Is this a personality disorder?

Question

Hi, I have been dealing with this problem for years. I know I should go to a therapist, but my mom can't pay for it at the moment. We aren't poor, we just had to put the money towards other things at the moment. If you have any good suggestions for self-help books, though, tell me. I am 17, almost 18.

Right now I was just wondering what this sounded like to you.

I haven't made friends for a long time. I have 2 friends, they're from Kindergarten. The thing is, I am wary of people. If someone laughs, I think they are laughing about me. If someone whispers near me, I think it may be about me. It sometimes depends on who it is. I basically feel socially retarded. I have nothing to say to people. Can't keep a conversation going. I just don't connect with people on a social level.

I don't like being ridiculed, just like everyone else. But for me, to assure a 'good day'..I do activities(like brushing my teeth, simple things) in a certain way so that it will reassure me I'll have a good day. I sometimes feel that something gets angry or displeased with me. I can't explain it. I just feel to do things a certain way so no one will feel like being in a ridiculing mood. FOr example, if I wore a certain shirt on a day that wasn't good, I probably won't wear that shirt for awhile. I think it may have caused it somehow.

I can be oversensitive. It takes me a long time to get over an insult. Mostly things that happened at school, long ago. No, it's not like people at school 'bullied' me..just occasionally they would say something hurtful which they probably meant nothing by, but it still effected me.

I don't do well with interaction with others. I get nervous, secretly thinking they are pretending to be nice. There has been people that have asked me out, but I always refuse. I don't think I would be able to handle a relationship. I wouldn't be open enough and there are things that could go wrong, or things that my partner might not accept about me.

I am also wary of teachers. I think they might love me inappropriately. I don't know why I think this. No situation has happened that might make me wary of adults in this way. It is also sometimes with my mom.

Does this sound like a disorder?

Answer 1

Common Characteristics

Personality Disorders are mental illnesses that share several unique qualities.  They contain symptoms that are enduring and play a major role in most, if not all, aspects of the person's life.  While many disorders vacillate in terms of symptom presence and intensity, personality disorders typically remain relatively constant.



To be diagnosed with a disorder in this category, a psychologist will look for the following criteria:

Symptoms have been present for an extended period of time, are inflexible and pervasive, and are not a result of alcohol or drugs or another psychiatric disorder.  The history of symptoms can be traced back to adolescence or at least early adulthood.

The symptoms have caused and continue to cause significant distress or negative consequences in different aspects of the person's life.

Symptoms are seen in at least two of the following areas:

Thoughts (ways of looking at the world, thinking about self or others, and interacting)

Emotions (appropriateness, intensity, and range of emotional functioning)

Interpersonal Functioning (relationships and interpersonal skills)

Impulse Control

you might have a personality disorder im not sure with the therapist there are some psychologists that are paid for by the government in some countries otherwise you still go to school so the school canceller might help help you

personality disorders are the most challenging to  treat because they are unreliable with info and tend not to trust there therapist so when you do go see a therapist make sure you stick with the therapy (if you really dont like a therapist then see another one dont just stop therapy completely

these sites might help you as well-

http://www.bbc.co.uk/health/conditions/m...

http://www.mentalhelp.net/poc/view_doc.p...

http://www.rcpsych.ac.uk/pdf/personality...

http://www.mayoclinic.com/health/persona...

Answer 2

I'm no pro but you might have self esteem issues.Try working out. Try challenging things you like to do .Challenge yourself with things that are hard.Say to yourself ,I can do this.Never give up.Move forward always.

Answer 3

no - you just lack confidence.  

it's a whole lot better to go around thinking that everybody likes you than to go around thinking that nobody does...  Just because a few people express their dislike for you - so what?     IF you don't like you then how can you expect other people to like you?  

you need to go to school tomorrow like you have high status like you are the most important person there, and when you come in you greet everyone enthusiastically and you don't care what their response is.  

you're just shy but your shyness can be overcome.  I used to be the same way, but I"m not like that anymore.    

basically you really don't know if someone likes you or not, often if they don't like you they make a big deal to tell you they don't, but if they do like you they probably won't say anything.  

You don't have to have the approval of others to feel good about yourself, and there's no pill than can fix a problem with a lack of self-confidence.  

