Is this an Engagement?

Question

If you've been engaged for over 2 years, have a ring, but he won't set the wedding date, are you really engaged?

Doesn't engaged mean engaged to be married?

And if you don't have a wedding date set after over 2 years, are you really engaged, since the date is not set?

I'm seriously having my doubts this will ever occur.

Just a girlfriend with a ring and nothing more.

Answer 1

The engagement is the time in which the wedding is planned and/or definite plans for a wedding have been made and the process is being played out. Honestly, if the two of you still haven't set a date or made any plans after 2 years, it sounds to me like this isn't an engagement.

Answer 2

Sounds to me like you have a ring.  And that's all.

If he won't set a date, then give him the ring back for now.  Tell him that he can re-propose when he's ready to plan to get married.  Until then you can go back to just dating.

I have a friend who did this and it really made her guy stand back and think about what he really wanted, and he realized that he could lose her if he didn't act, so he proposed again after less than a week.  They're married now and have been happily so for three years.

Answer 3

Engagement is when two persons whether for love or a central purpose decide to unite in holy matrimony at a set time.

I have known couples who have been engaged for several years without an exact date in mind, but they were planning toward a certain year.

If he won't set a date, or plan, I would say that you have a ring and little else.

The ring symbolizes a promise, and I would be wondering why he is breaking it.

Answer 4

Sorry, but no it's not.

You are right, engaged is to be married at a set time.

Without having a date set and planning, you are just dating and a girlfriend.

I'm sorry he is playing you like this.

Go find another guy who will appreciate you.

This one is just serving his own purposes and not thinking of yours.

Believe me on this.

Answer 5

your defiantly engaged but with someone that is in no rush to tie the knot! a guy i work with was engaged for 11 years before getting married and now he is soo happy but some guys are afraid to take the plunge. I think you need to tell him how you feel and let him know that you are excited to start making wedding plans because you love him so much!! I would start planning anyways so when you do set the date you'll have an amazing wedding!! I wish i had more time to plan mine, that's for sure!!

Answer 6

Girl, I am sorry but it does sound as if he is just stringing you along. Seems like some guys will get the ring hoping it will appease their girlfriend, but they dont intend on actually marrying her.

Before you jump to conclusions, talk to him. Ask him why he is waiting. He might have a reason, like finances, or maybe he is worried whether you are compatible or have the same life goals.

Get to the bottom of this ASAP.  

Answer 7

Really?  I  wonder why he wanted to get engaged?  Have you talked about marriage in the past and what was his reaction? was he excited talking about wedding plans?

My partner never wanted to get married again but asked me a couple of years ago and wle set the date a couple of months later...

I dont blame you for having doubts thats really sad that you havent set a date... I think its time for another chat if you can get him around to talking about it.

Good Luck

Answer 8

It sounds like he wants you to be his. He's just nervous about the hole " I'm getting married and I wont be single anymore " thing. Try going up and asking him if you both can set a date. It's either yes or no. Simple as that.

Who knows, maybe hes just waiting for you to take charge in the relationship! But make sure your relationship means more then a ring. Try to see if he is really into what you have together. If not, call it off and you can wait for him, or move on.

:)

Good luck! and Happy Endings! Or as I say, Happy Beginings!

Answer 9

I think the point of a pledged engagement, is that there is a promise and commitment to get married in the future. It might not always be the near future, and I would advise talking to him about it. I have known couples who were engaged for years before getting married. I, myself, am engaged and my fiance and I have set the date for 3 years from now, so I think the 2 year ordeal isn't a huge deal.

Even so, you should get to the bottom of the fact of whether or not he really wants to take the plunge of getting married.

Good luck.

Answer 10

Technically if the intent of both of you is for you to be married, then yes, you are engaged.  But if he refuses to set a date, you need to talk with him about why he won't set that date.  

My fiance and I were engaged at the beginning of April 2004.  I knew it was coming and we were in the process of buying a place together so I promised him that I wouldn't bother him with wedding details for 6 months.  I think that was a huge relief for him.  Then the 6 months came and went and we started talking about guest lists and venues and costs, and soon enough it was already a year and no date set!  It was stressing him out because his family was pressuring him on how things should be and I wanted to do an intimate wedding with just immediate family and close friends.  Finally, I was tired of waiting and I said how about we get married at my church, with just immediate family and then we go off to Vegas with immediate family and a couple of close friends, have a lovely dinner out there and then extend it into our honeymoon.

There is not a day that goes by that we regret the way we did things, and by not having all of the complications that go along with the typical reception, my husband and I were much less stressed.

Talk with him about why he won't set the date.  Offer him something other than the traditional expensive wedding and see if he bites at that.  If he won't set a date for something intimate, then I think you know your answer.  Good luck!

Answer 11

i agree with everyone else. sorry. You need to talk to him about this.

Answer 12

I think the point of an engagement is the intention of marriage. The ring symbolizes that commitment, but after a while, are you still serious about the promise you made? If you are having doubts, you need to talk to your fiance and find a time that will work for both of you. If you want it to happen, make it happen. Good luck.