Is this an inappropriate question for others to ask?

Question

I often have regular doctor's appointments for either of two reasons- one would be my OBGYN (per six months) and two would be my psychologist/Family practitioner (monthly) for ADHD. I always request off work in advance, but find when I tell other co-workers or acquaintances my absence was due to a doctors appointment, they always ask, "OH, whats wrong? Are you sick?". I simply tell them I just have regular appointments. Does anyone else find this rude? My medical business is my business and it is quite awkward to have people meddle, especially when the visits are to my psychologist- something I feel would make my co-workers view me differently.

Answer 1

I do agree that this is an invasion of privacy.  However, it is usually done innocently out of genuine concern for your well-being.

I think it's usually pretty easy to tell if someone is asking out of concern or nosiness.  I would handle the nosiness by ignoring it, that's the best way to get rid of a snoop.  Those who really care if you're sick, on the other hand, you can just reassure them that everything is fine, you just went for a routine checkup or something.  If you trust them at all, you could probably tell them that you have a slight condition and you need to see a doctor every month or something like that.  There's no reason to go into detail if you're embarrassed, or concerned that they might change their view of you.

Answer 2

I think they are more concerned then being rude.

Good Luck

Answer 3

I think it's inappropriate, too.. but I think they ask out of genuine concern (in case you have cancer etc).  

Answer 4

Hm, you definitely are under no obligations to tell them anything (so go on saying it's just a check up).  I don't think the question is horribly rude, but it is a little rude unless they are people who know you well.  

Answer 5

It's not rude just annoying. As you said your medical buisness is just that....your own.

Just keep telling them you have regular appointments and leave it at that {you don't want to start a feud at work}

Answer 6

just telling them that you have regular doctor appointments should be enough for anyone to get the hint that it is your own business.

Answer 7

not really- most people you work with notice you gone on regular basis-once they know your going to doctors regularly it will die down-be suprised how people can be supportive

Answer 8

It isn't inappropriate at all, they are concerned and curious as anyone would be. You're over sensitive and you need to relax about it.

Answer 9

I doubt they are being courteous. I work in the medical profession and believe me, when people pry inappropriately into your personal medical business, they're just being bluntly and rudely curious. They've never been taught or learned any better manners. Plus, they get a scintilatingly weird thrill out of "knowing" something personal about the you.

I had a patient tell me it bothered/offended her when she went through the same thing and she told me that she responded - "I get regular care and checkups. You should try it some time."

[An acquaintence was going through something like you describe so she told her co-workers that she was taking her grandmother to scheduled follow-up oncology appointments and treatments.(She did, however tell her employer the truth and requested confidentiality.) But it worked. Her co-workers quit prying.]    

Answer 10

If it bothers you, then just say that you would rather not talk about it. They sound just like they are concerned about you and see nothing wrong with asking if you are sick. If they ask if you are sick just simply say "No" and drop it. It is YOUR business and not theirs like you said. A lot of people are curious-------and they ask questions.  

Answer 11

it happens it's not so much rude as nosy to me!

just tell them everything is fine! thanks for asking!

it's the nice way to say leave it alone!  

Answer 12

No, it's appropriate.  Your evasion is also appropriate.

Answer 13

Maybe they're just expressing genuine concern.  You certainly don't have to give them any more info than you do.  

Answer 14

Yeah, it is rude, but they're probably just thinking that you have something like problems with your tonsils or something like that. Once, I was at school last year and I had a doctors appointment for this weird staph infection thing. It was super gross and I didn't want to talk about it, but EVERYBODY asked me why I was leaving for a doctor's appointment. I just told them that it was a check up. They're just trying to be thoughtful and probably want to know if you're going to be missing a lot of work and if you want visitors or something. If you don't want to tell them, it's pretty easy to make something up.

Answer 15

I dont think it's inappropiate. I don't think it is any of their business knowing about your doctor appointments. This is up to you of what you want to do with your PERSONAL business leave them out of it. But I  can also see their side of view that they could be thinking We are doing extra work for her doctor appointments when she isnt even sick. but thats not their problem. if you take off for it early I dont see how they could think your sick unless you plan it. I think you should let them think what they want to because this is your bussiness not theirs.

