Is this e-mail assertive w/o being impolite? Or should I make some changes?

Question

Today I did a presentation with my fellow co-president to our leadership class. We had two icebreakers to present, she'd present one, I'd present the other.

During her icebreaker presentation I kept quiet, but during mine she kept jumping in and ended up explaining almost half of it.

We're both the leaders of the class and I don't want it to come off as though I'm on a lower level than her. Here is the e-mail I'm sending to her...is this okay polite/assertiveness-wise?

(She actually mentioned that she might've talked too much during the presentation later but I didn't think of what to say back until after the our conversation)

The e-mail:

I was thinking about our conversation this afternoon...you said that you thought you might've talked more than your fair share during the run through of the icebreakers today and I think you have a good point. I never did help explain the first icebreaker so I think it would've been fair for me to do the second on my own, but I didn't get to. So for next time, I would appreciate it if I got an equal amount of speaking time.

Does this sound okay? Thanks for your help!

Answer 1

i think it is ok, but should have been said in person after she mentioned it to you (too bad you couldn't think of the right thing at the time)

the email is fine, but may be percieved as a bit passive-aggressive since she already brought up the issue with you in person

Answer 2

"I was thinking further on the conversation that we had this afternoon about our presentation. I appreciate that you acknowledged that you may have over stepped your bounds with your added dialog during my ice-breaker portion of the presentation. When this happened I felt that it could be perceived that I was of a lower position, and that we were not equals. I hope that this will not be a problem for us to address in the future, and I felt since we shared this position that we need to keep an open line of communication such as this. If you have any concerns that you wish to talk about, please let me know."

Answer 3

I answered this before an am only answering it again because I don't want you to listen to the person who told you may be passive aggressive or whatever.  You were polite and professional and got right down to business.  You did the correct thing and nipped the problem in the bottom before it got out of control.  Kudos to you.

Peace & Love  :)