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Is this a reason not to marry someone?

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I trust him. Just not at strip clubs, because of lies in the past... what do women think about their men lying to them about strip clubs and after parties with naked chicks..... too many red flags?

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I'm a men. By all means I do not know this person you're talking about but I will express my opinion on the subject.

I do go out to strip clubs every now and then (even with girls) and we drink, have fun, maybe a lap dance or w/e but that's it. It's never more than that for me or any of my friends. However, if my gf asked me, I would probably avoid saying that I like going to strip clubs.

My point is, sometimes men lie because we belive is the best thing for the relationship (eve tho most times it really isnt) but that doesn't mean we're cheating.

Again, I do not know your bf or what he is like, but if you love this man and he loves you, I would definately put that lie on the past and marry him if you feel he is Mr. Right.

Good luck.
Report (0) (0) | earlier
Def. a red flag, and if he lies about it that makes it even more of a red flag cuz why would he feel the need to lie about it unless theres something more going on. I think you already know yourself wayy to red flags.
Report (0) (0) | earlier
If he is into this recently, like since he has been seeing you then it is atleast a red flag. A guy lying about anything like that can be a red flag. I don't know if it is a reason not to marry but just know that if he does it now he will continue to do so in the marriage. If you don't want a husband who lies about going to see strippers then.... well.... use your best judgment.
Report (0) (0) | earlier
If he goes often, and fails to mention it to you... there's a problem. That's a small lie compared to what he could really be hiding from you. If he continues to go after you ask him not to and explain your reasoning behind it, there is something wrong with the relationship. Perhaps he's got some sort of an addiction? A s*x addiction? Does he have an addictive personality?
Report (0) (0) | earlier
My husband had been to strip clubs prior to us dating and I was not comfortable with it. He asked why, and I told him how the thought of him in that setting where tantalization is the goal for all parties involved felt as if it were a betrayal to me. He thought about it and said he understood how I felt and how that he had never viewed it that way. I love the fact that he has never been back and it makes me feel good to know he appreciates my values that way. Now, would I have canceled the wedding over it... I don't know about that. I would probably hope to find a way to work through that situation with him and determine a compromise. It is something to be careful about though, find a way to build the trust back up.

good luck-
Report (0) (0) | earlier
This is one of the very best reasons not to marry, and can stand alone as THE reason.

Report (0) (0) | earlier
if it happend in the past dont trust him in the future ask your mom and dad about what he have done in the past then see if you wanna mary him
Report (0) (0) | earlier
Ask yourself this: "Will he stop going to strip clubs when we're married?"
Report (0) (0) | earlier
Honestly, that would be to many red flags for me. Do you think him getting married is going to stop this behavior? I highly doubt it. You need to ask yourself how much you can handle. Can you handle a marriage where your husband is out at strip clubs and lying to you? I know I couldn't...
Report (0) (0) | earlier
You answered your own question. Ask yourself, What am I getting myself into. Is it going to get any better.
Report (0) (0) | earlier
Yes. If he's lying to you now, you shouldn't marry him! If you can't trust him you won't have a good marriage.
Report (0) (0) | earlier
is he cheap? because if he is i would not worry. you know what i tell my fiance...if you feel that you need to go to those places then just go to me they are just full of roast beef. i tell him i have no problem with it and i really dont but if that is how he must get satisfied then he can choose to do that rather than spending an enjoyable night with me. he has never gone!
Report (0) (0) | earlier
Definitely serious red flags. This can be an obsession or addiction and therefore hard to break if ever. Few are satisfied to look without touching if the opportunity presents itself. Even if they never touch, they have been unfaithful in every other way. Are they laying with me or the one they are fantasizing about.
Report (0) (0) | earlier
All I can say is do know ignore the signs. Men are me we know that and we can't change the way they are. They are very visual so know that it may not have anything to do with you.

But you better know who you are marrying. If he does this now please don't think he will change later. This time you will just be married to the guy who goes to strip clubs.Is that who you want as a husbsand Jenny? You have to ask yourself if this is what you really want you know.

If you don't trust him then why do you think that marrying him will make you trust him more. Really look into your heart and ask yourself. Ask yourself why you are getting married and not just because you love him, we know that but what is it about him that makes you really want to marry him? You need to really look deeep into your heart. I swear I really need to be a therapist becasue I would love to talk to you one on one. Just really look into your heart that's as best as I could tell you girlfriend.. Make a list of why you should marry and how being married would benefit you and then what you don't like about him and what you've been through and and the cons about him.. Really really think about it before you end up marrying , having kids and then regretting it later..

Good luck sweetie.
Report (0) (0) | earlier
WAAAAAY too many red flags! First of all, those place are gross and a waste of money. The occasional visit for a bachelor party or something is one thing, but a regulare habit? No way. Second, your husband-to-be has no respsect for you if he regularly attends these places AND parties with the chicks afterward! If you haven't done so already, you need to tell him how you feel, that either he stops going to these places or you're leaving him. Do not marry the man until you get this ironed out. Trust is an important part of a successful marriage. If you can't trust him, then why bother?
Report (0) (0) | earlier
u want what u look at....
Report (0) (0) | earlier
Sorry ladies, but if my man wants a stripper...I'll do it for him!!! After my ex's lies and cheating, no man of mine will be going to any strip club...so h**l yes! Reg flags all over the place...
Report (0) (0) | earlier
depends on how often he goes...if this is an every weekend thing i think i wouldnt marry him.....too many red flags for me...if it was once in a while...like a bachelor party or whatever once every couple years or something then ok mayb
Report (0) (0) | earlier
YES THAT IS ARESON, YOU JUST SAID YOU TRUST HIM.. BUT THEN YOU SAID NOT AT STRIP CLUBS SO BASICALLY YOU DONT TRUST HIM LOL AND THERE IS NO LOVE WTHOUT TRUST... IT IS TOATLLY UP TO YOU, IF YOU ARE THE PERSON WHO FORGIVE AND FORGETS OR IF YOU ARE THE PERSON WHO HOLD GRUDGES! IF HE LOVES YOU HE WILL NOT CHEAT AND DO WHATS RIGHT. SO GO WITH WHAT YOU HEART FEELS AND REMEMBER IF YOU MARRY HIM THERE IS ALOT OF STRINGS ATTACHED DO WHAT MAKES YOU HAPPY, I THINK THAT IS THE PROBLEM THESE DAYS US WOMEN DONT DO WHAT MAKES UP HAPPY! SO SHOOT FOR THE STARS!! GOOD LUCK
Report (0) (0) | earlier
if he's not there you won't have to worry............red flag
Report (0) (0) | earlier
ewww!!!!!

tell him to stop going, if he respects you then he should stop..if not then he doesnt care really or doesnt think its bad.

thats a no no..unless you go with him but i wouldnt want to go.yucky!
Report (0) (0) | earlier
Honestly? Yes, there are too many red flags. And it's not about him being in a strip club or around naked women, so much as the lying.

Great relationships are built on trust. If you can't trust your partner, and if one or both of you lies, chances are good that the relationship won't last.
Report (0) (0) | earlier
If I thought he would lie to me about something so stupid as not wanting to get in trouble for being in a strip club, I would not marry him. People that lie about something like that are childish, they aren't adults who admit a mistake and face their problems head on. I could not be married to someone like that. I would rather know the person is going to tell me the truth about anything, that way, even if I don't like it, I can at least deal with it.
Report (0) (0) | earlier