Is this abuse.....help

Question

so when i was little.my brothers use to pick on me.sometimes it was play fighting.other times i think it was serious.fo example,when i would go upstairs my brother would choke me.and my mom would try to get him to let go but he would never listen.he use to make fun of my eye because its lazy.i got fed once a day normally because we had no money. sometimes my parents would watch if my brother beat me.but the thing is i dont really rember if it was acually serious

.and now im 14.i told my mom im athiest and right away she goes no your not.also my mom is scitzo frinic.so the famly fights alot.but its not like there never nice.also i have a black bf.and my brother uses the word n*gger alot.and it pisses me off. and have very bad self confidence but i just relised that may be why.im pre-anerxic i use to cut and get high.i dont listen to rules because i dont care.i ran away from home and got caught.now im almost 15.and focusing on getting my life together.working hard in school getting married and going to collage and controlling my anger.but the thing is im not sure if what i expiernced was abuse.i mean it might sound bad if i write it.but for me i dont think its that bad.idk im confused someone help

Answer 1

I seriously suggest going to talk to some one.

and i dont mean a pro- psychologist cus they're expensive. But some kind of counselor.

Things like that can seriously mess with you in the future.

Answer 2

Sweetie, you mentioned a lot of issues, and these all need to be dealt with one by one.  

They include-

abuse (real or imagined)

self neglect and self destructive behaviour.

anger.

You probably don't get the things that other people take for granted ( , safety, a warm home environment, money for things you want), and it's pretty hard.

I'm not a doctor by any means, but my first bit of advice would be to see one. Do you have a school counsellor? You don't have to tell them everything, even at first it would be good to speak to someone so you know that SOMEONE cares.

This would definitely be my first port of call. If you don't have one, there should be free counselling for people your age in your city. Look them up, and go! Talk it out! Feel free!

Do you have friends you can confide in? It's good to share the problems around.

Maybe you could find yourself a job for just a few hours a week, so that you could get independence and feel worth something. I've expereinced self harm and it has a lot to do with the fact that you think you/your body is worthless. But don't base this on what others think, make yourself worth something!

About your atheism - basically that's something you will work out eventually. But it's hard to believe in G-d when life sucks. I understand fully. That said, believing that there is something higher then you will make you feel that you are here for a purpose and will give you self worth, despite your position in your family and your life.

Good luck!!!

Answer 3

The best way to deal with something like this is to probably talk it through with a psychiatrist. You sound like you have been through a lot, and anorexia is something you should get help for before it gets too bad. Been there myself.

Answer 4

your young. and u havent had the life you deserve.  its very great that your trying to turn ur life around keep up the good work. yes u were faced with neglect your parents should have gone to the governent if you didnt have money.  

Answer 5

Hun. i dont think its abuse. its probably just something not to understand. i know you may want to blame your current problems with ur health and the things you do on your past, but its the future now. forget the past and move on. its good to move on, but do good dont do bad it wont solve anything at all.

Answer 6

You're not being abused, you just live with a family of rednecks. Doing drugs will make you stupid. Not caring about rules is fine until you meet someone who does and that person puts you in prison. Being convicted sucks.

Right now you might want to run away and get high and not care if you're arrested, but in two or three years you night want a job or a house or a career or to go to school, and it's hard getting a good job when you have a criminal record.

All religious moms tell their atheist kids that they are confused, it's mostly to make themselves feel better.

If I were you I'd try really hard to get a scholarship and move far away from your parents, go to school, and get a good job so when you have kids they can have more than one meal.  

Answer 7

well its kinda hard to say,  but your brother choking you and not letting go is way over the line. especially how he calls your boyfriend the N word. Try confronting him or something--but I'd say..hmm...that it isnt abuse but its still over the line in my book

Answer 8

Whether your family was playing or being serious, you should not be hurt. Obviously your family doesn't seem to understand the root of your problems and for this, my heart reaches out to you. Life isn't easy but no one ever said it would be. If I were you, I would seek someone who would genuinely listen. It would be best if it were your parents but if that's not the case, perhaps a school counselor? They could discuss with your parents, since they possibly don't know what's going on. Just because something is in the past doesn't mean it's forgotten, and you could have several problems growing up further without some assistance.