Is this a little unimportant compared to the others?

Question

Trial of Sight

Part Twelve

Others gather around her,

poor Cara, broken in body, blind

haunted by her past and present

unheeding to the future

Out of darkness of reality

still in shadows of the eyes

Vision fades into a dreamless sleep,

near death, she is fading fast

-As I said they would, this one is shorter, more manageable… I am sorry that this one is not as revealing as the others but it was a necessity to the story… I dare to ask what you think of this miniscule part of the ongoing journey of our little Cara…

Blessed Be in Love, Light and Salvation from darkness, Siren

Answer 1

I see this scene, with the "others gathered around her" as she lies helpless and sightless. It sets the stage for the next "act" very well.  It seems important to remember that Cara is "still in shadows of the eyes".  Her journey is not at its tragic end here and now.  There is more to come.  I await.... Thank you.

Answer 2

i think they are realistic,

word are flowing. i like it,

you are very good.

god bless laney

Answer 3

I may be way off base here, but I do not consider a condition of hovering between life and death as "minuscule" [Note spelling.]

At any rate, the presence of "others" seems reassuring, although we do not yet know if these others are good or evil.

I don't know for how long this will continue, but you started from the very first line with high drama and tension, and you have maintained that throughout.