Is this domestic violence ? [plz read the whole thing including the other link]?

Question

Ive been depressed this year. My reputation at school went down the drain , i last over 30 plus pounds, and gained a weak rep at school. Am 15 , dealing with a drug addicted mom, who is not the perfect role model for me.

peopel have seen my waekness, i had emotional outbrust, people know about my sucidal attempts, ppl know about the physical fights that happen at home..and i feel that this year, the guiys in my school have used all of this to thier advanatage..Guys in my school start pinching, shoving, grabbing me..and i fight back, but all that comes with that is more hitting from th em.

am scared for my life right now..& worried about this up coming year.

am so sick of being the vitcum..

I just want to run away from everythign..where i live right now is not doing me justice. I feel like i practically have to raise my self.

I need a mother figure..i dont have anyboady else to live with. And i dont even know who my dad is...

I have a older sister, who see everythign that happenign yet, i feel as if she does'nt care.

this is something else that has happen:

http://answers.yahoo.com/question/index;_ylt=AsAkaqFqlUXbVqOH.C0yW__sy6IX;_ylv=3?qid=20080803133319AAI1a6U

I been so isolated.., it the only way that i deal with the pain..

my emotions & feelings are all intense.

everywhere i go, am the center of attention..am that person that peole think got it bad, and build thier confidence over.

am that girl that peolpe take advantage of..am do freaking sick of the BS, that is happening..i have no support system..

i can't even get a job, because am only 15, turnign 16 in nov.

I dont thihnk ill ever be happy in highschool.

my rep is just bad, ppl think so negative of me, ant hat's bcuz i have'nt stood up for myself..

Am getting thepay next week for my depression.

I use be to such a smart, happy girl, who did'nt care about other thought. I knew whati wanted, did good in school, cared about what i looked like, but lately..i just dont care anymore.

am use to be such a smart 2 year back, but lately i changing..my mind is clouded, can't seem to think straight..cant hold conversation, been ioslated for a long time now..

any advice?

my step dad treats me badly also...

at times he calls me outside my name, and has even threaten me at one times or another when mom was'nt there..

i never told my mom about this.

i never have any fun..this is my youth years, and i feel like am 30 sumthing.

am a virgin, anly had one relationship whcih last 2 days..i want love, but i refuse to look for it in all the wrong places..but it so hard fighting the odds..

when i turn 16 in november i might go to job crop..is a place where i con do my schoolign outside of home...i feel like am running away from my problem then fixing it..

what shoudl i do??

Answer 1

Sweetie, I hope you turn sixteen soon.  You have to talk to someone about this.  The things that your mother and step fathter are doing are legally and morally wrong.  Talk to a teacher or a school conselor immediately.  Do not put yourself through any more of this.  There is someone out there that can help you.  As for the boys at school, the teacher and counselor should know about that, too.  What state do you live in?  That will determine the age you can leave home.

Answer 2

I would run away to the nearest woman's shelter. and tell them you are being abused my mom, stepdad, and all the boys at school are taking advantage of your vulnerability. Look into the option of an all girls  school. I know that they are not too popular in the Public School environment, but I think I heard once about pilot programs in that direction.

You're running away from your problems, but not in the wrong direction. It  seems like you are doing the utmost to find the right support for yourself. and that's a good thing.

When guys at school abuse you, tell the school nurse and see if there's anything that can be done to stop it.

In regards to your boyfriend...

If you can have an honest to goodness talk with him, and he's willing to be upfront with you, and stay on the same page as you talk through your personal issues with him, and he doesn't change topic, or shift blame to you, then you know that "he be the man" and you can also confide in him about how you feel intimidated by the other guys who bother you. Maybe he can stick up for you and scare the rest of the guys into leaving you alone.

Also make it clear to your boyfriend that you want to stay in virginity till you're ready to settle into a marriage. This will be the best way for you to build your trust, and not allow yourself "false comfort" (comfort for the moment that you enjoy the s*x) only to find out you were being used.... you know what I mean.

Good Luck.

Answer 3

Wow.  I'm not quite sure what to say, but I wish I could give you a big hug and tell you it's gonna be alright.  November is coming up soon.  You  can make it 3 months.  I'm proud of you for being a virgin, and not looking for guys to build you up.  That would only make things worse, but you know that, don't you.  I hope you can learn from your mom and dad's (for leaving) mistakes, and not pass it on to your children.  I'm reluctant to suggest contacting Child Protection Services, because I've seen them work really poorly in the past, but if it's that bad at home, you might be able to find good foster parents through them.  Do you have any relatives that you could live with?  Or maybe 1 friend with good parents who could take you in, at least until you can join the job corp?  

Do you pray?  I hope you believe in God, and Jesus.  He's with you through this.  Roman's 8:28 has helped me when things were totally screwed up.  "All things work together for good for those who love the Lord; who are called according to his purposes."  Bad things will still happen, but God can bring some good out of it.  He  can use even the bad things.

I  really do hope things work out better for you.  I was miserable in school, but nothing like this.  Things really do get better after hs.  

There's a lot of holier than thou's at church, but I've also met some really wonderful people.  Maybe there's a church around you, where you could find some good people to take you in.  I'll be praying for you, that you find someone.  I've been fortunate to find one who really takes in kids, and single mothers, and anyone who needs it.  I hope you can find something like that.  Good luck, and God bless you.

Kandy

Answer 4

honey it's always rough for every teenager. you either act like an idiot so you can hang with the cool guys or you choose to have a small group of friends and enjoy each other company but constantly be picked on. high school is really a self reflection and evaluation of one self. it helps you to figure out who you are and getting comfortable with that person in spite of other objectives of you. hang in there i know it hard but it only 4 years. it may sound long now but just think of where you were 4 years ago. i'm pretty sure that once you are out of high school things will get better.G/L

Answer 5

First of all, you are a very strong person for surviving everything you've been through! You should be proud of yourself. It's OK that you feel depressed; it's a natural response to the stress you're living in. What's important, though, is that you find help and work through the cloud you say you feel you're in.

The treatment you receive by your parents is child abuse. The treatment you receive from boyfriends is domestic violence. None of it is OK, and you deserve better.

You can disclose the abuse to a guidance counselor, teacher, or something else at your school. You can call the National Teen Dating Violence Helpline (1-866-331-9474) to talk to someone about what you're experiencing and find local help. The most important thing is to talk to someone you can trust.

Whether you stay at home or not, I would encourage you to find safe people who can support you. Safe people can be friends you trust, religious leaders, school staff, counselors, or members of your extended family. We all need people we can trust, but teenagers need them even more while you're learning how to be a healthy adult.

High School will pass, and for most of us it wasn't what it looks like on TV. But now is the time to find help to learn how to have healthy relationships. You can overcome everything you've been through and not live in fear, but it will take work. If you've managed to survive through this, I think you have what it takes to overcome any obstacle.

Answer 6

Please go to a teacher you trust or feel a little attachment to and ask them if you can talk to them.You need to tell them everything before it goes to far at your house. I waited to long when I was your age, I now have memory problems and get major head aches from to many fists hitting me in the head and I'm turning 20. I was able to get a hold of a relative that actually cares, and live with them, and my life has been so much better. If you don't want to go live with a relative at least tell a teacher. I'm begging you tell them before its to late, i know from experience it will just get worse with time. The older you get the more they'll use you and treat you like c**p.