Is this an awesome poem ???? Honest Op. Please?

Question

Make up your mind,

Be who you want to be, dont lean on me,

This facad you posses is a mental disability,

Look into the mist, and tell me what you see,

Is it a person of truth, or who you wish you could be,

Behind the wall of barriers and self-test,

Is the key you long to hold,

The image of yourself the true you,

So look at the mirror in the mist,

Bust the barrier and tell me " who is this"

YOU

Please give us your honest opinion of this poem. Dont mince words. Me and my friend wrote this poem just now.

Answer 1

its pretty good w/ a good message. actually great except some of the lines seem a little long for like one line but overall 5 stars i like it

Answer 2

It's not awesome, but it has potential.  The iambs of the lines are off.  The idea is V.G. though. Needs tweaking.

Answer 3

honestly, i like it.

Answer 4

you ask for honesty so i give it to you...

It is ok, but...

NO i dont like it.

Answer 5

I think it's very good, dead serious. It flows well and it is easy to understand. Good work.

Answer 6

It is a good start, and yes it needs some work. At some parts it seems to be following a rhyme pattern and at times it is gone, you either free verse it or have it follow the rhyme pattern or it is not going to flow as well. I would use INSTABILITY instead of disability IMO

Answer 7

i was really entertained it grabbed my attention from the beginning:)

Answer 8

i liked the idea, but the last six lines didn't flow as easily as the beginning ones. That kind of made it harder to read through. so you might think about re-doing that part. Well that is just one person's opinion so yea... that is it from me. i really did like it though...it does make a better rap.

Answer 9

I had to read it like twice to get the real feel of it, but it was really good though! =].

Answer 10

it'd make a good rap, but as a poem...not so much. and your spelling needs a little work.