Is this a good start to my essay?

Question

I am writing a paper for summer school (faled english zzzzzz). I dont want to fale agan so can you corect. It comparing u.s. government from now and 1776.

The U.S. government ain't what it use to be. Back in the day, people did not have to do stuff for props. It is a good life lesson to know that when you arent trying to impress people, you do anyway. Like General George Washington for instants. He didn't care about anything and look at him. Fashion icon with his hairstyle and teeth. Now what you have to admit is that nice guys finish last. George was fashionable but NOT nice. George W. Bush is NOT fashionable, did you see the coastals he was wearin at the interview with that guy on cnn. Whats ironic is their names are both George. Its most likely that Bush wanted to be the next GW, but couldnt because he cared too much of what everyone thinks. So while Bush and the rest of U.S. Government is trying hard, it doesn't matter if you don't have the quality strats.

Answer 1

-Ain't ain't a word.

-Do not use contractions in formal writing.

-Refer to George Bush as President Bush.

-Work on sentence structure.

-Avoid using the pronouns "you" and "I"

-CNN is capitalized

-What the heck are quality strats

Needs cleaned up!

Answer 2

Buddy, you need help!  Have you considered a tutor???  (I don't mean this in a bad way.  We all have our weaknesses!)

Answer 3

first rule to do an essay

dont come on tooo strong

also NEVER NEVER NEVER  use contractions such as aint and don't  get the picture

that is just lazy spelling correct no run offs

try something like the  u s government is not the same as it used to be.... get the pic

Answer 4

Thats terrible. Your grammar usage is awful and the comprassion of governments should be political and militarily and stuff like that. Do not use aint or anyhting with fashion.

Answer 5

The U.S. government ain't what it use to be. Back in the day, people did not have to do stuff for props. It is a good life lesson to know that when you aren't trying to impress people, you end up impressing them anyway. Like General George Washington for instance. He didn't care about anything and look at him. He's a fashion icon with his iconic white hairdo and his infamous wooden teeth. Now what you have to admit is that nice guys finish last. George was fashionable but NOT nice. George W. Bush is NOT fashionable, did you see the coastals he was wearin at the interview with that guy on CNN. Whats ironic is their names are both George. Its most likely that Bush wanted to be the next GW, but couldn't because he cared too much of what everyone thinks. So while Bush and the rest of U.S. Government is trying hard, it doesn't matter if you don't have the quality strats.

ok, i edited a few grammatical errors, and added a couple of words.

I was very confused on what your paper is about.  To be completely honest, it doesn't make a whole lot of sense.  I suggest speaking with your teacher and have them help you write it, or at least edit it for you.  I'm sure they wouldn't mind, and they would be impressed by you.  If they won't, ask your parents or a smart friend.

good luck.

Answer 6

An essay!??? The reason why you are failing is because you aren't using 'facts' but rather making things up! When you make a statement, have evidence to back it up! You need sources. I got no idea what you are on about, your spelling and grammar is everywhere....?

Answer 7

Is this a joke? You have so many errors I don't even know where to begin.

Answer 8

No.  Grammar is bad and you are really not saying anything.

Answer 9

if you have a flexible teaChEr if you don't lost the ain't and get more structure and widen your intro

Answer 10

oh my goodness , your grammar isn't all that great. sorry i just had to say that. but in papers, you are not allowed to use contractions. you dont use words like "stuff" either.

and that is NOT a good opening to a paper. this is just terrible. an opening to a paper is where you state what you will be talking about in your paper. and you need to have a thesis statement in it. and if you dont know what that is, a thesis statement is something that can be argued over, in other words, and opinion that you have on the US government. and in your body paragraphs, (which should be about 3 paragraphs) each one should have a subject. like make all of the information the same in each paragraph. don't talk about some random things. and then you should have a closing paragraph, where you summarize your paper and restate your thesis. if you have any other questions, email me at [e-mail]

Answer 11

that "ain't" a good start at all! throw it out and start anew and don't use any of those topics you talked about, who cares what our president is wearing!?

Answer 12

okay, this needs alot of work. 1st of all by the 1st like 3 sentences I should know what your talking about and I don't. also when you are writing a paper for school don't use contractions and don't use the word ain't. Also, if I were you I would compare something other than fashion, For example, you could compare how different the government is run. Like how all of the amendments and what not effect our lives today, and how life would be different if we didn't have the amendments