Is this a good story for kids in 1 first for secound grade?

Question

chapter 1

One day in shelby a huge crash hit down town.the crash was so fearce it ddestoryed the old flower factory.when the citizens aproched it a creature emerged.the people went uunninh in fear but one boy stayed behind.As the boy aproched the creature ask whats you name?"MICHAEL"replied the boy.then the creature said his name was mintarin

chapter2

the boy asked the the creature were he came from.he repiled "planet ATHEIS".the creature had came to make peace not war.

chapter 3

the boy found out that once some one has spoken to him can only speak to him no one else could for that was what he swore to upkeep to prevent war.This creature fowloed the

boy to his house.the boy turned on the TV the creature was amused and yet confused about a tv.The creature asked the boy whats a tv for.the boy said"it for entertainment but it causes more violence really much from video games"the creature thought that if he could get kids parents and other people aware c this he just might succeed to make peace.

the creature had stayed the night at the boys house the next Morin the boy went to school.he said to the creature there is also violence in school also bullies peer pressure this happens daily.I like you to came with me to school top see the vileonce that happens there.they boy got on the school bus and the creature was shocked and there were people punching at a kid throwing boy said this is no even half of it

chapter4

they arrived at school when the creatured entered he saw that nothing was going on but when the bell rang a kid when running out of the bathroom with some one chasing him.

the creatutre said why do you humans do this the boy said not all of us do.spome do it because of there problem at home or have nothing to do at all.the creature thought that not a reason to bullie .

then when the boy when to class the creature found out that a kid was going to get beat up on the play ground but it was a bullie so he payed no mind to it.

the last bell rang and school was out for the summer the boy was looking foreward to this and now he was out of 6 weeks of no school.

chapter 5.when the boy got home he when to the movie and thecreture say all theese vilenet films.like that all that had vileonce but only onwe w was a good one with no viloence so ever it was call rough patch.creture enoyed the movie it had no vilence in at all.

chapter6

the creature told the boy he would revale himself to one more person.but culd never speak about it and help him get attendtion said the creature the boy picked his fathe.becuase he would always beilve him and never ever told a secrete no madder whow much he was bribed.and to the boys surprize his father got a job in the news this could be the big chance and get to get out about all.when the boys father had seen it he had come up with a great head line the boy was very good at making video so he could make it and help him out.

chapter7

the boy had just finished the video and were ready to put it on the news he pput it up the next day it made alll the paper natinaiol televison radio .he had sucseeded now that mission is complete the creeture had seen no vieonce at alll after that anmd then he had to go home but found out that his planet was desroyed due from violnce.

Answer 1

I teacher 1st grade and there is no way they could read this.  The words in it are way to long and complicated for them and it's too long.  Make it a shorter story & change the language or make it for an older grade.

Answer 2

It might be better if it were written in some kind of recognizable language.

Answer 3

no way to complicated

Answer 4

Sorry, but this book isn't appropriate for anyone.  For starters, not only are the words complicated, but many words are not spelled correctly.  There grammatical errors everywhere and no punctuation to speak of....No offense, but this looks like samples of text that my two 2nd graders bring home to demonstrate misspelled words and improper grammar and punctuation.

If you have a message to put across, make sure you do it simply and correctly.  Otherwise, people will not be able to understand it.

Answer 5

No, it only influences them to spell things wrong. Second, its too long. Try this one, my sister, 8 and in 2nd grade, made it. Here's the link;

http://answers.yahoo.com/question/index?...

Answer 6

Try to break the long words into smaller words because at 1st grade they are just begging to learn!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Answer 7

I think the book is too long for kids in 1st grade.  They are only beginning to read, and there are alot of large words in your story.  Try to scale it down and use your thesaurus to find smaller, more understandable words.  Remember, you are dealing with 6 year olds.