Is this a good short story?

Question

I got up at the same time my enemy did. We both stood still watching the others every move. I could see faces on every side of me, watching to see what was going to happen. We both went to the center shook hands, turned, then took our positions. He was the first to shoot, and it barely missed me. I shook it off then returned to my postion. He tried again and this time I returned the ball with one blow from my raquet. One point. Again he served and I returned again with another point. Two Points.

haha is this a good start. Did yall think it was like a duel at the beginning of the story??

It's actually a tennis game!

haha was it good?

Answer 1

its awesome! the only thing is i wouldnt use the word "shoot" as it doesnt really apply to the game of tennis. "hit" sounds better, and it still gives the effect of a duel =)

Answer 2

The "Shoot" made it think it was a battle, with real guns. When you said, "I returned the ball with one blow from my raquet," I had known it was a game. That was good!