Is this a load of?

Question

Ok. Someone please tell me what they mean by saying that the adopted child was stolen from their family?

Even though 9/10, the bio mother has given her consent to adoption anyway.

Are people just looking for someone to blame now?

Sorry in advance, just need to know as I have herd this baught up a few times.

Answer 1

obviously your 9/10 theory doesn't include most of the adult adoptees from the baby scoop era in the 60's - 70's.  i was one of them.

doctors drugged mothers, told them their babies had died, and then took bries and sold the kids.

but as long as people chose to believe adoption is A-OK!, i guess we're screwed.

Answer 2

I think there is a very large part of the population of biological mothers who did seek out adoption, of their own free will, for their child...but then, when they changed their minds, were coerced into giving up their child anyway.  In some cases, the adoptive family has already been paying the mother's bills throughout the pregnancy, and if she then decided to keep her baby, she would have to pay back all that money.  There are people who don't tell the baby's father (so, he's not consenting to his child being raised by someone else...I think that qualifies as stealing a child).  There are many subtle forms of coercion...I mean, think about it.  We as a society still give out the message that if you're not married, don't own a home, don't have a great job, don't own at least 2 cars, and/or live in a bad part of town...well, you just don't deserve a child.  That, in and of itself, is enough coercion for some women who could be very good mothers, to seek out an adoption plan for their child.

I'm sure there are also back-alley psycho gynecologists who steal babies and carry on the illustrious tradition of selling human flesh to the highest bidder.  Human trafficking does happen.  Yes, even in America.  (I don't know where you're at, but I bet it happens there, too.)

Answer 3

Yes, it is true that many women were decieved or pressured in/pre 1960's.  That was an era of deceit and secrecy in adoptions.  It was also an era of pronounced racial prejudice, medical abuse, sexual inequality, economic disparity, and religious manipulation.  Things can and do change, and they can and do improve.  Adoptions are much more ethical, as birthmothers are educated and supported to make informed decisions,  and children have the opportunity to have open relationships with their birth parents in most cases.  Perfect? No, but neither are the circumstances surrounding a woman who chooses adoption.

Answer 4

my mother was told I died at birth. so yes children do get stolen.

Answer 5

9/10ths? Can you prove that and back that statement up or is that your discriminate opinion as normal?

Stolen is like I was my family was a good family till some rich spoiled brat with opinions and discrimination similar to yours ripped it apart..

Stolen is forcing a mother to give her child up....

Stolen is being born out of wedlock and your parents telling you your making them look bad give up the child..

Answer 6

First, I will grant that the adoption process in the 60's and 70's and before left much to be desired, and that's putting it lightly.  My sister was pressured to place her first child for adoption, changed her mind in the hospital.  It took a pretty firm stance on her part to make it happen, but in the end, nobody drugged and coerced her.

But adoptions now have made huge strides toward fairness for both the birthfamily and the adoptive family.  That's not to say bad things don't still happen, but overall the process has made tremendous progress.  

As for the first part, about adoptive child being stolen from the family.  That's personal baggage from someone who really has issues to sort out.  I've said it before that this sweeping, broad judgements on what are unique and personal situations is getting rather annoying.  But I don't put a whole lot of stake in it at all.  It's very easy to lash out at strangers.

Answer 7

I compeltely agree. i just saw this category of yahoo answers and came looking. I'm totally appalled that people on here say such negative things about adoptive parents. my parents didn't steal me. if there are adoptees that think that, they are so sad.

Answer 8

You have a lot to learn, little girl.

The women who relinquish nowadays that are ok with their decision and have no regrets(or some regrets) are so few and far between, lawyers and agencies would never make their $$$ (I am one of those very few women).  CPS preys on the poor so they can get their cash bonuses from the federal government, all thanks to Bill Clinton when he was prez.   There are many, many mothers and fathers who are still fighting the return of their children.  Even if they contest it within the revokation period, the lawyers and agencies fight until the period expires and continue the adoption.  Women feel obligated to hand their children over if the prospective adoptive parents pay for medical costs and such (no first mom should be expected to pay them back if she decides she wants to parent her child!), CPS homewreckers falsify reports to keep wrongfully taken children with them......there is evidence all around us of the corruption and distortion of the foster care system and adoption.  Perhaps you should educate yourself before running your mouth.  Want first hand accounts, look into exiledmothers.com....Read The Girls Who Went Away....not all women "chose" to give away their babies.

Answer 9

It still happens today.  I know of at least ten folks who have had their children basically stolen due to the unscrupulous agencies and attorneys. These are the cases that have been publicized.  After I had my first child, the doctor that should have delivered her was dealing in black market babies.  He got busted for it.  I changed doctors at the last minute.  My daughter is now eleven years old.  

The reason why records are sealed is not to protect natural parents, adoptees or even adoptive parents.  Its to protect the adoption agencies and their attorneys.  Period.

Answer 10

yes, bmoms are looking for someone to blame for their regrets; adoptees are looking for someone to blame because they can't stomach the thought that their bmoms actually CHOSE to give them up.  Using the coercion, baby snatching aparents comic strip makes it better for them to swallow.

Answer 11

Yeah, that is true, however, if the bio-mother is underage, she has no right to keep the baby.  Her parents might give the baby up for adoption.  When the Bio-mother becomes 18 or whatever she hunts her child down.

I know someone that had that happened to them... she's battling in court right now.

Answer 12

Some recent news stories from the past two months you may wish to review...

Too many cases to ignore despite lack of proof

Anecdotal evidence gives ample cause for concern

http://www.canada.com/edmontonjournal/ne...

Adoptees claim they lost their biological parents through underhanded methods

http://www.canada.com/vancouversun/news/...

Adopted Argentine sues dirty war parents

http://www.miamiherald.com/915/story/425...

Liberia investigates child adoptions by U.S. agency

http://africa.reuters.com/wire/news/usnL...

The shameful secrecy of the adoption system

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/pages/live/ar...

Baby racket in three major hospitals

http://www.sundaytimes.lk/080127/News/ne...

KIDNAPPED KIDS REUNITE WITH FAMILY IN GUATEMALA

http://insidedateline.msnbc.msn.com/arch...

Adoption agency in child kidnap probe

http://www.news.com.au/story/0,23599,230...

Chad court jails French aid staff

http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/africa/716079...

Answer 13

I wasn't stolen, my mom had to give me up because of life choices. i just learnt i can't judge others.

Answer 14

I will not judge the experience any first parent states s/he had.  That's not for me to judge.

ETA:

Alisa, I have no problem believing, accepting, stating that my first parents chose to relinquish me when I was 13 months old.  This was their choice because the bad circumstances that occurred in their lives made it such that they couldn't provide for me.  Again, I won't judge someone else's experience.  Please don't speak for me or others.