Is this a good start to a story?

Question

IZZIE

With or without magic

Once there were five girls. Izzie, the oldest, being 16. Lizzie, The 2nd oldest, being 14. Rea and Mea, the twins, being 12. Finally there was Jo Jo and she was 10. Izzie said “ Get up now or will be late for school!”. So as usual they all got up. Izzie wore blue Capri`s and a purple dress shirt. Lizzie wore her pajamas because her class was having pajama day. The twins wore the same thing. A tang top, shorts, and flip flops. And Jo Jo wore pants with a flower shirt and tennis shoes.

When they got home their home was gone. There were a bunch of firemen there.

Answer 1

She's only ten you stupid VAMPIRE CHICK

geez

If you want to be a writer one day, its really good to start this early!! Just keep on writing down your stories and one day one of your stories will just keep on going into a bigger story. Keep on writing :)

Answer 2

What's with the FRIEND thing?

I dont understand why that's there.

Your voice is... well, its a sort of awkward translucent, actually, not the best. You sound really, really young.

Answer 3

no, it is too unprofessional

Answer 4

It's good that you're interested in writing at such a young age. There are a few grammatical errors, but other than that, you have some very fresh ideas for a ten year old! Keep writing and soon your stories will grow into something bigger and better!  

Answer 5

Not bad for a ten year old. You should read a primer on basic English, and learn to use to, and too, correctly. Pay more attention to quotation marks and learn about dialogue tags. Some words are missing in some sentences. Writing is a challenging profession, if you are seriously considering it as a hobby, ot a career, do your homework and good luck to you.    

Answer 6

it's alright but i would suggest using more sensory details (the weather outside, where they are, how the place looks, how the people look, etc.). And you should probably have more plot instead of just jumping from one thing to another because it bores and confuses the reader.

Good luck!