Is this enough?

Question

I'm currently reading "Toddler Adoption: The Weaver's Craft" by Mary Hopkins-Best. What do you think of this passage?

"In her book, 'Adopting After Infertility', Pat Johnston describes a helpful process for developing an adoption plan:

1. Personal reflection about adoption's losses and your feelings about them.

2. Sharing your discoveries about yourself with your partner.

3. Discussing ways to blend your separate needs and wishes in order to select a consensus or compromise course of action.

4. Gathering information about the options you find of interest.

5. Inventorying personal resources - time, money, emotional energy, and physical capacity.

6. Building a detailed plan for pursuing that course of action - developing strategies, assigning tasks.

7. Pursuing the course of action.

8. Evaluating and adjusting the plan as needed."

Does this process sufficiently meet the emotional needs of the PAP's, and does it address EVERYTHING that PAP's should consider?

Answer 1

This book has been soooooo valuable for so many of us... It has been a few years since I read it (my toddler is now 6!) But, I can tell you that going through the steps and understanding this book not only made a great deal of difference for our toddler--but also our older daughter...

As for your question.... My feeling is that from all sources there might be good things but that no single source will be everything...  

The passage quoted does not address everything a PAP should consider but offers a great resource and valuable information... I believe the plan seems a great deal like what we ended up doing during the course of our traning and home study....

***Added....  This passage is actually a basic "plan" for two people facing a decision or long road together... This nearly exact plan is offered to people Planning what to do with an dying parent... It is a plan for dealing with Personal Emotions about what two people are planning to do...how life will change and what they need to do in order to stay on the same page.... This is a common model for marriage and family planning...

Answer 2

I think it's a great outline for the pre-adoption phase, which means examining yourself and your family and deciding whether adoption is right for you and choosing which adoption route is right for you.

Beyond that, there is a whole lot more, so it doesn't cover "everything" from start to finish.

Answer 3

Wow! Nothing in there about the child at ALL?!?!

Answer 4

Of course, that passage doesn't include EVERYTHING potential a-parents should consider. It doesn't talk about the child. (Although, in my opinion, the rest of "Toddler Adoption: The Weaver's Craft" does that pretty well. There's a *lot* in the book about looking at your child's transition into the family and reactions to things in the context of *all* of their life experiences and *not* expecting them to be a blank slate. )

I think the steps outlined are pretty good steps, albeit broad, to follow in making any joint major life decision -- but obviously, such a broad plan does not encompass all things you need to consider, especially one where a third party (the child) will be so profoundly affected.

Answer 5

I haven't read the book (or even heard of it, until you brought it up here) so what I'm going to comment on is just what you've outlined here, ok?  So forgive me if I make an unfair assumption of it.

But it seems that it certainly does meet quite well the emotional needs of potential adoptive parents.

However I don't see anywhere in your outline, taking into consideration the emotional needs of the child you will someday adopt.

Maybe it's in there and it just wasn't hit upon in the title though.