Question:

Is this a good way to start an essay?

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I have to write a sort of one-page autobiography for school, and it must start with the words "I am.." Is this a good way to begin?

I am stumped. I know I could easily start this essay with “My name is Giulia Alvarez, I’m twelve years old, and yadda, yadda, yadda...” But no; I’ll entertain you. My lonely life began uneventfully on the thirteenth of February in the even more uneventful year of 1996, making me twelve years old. My belief is that The 1960s were a time synonymous with psychedelic music, social revolution, political upheaval and counter culture. I think that I may have been born some forty years too late.

It’s beyond me how I became so... teenage. The thought itself makes me shudder. Since who knows when, I’ve become ten times more arrogant and hypocritical than I was in elementary school. I spend most of my time on the computer, writing down ideas for a (I wish!) novel. My current number one idea is about a girl who discovers that she is the reincarnation of the new Aztec sun god, and since the sun is burning out, she must take his place by jumping into a fire. Meanwhile, Nanahuatzin, the current sun god, is getting sick of all the pampering and wants to do some work for once. So he goes to the Lord of Death and asks him how he can become human. The Lord of Death pushes him backwards and he wakes up a human. I’ve brushed up on my Aztec history and tried to remember as much of it as I can, mainly the names.

When I write, somehow, even in the most far-fetched c**k-and-bull story, I write from experience. The feelings that my characters have, how they speak, what they wish for... everything is, virtually, mine. One of my first completed stories was about a group of children starting middle school. Another was set all in the schoolyard, which I described just like at Booker T. Washington, with the Quiet Zone and everything.

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  1. As a fellow writer, yes, I think this is a good start to your essay!!

    My son shares your Feb. 13 birthday by the way...........    but he's only 4 1/2 so I can't tell yet if he'll share our love for the written word.

    I say go for it.............most teachers at your age are expecting the "what I did last summer" kind of thing, so I think that your teacher will find your essay refreshing.  P.S. "The 1960's" doesn't need a capital T.........  but other than that, very well done!  Good luck to you.


  2. Firstly, it's good to see someone with your intelligence.

    About your essay - If I were a teacher I'd love one of my pupils to write something so original and interesting, but your teacher may not share those feelings. I like your style of writing and it's very refreshing when compared to most of the things 12 year olds write, however, I don't think your teacher will appreciate it. He/she might just want you to follow the instructions, so I think you should start with the words 'I am...' You don't have to conform though! Just keep the standard beginning, but express yourself in the same way afterwards. You should follow the rules of the assignment, but there are always ways to work around the boring curriculum, so don't worry.

    P.S. perhaps you could structure it differently. Keep the same content, but make the ending less abrupt.


  3. wow...how old are you? your very smart! but yea, your doin good.

  4. it runs on a lot you need more paragraph definition. a traditional essay like for h.s. is you have an introduction paragraph that states generally what it is the point of your essay will be. in it you write a sentence or so on each supporting fact. 3 or 4 will do it. next paragraph you would elaborate on the first supporting fact from the introduction  next paragraph.. your second supporting fact and so on. the last paragraph will be you conclusion. you would close using your supportive facts. for example if it was about the president you would say  in conclusion i believe animal rights are important because ( insert relevant supporting fact). also ( fact 2). and lastly (fact 3)

    make an outline it helps ask you parents how

  5. take the **** out and ur good

  6. wow! you have an interesting writing strategy....i like it but your teacher may get angry at this one because he/she may have wanted the "hi I'm ........ i like ...." so in my opinion its really good but your teacher may not accept it

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