Answer 16

they are just trying to be polite and caring.  i dont think they are in any way trying to be rude.

you are handling the situation well, just continue to say that i have regular appt.s if they continue to ask you questions, then they are being rude.

i dont personally think they would view you diffrently, ADHD is common, and and OBGYN is a girl thing. so you shouldnt feel ashamed or worried.

Answer 17

I totally agree with you. and i dont think thats rude. If you dont want them to know why, dont tell them. Its not their personal buisness. Hope i helped!

Answer 18

i wouldnt take it as rude. people are just nosey & some are genuinly concerned about your health. youre right, it is none of their business, but i often find myself asking if anything is wrong with someone when they have a doctors appointment. its just out of curiosity. i would just tell them it was a check up or something.  

Answer 19

If you don't feel comfortable with it then you don't have to answer!

but it sound like they care about you if they are asking if you are ok!

it's totally appropiate! and if they keep aasking you can tell them to stop!

Answer 20

You spend every day with those people and your frequent absence increases their daily work load or leaves them short handed.  I dont think that their curiosity is all that inappropriate.

You certainly dont have to answer them if you are ashamed of your health issues though.

Answer 21

I think some people are in the mind-set that if you are going to see a medical professional, something must be "wrong". While they are probably well meaning in their asking, it is in fact rude. However, they most likely don't even realize they may be making you uncomfortable. Your medical business is your medical business, and stay firm to your conviction to keep it private. People who have either never had a chronic illness or seen a doctor on an ongoing basis (ie., psychiatry), do not realize that it is perfectly normal to have to make regular visits. My advice would be the next time someone comments on your medical appointments, try to brush them off and tell them it was nothing to worry about. After time, maybe they will get the hint that you value your privacy.  

Answer 22

They are concerned about you. That is not inappropriate. You don't have to give them any information. Your answer is a good one. Don't make a big deal out of nothing.

Answer 23

I would answer exactly how you do ... I do not think people are trying to be rude, I think they just want to make sure you're okay.

I would probably ask a co-worker the same thing and would never intend to be rude.

Answer 24

By telling them why you're going to be out, you open the door for them to ask you more about it.  I could see if it was your supervisor, but if it's just a random coworker, just tell them you'll be out and leave it at that.  In their defense, they may just be concerned and hoping that you're okay.  They may not mean to pry, though they kind of are.

Answer 25

Yes it's a little inappropriate but they are just trying to be friendly.  I don't think they mean any harm.  What I hate is when I have to tell my supervisor that I have a doc app and they get all pissy with me.  I had one B ask me if I couldn't have made it any earlier and how long it's gonna be then threatened to doc my pay.  First of all, the app is at 9am so no it can't be earlier.  Second, There is no way of me knowing how long and now I'm going to feel rushed.  Third, I NEVER EVER miss days and NEVER go to doctors appointments. Fourth, I am allowed personal days which I've never taken in 4 years.  

Sorry for the rant.

Answer 26

Depending on how long you've worked there, it could be considered rude.

But it sounds like your co-workers are just worried about your well-being.

However, if you have worked there for at least a year, your co-workers should know by now to not ask as they are getting the same answer every time. That is rude, and they are just being nosy.  

Answer 27

People are just nosey

Answer 28

Why do you feel like you have something to hide or feel guilty about?  These folks would be rude if they said nothing when you said I am going to the Doctors, they are concerned and want you to know that they care if they did not care they would never ask.  Do not be such a skeptic and think positive.

Next time they ask why dont you try this.

None of your business"  Cause it is really what you are feeling right?  Just like you think they are being nosy.

Lighten up  

Answer 29

No, maybe they are just concerned.  Why do you have to be so negative?

Answer 30

They do it to me, too. They're just being meddlesome/nosy, & trying to hike up trouble. It's not their business. That's between you, your Dr., & your employer. I bet if they had a Dr's. appt. today or tomorrow, they wouldn't tell you. That's how I know they just wanna hike up trouble.

Answer 31

They are probably trying to express concern and show that they genuinely care about your well-being. However, if it makes you uncomfortable tell them! Just blow it off. Say "Oh, no I'm fine, just a regular appointment, i'd rather not go into detail!"