Is this a great poem or wat???

Question

When I cry, you are there to help me out

When I am happy, you are there to hear me shout

When I grin you know that I am really mad

You can always tell when I am sad

You are the best friend I have ever had!

You are there with me through thick and thin

You offer a helping hand when I am dim

You patiently listen when I want to talk

You tell me I am good even when I have been bad

You are the best friend I have ever had!

So hear me out when I say

You are the light in my day

You are the moon in my night

That made my life so bright

With you I am always glad

You are the best friend I have ever had!

Answer 1

Well, don't hate me for this, but no I'm sorry it's not great. It's pretty pathetic, it's just clichés used so many times they've lots all traces of meaning... Anyway it terms of logic, it's still doesn't make sense - "You tell me I am good even when I have been bad" what kind of friend would lie to you like that? The rhythm is non-existent, the verses are different lengths and the rhyming pattern doesn't make any sense. 'Glad' and 'sad' don't rhyme with 'had'. I'm sorry but this poem has been done a thousand times before, it's not original or inspiring. On the other hand spelling and grammar is good so that's a start.

Anyway; keep writing poems, don't give up.  

Answer 2

Shakespeare's Sonnet LXXIII is a great poem, Keats's "Ode to Autumn" is a great poem, Eliot's "Love Song of J. Alfred Prufrock" is a great poem.  This is "wat" as you have so eloquently phrased it.

Answer 3

I liked the last paragraph...

the rest need some work.

Answer 4

I suggest you read more poems.

Your first 16 lines where shallow and quite immature. Oops...your whole poem is 16 lines...

Answer 5

For one thing, this screams for you to drop most all of the "you's",,, punctuation usage would allow this to happen while retaining the identity of the person you wrote it for.

This is a bare recitation of how you feel, no depth, no emotions revealed, nothing to draw me into your feelings nor does it evoke any of my own.   The rhyme is okay though I think you had to stretch to accomplish some of them.

Answer 6

Personally, i think that its i simple but the beauty of the poem lies in its simplicity.

Answer 7

I really like the last 6 lines!  And the way its starts out

Answer 8

I appreciate anyone's willingness or interest in writing poetry.  But writing poetry does not a poet make.  If this was written by a child, it's fantastic.  If this was written by an adult...I cringe instead of saying something cruel.  The poem is cliches and easy rhyme.  It's verse at best.  Poetry should be the thing that you write when you are so desperate to expell your demons that beauty and pain and desperation seep through your pores onto the paper in front of you.  Read Rilke, or Plath, or Brautigan, or Blumenthall, or Neruda, or Sexton, or the inumerable other greats if you have any interest in becoming a poet.