Is this a logical reason to kick someone out of an AA program~~?

Question

I started to attend AA meetings because I drink to much with my girlfriends. Yesterday I went to my meeting and one of my girllfriends actually attended with me for the first time and I was so happy. At break time a woman teacher there asked me to leave. She said I was a distraction to one of the men there and he found it hard to concentrate with me being in the room. I said, "He should leave then I am doing nothing wrong. "She said, "He has been here for years we are not going to ask him to do that, your best bet is to join an all womens meeting." I was so pissed off, because my friend was with me and how bad does that look to her? I asctually called the lady a "B" and left~~! Is that a normal situation~~? You go somewhere to get help and that happens~~?

Answer 1

Hi im with everyone else.  This is just WRONG!!!!!  Please let me make a suggestion.  If you got enough nerve (it is SO scary the first few times) to go to a meeting NO ONE has a right to diss you that way.  But please dont let this group or a couple of people stop you from going to AA.  Do find a Sponser and another group.  No one can get fired from AA but you can report this to your regional group.  Just remember just because someone is sober it doesnt make them a good person so if I were you Id just move on and find a group that is REAL.  Shame on them.  GOOD LUCK it can be done!!!

Answer 2

No, it's not normal at all. Assuming there was no reason for it, I would talk to somebody else about the situation and find out what the issue is. The 12th tradition reminds us to place principles before personalities, and the third is that the only requirement for membership is a desire to stop drinking, so her reaction is inappropriate, as is the guy's.

If you have a sponsor (and if you don't, you need to get one, in order to work your program effectively, it's the single most important thing you'll ever do), then you should talk with her about this situation. If not, I would approach the person who chaired the meeting or some other AA with a long period of sobriety, and discuss it calmly. At the very least, you might not get the answer you want, but you might get some more perspective on the issue. Remember that people's reactions aren't always about you, so you might get an answer you're not even remotely expecting. But at least you'll get some perspective and resolution on the whole mess.

And for what it's worth, closed same-s*x meetings are awesome. I love mine.

Answer 3

Well, that's a first.  I've known of people getting thrown out of meetings because they said they had an addiction other than alcohol; or because they brought a nonalcoholic friend; or even because they were drunk.  But being too attractive for the meeting is just, well, bizarre.

No great loss, though, really.  I spent many years of my life going to AA meetings before eventually realizing I was simply covering the same ground over and over again...I was sober, but there was no way to actually grow emotionally.  You had to think and speak a certain way, slogans replaced real insight, and a significant number of people seemed to be there for no other reason than to get laid.

If you are serious about dealing with your drinking problem and think you may need a support group, there are other choices such as smart recovery, women for sobriety, moderation management and lifering.  Try googling them.  And good luck, whatever you do!

Answer 4

That's total BS. You are trying to get help. They should let you in. You should get her fired for refusing to help someone with an alcohol problem. Why is she even there if she's not going to help everyone? That perverted old man should leave for looking at young girls like yourself. He's the one with a problem, not you.

Answer 5

Sounds like he has more problems then alcohol! Or maybe the lady had a problem with you.

Answer 6

That doesn't seem fair, however I do think there is a compliment in all of this. If the man was distracted by you, then isn't that a good thing. Doesn't that mean you are awesome and beautiful.

I can't say how you should resolve this, but try to look on the positive even though it is an unfair situation.

Answer 7

You do know this got posted in "Beer, Wine and Spirits"..... lol...

I have noticed that you cetainly do have this effect on men...  However, I think this is awful...that she holds a higher importance to his inability to control himself in your presence over the fact that you are there possibly for the REAL reason.  He has the problem.  Maybe it's he that should join an all-mens meeting.

Sounds like she (jealous her) might have her own sights on him....ya think?

Answer 8

what exactly were u wearing? and how old are you?  in any case calling the woman a ***** and leaving was pretty immature and rude of you