Is this considered abnormal when...?

Question

I'm an Uncle of 2 beautiful children at the ages of 3 and 5. Throughout their infancy I openly expressed that I wanted no part in baby sitting until they were potty trained and absolutely refused to take part in diaper changing because the only kids I want to learn to change diapers on is my own future children. As a result I tend to not want to be around babies for an extended period of time. I can handle from 2 and up as long as I don't have to change their diapers because of my rule that I have. Once I get to experience these things with my own kids then I will allow myself to be open to helping other parents within the family out with their babies.

My main reason why I this is so special to me is because I failed to commit to any of my morals when I was younger and though my fiancee calls this "avoiding changing diapers" I just believe that the whole experience will be ruined if I practice on someone else's child.

So I am being selfish in this? Also does it seem abnormal that I share this view? I am not afraid to change a babies diaper, I'm just not willing to learn on someone else's child.

I am kind of dreading and kind of excited at the same time to see what the answers will be like. Thanks for your time have fun!

Answer 1

I think that you're acting a bit oddly, though not necessarily selfishly.  Like many parents(or adults planning to have children), you want parenting to be a special and new experience.  It's a bit strange that you've focused specifically on diaper changing, but to each his own.

I might suggest not worrying about it too much.  If you put too much importance on it being the first time, you might overreact if something doesn't work quite right the first time, or you might take events with your child, after the first time, for granted.

Answer 2

I think that if you are truly wanting to share that experience with your future children, then you are going to be one committed parent. That is kind of like how if someone unrelated to me asks me to go somewhere with them that I haven't gone with my family, then I don't want to go. I'd rather share that experience of a new place with my family than with a friend. Although it may seem weird to some people that you would want to do that, it's your own moral and you should wait to learn to change diapers with your own (future) children if that is what makes you happy.

Answer 3

BUT these kids are your cousins right so they are family....you could have changed their nappies  when they were younger right when in your care....I do understand being a guy/not a father  yet you dont wanna change strangers babies,I mean kids from friends who aint family.

Answer 4

It's a simple, necessary, natural responsibility that you have when you have children in your care. The poor kids cannot change them themselves.

There is no logical, sane reason why you should not want to learn on someone else's kids. There is absolutely no harm in doing so. Which leads me to this....you mentioned this mostly has to do with your ability to maintain morals. Do you think you're finding something that's easy for you to abide by so you can receive the satisfaction of knowing you're following through with your moral, regardless of how silly and meaningless that it may be? Could it be this is not about the belief that this is wrong, but rather about the satisfaction you're getting from proving to yourself and your wife that you can maintain your morality? If so, find something less immature and more noble to stand up for before  so you can receive respect for something actually worth respecting.

Answer 5

You can change a million diapers and it will never be the same experience as changing your own baby's diaper.So instead of waiting to change your first diaper,wait to change your child's diaper for the first time.So,changing somebody else's kid's diaper won't ruin the experience of changing your child's diaper.

Answer 6

I see nothing abnormal in this, the only thing that is abnormal is the degree of importance you are placing on it. It is a nasty job, but someone has to do it. It is as I see a job that should be shared by a husband and wife, and not the responsibility of any other family member. Oh of course a payed "baby sitter", would also have the responsibility.  

Answer 7

its cool to have a different point of view. i think its awesome that you want to spend your first experiences with your own children, and i think you should do that. it will be even more special to have your first steps with them.

Answer 8

you need practice change the diaper man

Answer 9

To be honest I have 2 kids and I didn't like to change my nephew's diaper.  I actually got kinda sick when doing so.  I hated cleaning his p**p.  It is so weird how my own children can throw up or have a dirty diaper and it is nothing to clean it up.  When another child other than mine does this it makes me sick and I can't handle it.  So my opinion of this would be that I think it is best to learn on your own kids because it isn't the same.  The bond is different and cannot be compared.  I agree with you and think you got the right idea.

Answer 10

i apoligize, but changing diapers isn't something to cherish. my first time babysitting, i was insanely disgusted by what i had to do bit i got used to it, so maybe you should learn what other parents do and have something better to bring to your future child. if you know how to change your baby's diaper, what diapers to get, what wipes to buy, what baby wash you need, etc, it could easily benefit your future child. plus, wouldn't you want help with your child and perhaps be upset with someone who refused to help you? so practicing on another child may be in your best interest, if not for you, for your child then. hope i  helped.

Answer 11

i would think it would be better to practice it so that when you have your own children, you'll be good at it.

i mean, if you change a diaper incorrectly, stuff can spill and leak. you'd have to solve that problem if it was your own child, but if it was someone else's, well, their parents have to fix it.

just my opinion.

<3

Answer 12

That is like saying that you have to practice putting on a pair of panties because you never have before on a 45 year old man's 18 year old daughter.  

When the time comes, put the diaper on the baby.  You lift, tuck, and strap man.  It comes to you in like 5 tries.  Get over it!