Is this a quarter life crisis?

Question

My boyfriend of nearly 3 years decided we need to be on a break for a variety of reasons that I believe are a result of him going through a quarter life crisis (recent grad, new job, no more college etc..you get the idea). He also says we are too young to be in a serious rel. and thinks we should see what else is out there. He put a 2 month time frame on this (it's been 2 weeks so far and let me tell you it's been h**l for me). I've gone out on dates and it hasn't meant much to me because I am in love with my ex. He has also approached all my best friends looking to vent/get advice because he is confused/misses me but thinks he did the right thing in the long run..

So, is he going through a crisis or is he gone?

Answer 1

I think that it's impossible to tell and I also think that he doesn't know either. I've seen this happen to several friends of mine and in most cases they got back together again, but in some cases they really shouldn't have and now many years and a couple of kids later they are miserable and filing for divorce.

You are at the point in life when things changes and the future starts to look different. I understand that he wants to be sure that he's really committed to you and your relationship for all the right reasons. It's so easy to hang on for the wrong reasons. While I don't understand why a break is needed for some to be able to think deeper about it I do understand why they need to think it all over.

After 3 years in a relationship it can be hard to see if you are in it for the right reasons or simply because it's convenient and something that you are used to. Feelings of a close caring friendship can be confused with love. That also happens when people do break up for real, sometimes they go back to each other since they miss the close caring friendship feelings not because they are in love.

I understand what h**l you are going through, it's really tough. Please do take the time to think about what you want from life. That's a life with or without him, the things that's the foundation of your future. Education, job, kids, where you want to live and what you want from life in general. What's the expectations you have on yourself, life in general and on your partner?  When it's time for your crisis you have already done most of the work and you'll slip through it easier. =)