Not a soul pays any mind,

All happiness is left behind.

The innocent not long since perished,

A mother clings to memories cherished,

If only a way to erase the past,

Then these feelings would not last.

Mourning hearts say silent prayer,

To bless the ones for which they care,

In hopes their fates be not the same,

With a final stone, that bears their name.

But tomorrow the sun again will rise,

Bringing hope to saddened eyes,

Although all pain has not ceased,

It all in time will be released.

Answer 1

thats really good!!!

keep up the good work on writing amazing poetry!

x

Answer 2

It  has basically a good feel to it, and images people to which people can relate.  There are. however, some syntax errors. To bless the ones for which they care, preferred usage would be whom in place of which. Although all pain has not ceased, It all in time will be released. "It" is redundant. Consider: Although pain has not all ceased, All in time will be released.  Many of the rhymes appear to be forced.  Pain and suffering requires a plural verb agreement.  They are apparent, not is. Eyes see rather than hope.  But is not a word to begin a sentence or verse. Your past participles are incorrectly used.  Either gathered is the verb of the sentence or a modifier for the word people, if it is the verb then make must agree in tense, likewise with unsettled in line one.  There are far too many "the"s and "a"s, it is no wonder that you lose track of agreement between definite and indefinite articles.  Consider dropping most, as well as "not a" , "all" and "any".

Answer 3

yepp.

im guessing you lost a loved one.

i'd cry if i read something like that after losing someone.

it shows a lot of emotion.

it's really good.

Answer 4

i really honestly LOVE IT!!!!!!!!!!! =]

Answer 5

i like the poem for its flow, ease to read, unassuming message, good use of expression, cronology... i could go on. in short i will say gr8 my kind of poem, well dunn mate!

Answer 6

I truly enjoyed it and keep up the good work it hold all the qualities of love, suffering, and hope.

A really nice job it's refreshing and bold with vivid images in it's sentence's.