You have your own unique personality and temperment that God has given you and ok somebody else thinks something is wrong with you - so?  does that mean there is?  no..  they can learn to live with it.  

you should decide how you want to interact with people and make up your mind that you aren't going to let their response change the way you interact with them.  If you make all your decisions based on how other people respond you are going to let other people run your life, and you need to run your own life.  

a book that may help you is called "Goodbye to Shy"  Liel Lowndes

Answer 4

Sounds a little obsessive compulsive. Some days ill change shirts or something because I need everything to kind of flow. If things give me a bad vibe I tend to stay away from them. If I brush up against something I usually smooth it back over with my hand because it just feels like im forgetting something if I dont. Im pretty self concious of what people think so I know how you feel. Id say How to win friends and influence people by Dale Carnagie would be a helpful book for you to read. I would also encourage trying a relationship just not anything serious until you feel comfortable opening up.

~ Eric.

Answer 5

Well I note the following things:

1) paranoia

2) anxiety

3) need for structure

4) the attribution of bad circumstance to the absence of or deviation from structure

5) pubescence

  Now the first question to ask yourself is this:  does this cause you distress or impair your functioning, be it social, economic, or otherwise?  If not, then you really haven't much to worry about.  But if it does, then here is what I have to say:  it definitely has the character of an anxiety disorder, since the main symptoms appear to be anxiety, specifically social anxiety, which in this case manifests as detachment and paranoia.  However, what stands out to me here is the need for structure and anxiety caused by a deviation from structure, which are classic symptoms of Obsessive Compulsive Disorder.  OCD can also manifest as paranoia, self persecutory thought, and ultimately works towards the reduction of anxiety via order and routine.  Thus, I would say that OCD is likely the problem.  I would recommend finding someone mature to talk to, if therapy is economically infeasible, as talking out these things can often help to manage a lot of the stress.  I understand that it may be difficult to open up about it, but honestly getting past that barrier is quite important to learning to manage this disorder.  If it gets really bad, a psychiatrist can prescribe one of several drugs to control the disorder, though I myself am no fan of pharmaceuticals and they can get quite expensive.  Best of luck.

Answer 6

A lot of what you are exploring sounds like paranoia with OCD (Obsessive Compulsive Disorder).  A lot of codependency issues deal with distrust in others, too, leading you to believe they are out to get you, one way or the other.

At any rate, it seems you have a lot of paranoia about what others are feeling or thinking about you.  That in itself can be very controlling over the way you present yourself and how you interact with those around you.  Hence, causing you to freeze when talking to others.  It seems you are consumed with the thought that you will "embarrass" yourself, yet you probably don't even try due to your lack of trust with others.

Only a doctor, of course, can diagnose or suggest to you what exactly may be going on.  If you are interested in books, however, go to your local bookstore and scan books in the "self-help" section.  Look  over different books and what topics they focus on.  If any of them relate to you and how you're feeling, get it!  It can't hurt!

Good luck to you...and happy reading!

Answer 7

You know, this sounds just like me, with everything! Except my 2 friends are from 1st grade. I think were just plain shy. It can be scary, not everyone will like you and you wont like everyone. Somebody may like you and you don't like them, thats okay! I suggest getting a social worker, I have one and she has helped me so much it's amazing. She feels like a friend I've gotten to know her real well.

But this may be a sign of depression too.

Answer 8

i think your mom already knows that you have certain issues, because you say she cant afford to send you to therapy. that means you have talked about it, right? i gather you live in the U.S., because you have to pay for therapy there. is there a free clinic or something like that close to where you live? can you go there? if you rent aware of anything, maybe your doctor can give you suggestions of where you might get the help you need for little or no cost. self help books cant really help for all mental issues. sometimes you even need some medication. i think that your family doctor should be at least able to prescribe some meds that could possibly help you. i would try him first, and hopefully he will be able to either help you or guide you to someone who can. good luck.

Answer 9

From what I know..there is a disorder for aaanything. I can relate to you on one of your topics. I myself am very very bad at holding a conversation (mainly with new people I don't know). If there is a name of this "disorder" that you might possibly have, I don't know it. But it just sounds like a confidence issue to me.