Is this cheating and what would you do?

Question

So my bf and I have been living together for a year and a half. Things have been really rocky for the last few months ex. He always days well maybe we should just cut it dry then and stiff like that anyways just over a week ago I decided that I needed time to think and get away from everything so I went to Mexico. I left him a note telling him I had left to think and that I would be back, I also explained how much I love him but I didnt love where we were in our relationship. Two days after I left I emailed him ( he doesn't have a phone right now) and told him I missed him so much and wanted to work things out I also told him I'd be back on Saturday afternoon. He never replied but I kept sending him emails telling him how much I miss him etc etc. Then here is the kicker I came home on Saturday and he wasn't here but when he finally did come home he told me he had s*x with someone else while I was gone... In our bed!!!!! Now he's making It seem like its all my fault he did that! Do I have reason to be pissed? And what shout I say to him!? I have no clue thank you all for your help :-)

Answer 1

well he cheated on you! two days later! What more do you need to know, he doesn't love you, thats obvious! Leave him and find someone who will love you and be happy. You can do better.

Answer 2

omg, of course you have a reason to be pissed.

wot a a** hole.

you need to talk things through properly.

but if i were you i could trust him again!

x

Answer 3

work it out!!!!!!

try to repair your relationship with him!

he's probably acting out becuase he misses you, and wants things to get better, //he's a boy, and they are pretty different when

it comes to wanting things to get better,

he may want you to get jealous this is why you need communication,

it is key, to a healthy relationship.

and if worse comes to worse..dump his ***, becuase clearly he's

too imature, and needs to grow some balls.

Answer 4

ok I am sorry but are you really that slow?  You went to Mexico to think and he slept with another woman while you were gone and you need help figuring out if he cheated or not?  How does Jeff Foxworthy say it...oh yeah "Here's your sign"...he cheated, he's a pig, you're unhappy and so is he WTH else is there to figure out?

Answer 5

Your boyfriend is a moron....Say nothing and leave his cheating azz behind...He had another woman in your bed within days....seems he was already over you before you even got out of town...

Answer 6

um, he cheated.  leave him.

Answer 7

Yes you have a right to feel what you feel!! You ask what you should tell him??? How about "See Ya!"?

Answer 8

Well, two things come to mind right off the bat. If you wrote to him explaining everything you were planning on doing it is entirely possible he got the wrong idea because frankly, your writing skills are not good. (Read your first paragraph to yourself and see if what you MEANT to say was actually conveyed.) But, poor writing aside, whether you wrote to him or not he knew he was in a relationship so cheating with another woman (in your bed, no less) shows a callous disregard for you and a complete lack of respect. Yes, he can try Jedi mind tricks all day, but you have enough common sense to know this cannot possibly be your fault that he chose to disregard his relationship. All you really need to say is "goodbye" unless you see something there worth saving that isn't apparent to the rest of us. Whatever you decide to do, I wish you the very best of luck.

Answer 9

If he didn't reply to your emails it would seem that he was avoiding any contact with you so he could take advantage of your being gone a few days.  If he cared he would have emailed you right away and asked you to come back and resolve the problem.  Better you know he cheats now than later.

Say to him???  GOOD-BY for starters  

Answer 10

1. It was childish you left

2. YEs-he cheated

3. I would leave him for cheating.

4. Obviously he didn't miss you!

5. Move on already...that so called relationship you two have is not a real loving and respectful relationship.

Answer 11

ask him wtf is his problem!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Answer 12

So, you think it's ok for you to be cowardly and immature, but it's not ok for him? Either it's ok for both of you, or it's not ok at all - pick one. When you start playing head games by leaving notes and taking off, don't be surprised that you are reciprocated in turn. Both of you need to grow up before you can hope to have a good relationship - with each other or with other people.

Answer 13

Do NOT accept that explanation. It is bogus. He clearly is not in love with you; most likely you are a convenience. Yes, you have a right to be angry, but more importantly, you should take a good, hard look at him and the way he relates to you. I would guess he isn't there for you any more and it is time for you to move on. Better some short term pain followed by happiness than living in a situation where there is no light at the end of the tunnel.

