Is this a narrative on education?

Question

It took the shop assistant ages to work out how much I owed the store, all because her computer calculator had given up the ghost.

I do enjoy solving some of the basic questions regarding physics. Not the professor sort of stuff with a chalkboard full of figures and symbols, equalling something that needs another chalkboard to explain the answer.

No, I mean the sort of questions that our children would ask us so that they could complete their homework, and hopefully show that their dad or mom are not the thickies they at think they are.

I am not saying that we have to give them the answers to their never-ending questions, but we can help them to help themselves to solve the problem.

When I was at school in the 1930’s, things were so much simpler. If the problem to be solved was to take seven away from ten, I would hold up ten fingers, chop off seven and what I had left on my blooded hands was the answer. Mind you it did limit my calculations somewhat. But you see what I mean about solving problems. I solved most of my arithmetic by using the fingers of the kid who sat next to me. I suppose that I could have used my toes but that would have put paid to my soccer games.

Of course I am only kidding about the finger chopping, I retained all of mine, it was the other kid who had to explain to his mom why he could not hold his spoon when the rice pudding was served.

When I advance sufficiently to be able to put the letters and figures onto paper (Not chalk and slate) things became easier. Someone though has to put a spanner in the works, my teacher wanted us to show how we had worked out a problem by showing it in the margin of the page. I had to have six books for the working out and one for the answer. I was not dumb mind you, no, I wrote somewhat in large printing, I could not do it in “running” writing then, well I was only twelve.

We did not have any fancy school uniforms, and as the war was still being fought some kids came to school looking like dwarfs in Hitler’s army. My poor old mom had to go the Army and Navy stores to get my clothing. Mind you I did not really mind, but after a while I got a bit fed up having to go to school looking like a Japanese Rear Admiral.

Anyway I am getting away from the subject somewhat. Kids of today are on the whole pretty smart, mind you take away their calculators and they are pretty well useless at doing sums. But you cannot blame them; society has to take some of the responsibility, as do their parents, no forget the parents, some are worse than their children.

Take my grandson, a lovely lad, six years of age and bright as a button, well sometimes. Ask him how long it takes the light from the sun to reach the earth; he was say “Eight minutes poppy”. What is lightning? Out will come the answer. What is gravity? Another right answer.

Mind you the little perisher had us all the other day in the local library. I asked him how many arms an octopus had. He came right out with the answer. “Poppy, an octopus has eight testicles”.

I went across and picked up the lady librarian who was on the floor rolling in uncontrollable laughter. I thought that it was time to hand my little Einstein over to his grandmother.

Ah hedifhicashun, it’s a great learnin’ thing.

Answer 1

You sir are a raconteur extraordinaire.  This delightful piece is so full of the stuff of life; it is at once astute commentary on a cultural phenomenon, personal reminiscence, and yes poetry.  You have reminded all who live in an age of literary concision that digression is perhaps the greater art, one that forges links of intellect and empathy between writer and reader, and that all life is poetry, we need only know how to listen.  The metaplasmic figures of your final sentence serve as a wry commentary on education and a sort of self-mocking said with a sidelong glance.  Thanks for sharing all the riches of your writing and your perspective.  

P.S. Your grandson is so fortunate to have you, and you him...

Answer 2

Your narrative, dear Robert, is full of nostalgia, history, and science. Imaginative and extraordinaire grandson surely brings a gentleman much pleasure. I liken him to the octopus in that he is far-reaching into the study of science which one day may prove to be correct, while at the present time brings laughter to your readers and joy to you. I'm sure you are his inspiration.

Answer 3

Robert, I may never stop laughing..This is so wonderful.  I count syllables on the fingers and still get it wrong!  Thanks for such a delightful piece.

Answer 4

It is indeed !

I quite enjoyed it right all the way through.

And I must admit it rings true to all my recollections and memories and of that yet to be..

Very Nicely put. Thank you.

Answer 5

This is too funny! Keep this on file, don't lose it, no matter what happens. Write it on paper if necessary.

Answer 6

I would really love to see you do a complete book of this.  It is the kind of thing the world needs in order to laugh at itself and stop fighting with everyone else.

Answer 7

God Bless you and yours!

OH! Out of the mouths of Babes!!