Answer 14

That is cheating! He might have been pissed that you went to Mexico... but what he still did was wrong. If he's having s*x with other people, then dump his sorry a**, you can find someone better than him that won't do that to you and who loves you!

Answer 15

Ok even if you weren't together. That is NOT ok because you had just gotten out of a serious relationship. That just proves that he doesn't care about you as much as you do about him. I had the same sort of thing happen to me. I honestly would just tell him to shove it and move on.

Answer 16

You need to figure out what you want.  No, it is not your fault, he made the choice. But, and it's big, all indications are you two are heading down the path of irreconcilable differences. It's not about whose fault it is, it's about what you will do that is best for you.

Not him, not you two, you and you alone.

Answer 17

ya, what do you think?  really you must be a pushover. why would you ask if that was cheating?  of course it is.

Answer 18

You have every reason to be pissed.  You never ended the relationship.  You clearly specified that you needed time to think and that you loved him.  If he has any respect for you, he would have took that time to think things out as well, not get his willy wet from someone else and on top of all of that in the bed the two of you share.  My personal opionion is leave and never look back.  You deserve someone that will respect you as a woman!  But all in all, no one can make that decision except for you.  Is this something you can honestly forget about and continue a relationship or is it something you need to accept as a life lesson and move on?

Best of Luck you in your decision!!!!

Answer 19

YES, BE PISSED!!!!!  And then Dump him.

Answer 20

What's wrong with you?  You have to ask if you should be pissed?  Unless you like being cheated on, then yeah I'd be leaving him or kicking him out, whatever applies!

Answer 21

break up with him

Answer 22

End it and move on. This is to much immature drama to be a real relationship.  

Answer 23

Well, I personally think you're both wrong.  You are wrong for leaving.  How can you solve anything when you take off for Mexico?  And while you're gone, he sleeps with someone else?  That's just wrong too.  Maybe both of you shouldn't be living together at all...neither of you is respecting each other, each others' feelings or the relationship at all.

Answer 24

I would punch him in the face...Its one thing to have s*x with another women but its another to do it in your bed! I would leave him

Answer 25

You have more than every right to be pissed. How dare he sleep with someone else in your bed. Leave him, he obviously wasn't missing you too much while you were gone. I am sorry this is not what you want to hear, but he flat out did you way wrong.

Answer 26

h**l yeah, that is.. if u left in a relationship and never told 1 another that u left him for good.... it would be ok but.. u sent him emails etc and said u still love him! why didnt he email u back! he he thought u lef tyhim why would all your stuff be thier... just make sure you sort it out hun...  

Answer 27

That is definitely cheating!

It is not your fault. He is just trying to put all the burden on you, when you haven't done anything wrong.

He is definitely not faithful, and doesn't know how to wait for someone he "loves."

Maybe it's time you guys should break up :/.  

Answer 28

Yes.  He cheated on you, but wants to make it seem like your fault so he can absolve himself of any responsibility and lay a guilt trip on you.  Don't buy into his justification for having s*x with someone else.  You have every right to be angry.

You should have stayed to talk things out and resolve any outstanding issues with him instead of running away to Mexico.  He should have heard of your plan face to face and not in a note.  That's why he was angry and bent on revenge.  

It's time for you two to separate and figure out if you want to be together anymore.  It sounds like your relationship was already nearing the end and you created the space and time for him to move on to someone else.  it was his decision to not leave your space in the bed unoccupied for more than two days.  If it's your place that you two are living in , you should ask him to leave until you've negotiated a reconciliation.  If it's his place, start searching for a place of your own to move to.  When you are alone and have time to think, ask yourself if you want to continue to live with and have s*x with someone who is so weak they can't be alone for a week without you.

Answer 29

I wouldn't tell him anything, I would just pack my stuff and move on with life. He is trying to make you feel guilty about the whole situation, but don't some men are like that. They want to twist it around so they can have an excuse.... Move On!

Answer 30

what do you mean is he cheating ... didnt you say he told you he slept with someone in your bed??????

is anyone home  

Answer 31

Yes, you have a good reason to be pissed. I think maybe he did that to drive you completely away.To beat it all, screwed her in your bed. I'd throw him out, if you already haven't.